


Mass Effect 4

by DarkAislinn



Series: Elizabeth "Eliza" Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-06-23
Packaged: 2017-12-05 21:33:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 70,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAislinn/pseuds/DarkAislinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war is over and Shepard has destroyed the Reapers but at great cost with the sacrifice of many. The crew of the Normandy spearhead the search for Shepard while figuring out a way to get to Earth without the convenience of the Mass Relays which in and of itself is a problem all aboard the ship will have to tackle. Shepard would never leave one of her own behind and the Normandy crew has no intention of turning their backs on her, but it won't be easy. Shepard has a lot to deal with in the aftermath as well as everyone who has survived the almost entire destruction of all Galactic civilization while her crew have their own problems to deal with. </p><p>Lots of xenophilia, smut, fluff, love, romance, minor fight scenes, dark thoughts, and memories ahead. I hope you enjoy. I suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Steps

**Author's Notes** : So here is the first chapter of many, I hope. In coming chapters we will see a few more characters, memories, flashbacks, Shepard, and lots of smut so if you are not into that, you, by no means, have to read. I do love reviews and they are greatly appreciated. :-)

**Disclaimer** : I own and claim nothing but the seriously horrendous plot. Enjoy!

 

* * *

 

Garrus stood in front of the Galaxy Map, in the Command Information Center, staring at the Sol System when Joker’s voice, crackling over the intercom, interrupted his thoughts.

“Garrus, Admiral Hackett is personally coming on board to debrief everyone who was on Earth, so you might want to be ready,” Joker said softly. “He said that he’ll meet everyone in the War Room.”

“Thank you Joker,” Garrus said, his voice flat. He pushed away from the railing and turned towards the door leading into the War Room.

“Garrus,” Liara said, catching up to him through the door. “Why aren’t we going back to Earth? Why aren’t we looking for Shepard?” Garrus turned to look at her, his face grim.

“We have to be debriefed before we can do anything. All fleets at the rendezvous point are on lock down. Admiral Hackett should be here shortly.” He turned away from her and continued into the War Room.

“What? But that’s ridiculous! We know more about what happened on Earth than they do! We can’t just leave her there!” Liara cried.

“What do you want me to do about it Liara? Don’t you think I already know this? But coming from a military point of view I understand what’s going on. Trust me, I want to find Shepard just as much as you do and don’t forget that,” Garrus growled at her, his eyes sparking with anger. He glanced up as Tali walked into the room closely followed by Kaiden, Vega, and Javik.

“So Admiral Hackett is going to be debriefing us in person?” Tali asked, coming to stand next to them. “I don’t understand.” Javik stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and looked at Tali.

“I don’t understand this cycle. In my time we would have been out searching for our commanding officer and not sitting here waiting for someone to tell us what happened and what to expect further,” he said, shifting his weight to his other foot.

“Agreed,” Vega said, leaning against the door frame.

“We still need to know exactly what happened on Earth. Did Shepard even make it?” Kaiden asked quietly, looking around at all of them. Garrus turned on him quickly, his eyes sparking angrily.

“Of course she made it Kaiden! Don’t think for a second that she didn’t,” he growled furiously at him. Kaiden put his hands up in the defensive postion.

“I was just saying-“

“You can stop just saying anything altogether. I know she made it. I know I’m not alone in this,” Garrus said, looking at the others who nodded their heads in agreement. All of them turned around at the sound of Admiral Hackett’s voice behind them with Kaiden and Vega saluting him.

“At ease gentlemen,” he said, placing his arms behind his back, lacing his hands together. “I have come to debrief you in person because I think you, all of you, deserve it. We should sit,” he said, gesturing to the table and chairs. He sat down, pulling out a data pad and placed it on the table. “I’ve linked all of this information to your omni-tools so you can reference it. As you may or may not be aware the Mass Relays were badly damaged, but it’s nothing we can’t fix. However, this is going to make space flight extremely difficult for those of us who are not used to it. We currently have no word about the Citadel and how much damage it took. The Geth are seemingly unresponsive and we can’t raise them on any communication channel. We don’t know what happened on the Citadel, but as far as we can tell the Reapers were destroyed as well as all synthetic life which puts all of us in a difficult situation. We chose this rendezvous point strictly because we can survive here until we can manage to get back to our systems, assuming we can fix the relays fast enough,” he said, looking at each of them. “If you look at the galaxy map on your omni-tools you will see that we are in the Exodus Cluster which has a few systems and we are not far from other clusters. Some of you will be wanting to head back to your own systems and planets, but without the relays that is not an option right now. All of the fleets knew this when we discussed the rendezvous point and the possible outcomes that the Crucible could have on the Citadel. Our top scientists warned us of many scenarios and this is one of them.” He sat back and looked at them carefully. “We will keep you updated on current events as we try to move forward. But for now we can rejoice in the Reapers destruction. Are there any questions?”

“Sir, what about Commander Shepard?” Tali asked quietly.

“We have no word about whether or not Commander Shepard made it back to Earth alive,” Hackett said softly, laying a hand over hers. “Right now all we can do is hope and pray for her. We don’t even know if Commander Shepard is on Earth.”

“We have to find her, Admiral,” Liara said, turning off her omni-tool. “Shepard wouldn’t just sit here waiting; she would look for any one of us.” Hackett turned his head to look at her and nodded.

“I agree Dr. T’Soni, but my hands are tied. There is nothing I can do at the moment,” he said carefully.

“Bullshit! We could have search parties pulled together in a matter of hours back on Earth looking for her and send ships to the Citadel to look for her. You’re choosing not to look for her,” Garrus said angrily, his mandibles flaring, slamming his hand down on the table making everyone jump from the loud noise.

“Officer Vakarian, I know that you’re angry but it would take us weeks at best to get back to Earth. If she is on Earth then she could be anywhere. Trust me, I disagree with this just as much as you do, but this is coming from the highest of chain of command which is above me. As I said, my hands are tied,” Hackett said, barely controlling the edge in his voice.

“The Alliance should be doing a lot more to look for her! She saved every goddamn species in the galaxy,” Garrus said, his blue eyes dangerously heating up. Admiral Hackett leaned back in his seat, lacing his hands together and looked at all of them. “She would say fuck the rules to save anyone who needed help, which includes you and the entire Alliance Navy.” Liara placed her hand on Garrus’ arm and he shook it off angrily, staring down the table at Admiral Hackett.

“I agree with the Turian,” Javik said, looking between the Admiral and Garrus. “Had I been given an order to abandon my commanding officer I would have ignored it and dealt with the consequences later, especially during these circumstances. Commander Shepard did the impossible and her people are treating her like she is nothing. It is sickening; she should be your first priority.” Admiral Hackett looked down at his hands and took a deep breath.

“It, sadly, is not the first time the Alliance has abandoned Shepard,” Tali said angrily. Hackett drew his eyebrows down and frowned.

“It was neither my nor Admiral Anderson’s decision to abandon the Commander. When the Normandy was destroyed in Geth space we did everything we could to get the Alliance and Council to search for her. They would not budge and believed that she was killed in action which turned out to be true due to some evidence we received from a very good information broker on Illium,” he said, shooting a glance at Liara whose eyes widened in feigned ignorance. “We also received word that when she was recovered Cerberus was involved. As much as we wanted Shepard we could not work with Cerberus and after all of this, with good reason. The Alliance refused to give Shepard her rank back despite the protests of many. Shepard is like a daughter to me, so don’t think that I do this without a heavy heart,” Hackett said, anger at the edges of his voice. The crowd at the table was silent, taking in what he said. Not once had any of them ever considered that it was not Anderson or Hackett who refused to look for her and declared her KIA. The Alliance, as a whole, had been the culprit. The Alliance treated her as just another soldier, but she was more than that, especially now. Anderson had welcomed her back with open arms when he knew she was alive. Hell, Hackett had personally come aboard a Cerberus controlled vessel to debrief Shepard about the Batarian System she destroyed to bide time before the Reapers invaded.

“So what do you propose we do, Sir?” Vega asked. Hackett looked up from his hands at him and gave a half smile.

“What would the Commander do?” he asked them, looking around at the grim faces of her crew. The looks on their faces was exactly what Hackett was talking about when Shepard asked him why they chose her to lead the galaxy in the fight against the Reapers. She was a leader and a friend to her crew and they followed her into hell. She never gave up on them and they weren’t about to give up on her now.

“If I remember correctly Shepard would enlist the help of an Admiral to help the Normandy escape,” came Joker’s voice crackling over the intercom referring to the incident where Udina had locked down the Normandy and Admiral Anderson knocked him out and released their lock so they could chase Saren to Ilos. Hackett chuckled and stood up away from the table.

“I cannot give you orders to go back to Earth, but if the Normandy were to go rogue I would never know. I would have no knowledge of how the Normandy, and its entire crew, initiated stealth systems and slipped past all of the fleets,” he said, looking at all of them with his arms behind his back. “I expect you understand?” Everyone nodded, looking around at each other. “This debrief is over. I need to return to the Fifth Fleet. It’s time I try to figure out where the Normandy is.” With that, he turned away from them and strode from the room.

They sat there, looking at each other, not knowing exactly what to do next. They got the Admiral’s permission, but it was going to take more than the Normandy and half of the Fifth Fleet to find Shepard. Earth was no small planet and there were many cities to look through. They were talking about sifting through tons of pounds of rubble , broken streets, downed buildings and every nook and cranny they could find to locate Shepard. It was going to be no easy feat and they needed help, more help than they already had.

“Before we go anywhere, I propose that we contact all of Shepard’s allies and ask for help. Many of them are still at Earth or here with the fleets,” Liara said, voicing everyone’s thoughts.

“That’s a long list Liara,” Kaiden said. “I mean how do we know that many of them are still alive?”

“We know that Wrex, Jack, Miranda, Grunt, Samara, Jacob, Kasumi, and Zaeed are still alive. Shepard talked to them via a communication terminal before the final assault. We can contact them and see if they lend any support in our efforts,” said Liara who was looking at her omni-tool. “Aria may also be a possibility. She did give Shepard the Blue Suns, Blood Pack and Eclipse. I am not sure if she’d be willing. However, she’ll have little choice in the matter considering most of them were at Earth.”

“Aria T’Loak? Are you serious? We can’t trust her with a ten foot pole!” Joker said over the intercom.

“She trusted Shepard only to help her take back Omega, so what does that say?” James asked.

“We need to leave soon and start coordinating with people,” Garrus said.

“I’ll be down on the engineering deck with Adams, Daniels and Donnely,” Tali said as she stood up. Garrus nodded at her.

“Liara can you use your resources as the Shadow Broker?” Garrus asked looking her direction. She looked up from her omni-tool with a small smile.

“Of course I can,” she said.

“I’ll be in doing some calibrating and try to get in touch with as many people as I can,” Garrus said and with that everyone went off to their designated areas.

Once Garrus was back at the gun battery he leaned against his desk, looking at his sniper rifle. He sighed heavily. Was she still alive? The thought in and of itself left a tight, cold grip on him. If she wasn’t- no, he wasn’t going to think like that. She had to be. Shepard had been through far worse and had come out alive. He closed his eyes, remembering the look on her face as she told him goodbye as he and Tali got on board the Normandy before she made her suicidal attempt at reaching the beam. He’d never seen that look on her face before. It wasn’t just determination. In her eyes he saw the despair, stress, loss, love, and fight she had inside of her. No words would have convinced her to stay and let the galaxy be destroyed and he admired that, loved that about her. She was a rare thing in the universe, but from all the vids he had seen and all the reading he had done that was the main difference between humans and the rest of the galaxy.

Deep down he truly believed that if the task of saving the galaxy had been left up to any other species, his included, there would have never been a chance. Before meeting Shepard, he’d had a crude way of thinking about them. He thought they were a strange species. But when it came down to it, humans had the most fight in them. Even more so than the Krogan or the Turians.

The galaxy had seen the humanity as a giant bully. The pushed to get what they wanted and they never gave up. During the 314 Relay incident the Turians believed that they had gotten the upper hand, they were too confident thinking the humans inexperienced in war. They had the largest fleet, the strongest armies in the galaxy, but in the end the Turians suffered one of the greatest defeats in their history by a new race. Humanity had shown its teeth and beat them back.

After he started working with Shepard he had done an exorbitant amount of research on their species. The humans had always warred with one another for various reasons. Religious beliefs, humanitarian beliefs, rights, animals and so many other things.

The Turians were good at war, but they had a pride problem. They refused to admit that they were losing and in doing so they would lose more soldiers than needed. The Krogan would decimate anything in their path without regard for life or consequences. The Quarians refused to get into anything and instead focused their anger on their mistakes. The Asari tried diplomacy and instead of fighting most of the time, they enlisted the help of other species. The Salarians were sneaky and did black ops missions. Humans were different. They could admit when they were defeated, they didn’t attack unarmed civilians for no reason; they used diplomacy when it worked and relied solely on themselves to solve a problem. They had their black ops, but they did not try to deny it.

Humans were stubborn, hardheaded creatures but they cared about everything and anything. That was what separated them most. They would ally themselves with an enemy to take down a greater threat when no other species was willing to. They cared about the well being of others and not just themselves. In the end, Shepard showed the galaxy why humanity was the greatest species in the galaxy. Humanity got the impossible done. Garrus admired the human race. They were so diverse but when it boiled down to it, they would all stand together. They refused to give up and Shepard was the epitome of the human species.

Garrus sank down onto a box of ammunition, feeling his shoulders sag. He wasn’t sure what he would do without her. He remembered the conversation he’d had with Sha’ira the Consort on the Citadel, before Shepard and the Normandy went off to Horizon and discovered the horrors of Sanctuary.

_He was sitting in the Presidium, watching Shepard speak to Joker about EDI who was wandering the Citadel unattended when a hand was laid on his arm. He looked up and the Consort smiled down at him._

_“Garrus Vakarian?” she asked in her soft, husky voice. He nodded, unsure as to why the Consort would seek him out. He’d never tried to see the Consort because he simply didn’t care. “May I sit here?” Again he nodded, still confused. She sat down gracefully, very unlike Turians._

_“Is there something I can do for you?” he asked, looking at her. She smiled a soft smile._

_“That is an interesting question. However the answer is no. I merely would like to speak to you,” she said, looking over at Shepard who was laughing at something Joker said. “The Commander is a special person. She’s been through much and will go through worse before the end. It is good that she is here even if for a short time.” He didn’t like the look she was giving the Commander and shifted his weight in his chair. Sha’ira glanced at him, her mouth pulling up in the corners. “Garrus, I do not wish to come between you and the Commander though from what I hear there is an Asari who has caused a divide.” With that mentioned they both looked over at Liara who sat diligently reading a data pad and typing on her omni-tool. He shook his head._

_“No actually. It would be more accurate to say that I have caused the divide,” he said, his voice deep and rumbling. She raised her eyebrows in slight surprise. “But you said you had something you want to talk about?” She nodded and leaned back in her chair, her face becoming serious, crossing her legs. As she did, he couldn’t help to glance at the long expanse of blue, slender legs as her dress parted at the slit. Immediately he felt ashamed and felt his face get hot but it looked as if Sha’ira had not noticed or if she had, she had the tact to not say anything._

_“A few years ago I gave Shepard some words of wisdom and I see that she has followed the path I spoke of, but I fear something,” she said quietly, looking down at her hands. When she looked up at him again there was a fire in her eyes. “I fear that without Commander Shepard, this galaxy cannot survive. Her crew must ensure her survival. Everything that she has worked for and has accomplished could all disappear in the blink of an eye without her. She is the heart of the galaxy.” She placed her hand on Garrus’ and looked him in the eye. “Commander Shepard must survive. You and your crew must see to it that nothing happens to her. Never leave the Commander behind.” She looked away, removing her hand and stood. Garrus say there staring at her; he wasn’t sure what just happened. “It has been a pleasure speaking with you Garrus.” As she walked away she watched Shepard, worry lining her face as if she knew something no one else did._

Garrus now understood what the Consort had meant. He believed that she was right. The Galaxy couldn’t survive without Shepard.

And he had no intentions of leaving her behind.


	2. The Geth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war is over. Shepard has defeated the Reapers at great cost. The Normandy sets a course for Earth while survivors search to find her body. She wouldn't give up on them and they sure as hell are not giving up on her.

**Author’s Notes:**  For any of those who read the last chapter, First Steps, I am starting this story from the very end of Mass Effect 3. I did choose to destroy the Reapers so Shepard is alive. I chose not to go with control or synthesis simply because there is no bringing Shepard back from that. I have read comments and people, naturally, bring up Project Lazarus. That would be a solution if there was anything left of Shepard to reconstruct. Sadly, with control and synthesis Shepard was disintegrated. Anyway, for the sole purpose of this story I am using my main Shepard from the games who followed the Paragon path with the occasional Renegade actions and conversations. Elizabeth Shepard is a Spacer and a War Hero.  She romanced Liara during the chase for Saren, Sovereign and the Geth. In Mass Effect 2 she romanced Garrus with a side of Liara after the Lair of the Shadow Broker. In Mass Effect 3 she chose to stay with Garrus and in my story, it will be explained for those of you who are FemShep/Liara fans. I am too, don’t get me wrong but even though I love Liara to death I always felt that Garrus was a better match and, again, it will be explained whether it is from a memory/flashback or a conversation between characters. I am going to _try_ as hard as I can to keep the characters from going out of character, so try to bear with me. With all of that said, please continue to read and enjoy! Reviews are greatly appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** Bioware and EA own all the rights to the Mass Effects series. I own and claim nothing but the plot point for this story. 

“A stubborn enough person can survive almost anything.” Zaeed – Mass Effect 2.

 

* * *

 

_Cheering, so much cheering. The sounds were twice as loud as they should have been. She tried to open her eyes, but felt instead as if her head would split open. She could smell smoke, dirt and rock. There was something heavy on her. She tried to push it off but cried out in pain when she tried to move her arm. She tried sitting up, but the motion made her dizzy and she felt bile rising in her throat. She swallowed it back down and leaned back panting. Once again she tried to open her eyes and having succeeded this time, despite all the pain, looked around her barely able to move her head. It was dark. All she could see was rock and pavement around her. She looked down at her arm and grimaced. It was broken, as well as her legs. Her breath started coming in quick gasps as she tried to get a grip on her control._

_“I’ll be fine,” she whispered, her throat raw from breathing in the dust that was still in the air. When she swallowed it felt like she was trying to swallow a mouthful of rocks. Her throat was dry and she felt weak. She looked up and couldn’t see anything. It was too dark to see anything. With her only good arm she tried to shove the heavy chunk of concrete off her but to no avail. She groaned in pain as she moved, her breath catching in her throat and her world going dizzy again._

_She laid back, letting out a shuddering breath and tried to call out to anyone. It was too loud; no one would here her calling. The pain was too much and she closed her eyes again, letting the sweet dark take over her as she passed out with one last thought of the Normandy._

* * *

 

“How much longer Joker?” Garrus asked walking up behind him. Joker looked over his shoulder and sighed.

“It’s going to be awhile Garrus,” he said, moving his fingers over the console; engaging the stealth systems. “It’s going to take us weeks to get there.”

“How many weeks are we talking about here?” Garrus asked, leaning against the door frame. Joker shook his head and turned his seat around to face him.

“Eight to ten if Liara’s calculations are correct,” Joker looked down and then back up at Garrus. “I don’t know how much you know about humans Garrus but if Shepard’s not found in a few days there is no way she’ll be alive by the time we get there. She has to have water at least to make it. We need to get in touch with people on Earth to find her or she’ll be dead in a matter of days and it won’t matter how long it will take us to get back to the system.” Garrus was quiet for a minute taking in what Joker said. A few days? He felt a cold grip take him and he shook it off.

“Shepard is strong. She’ll make it,” he said as if trying to convince himself and not Joker. Joker shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter how strong willed she is. If she has water then she’ll make it, but the human body can only go three to six days without water before we die. I know you don’t want to think about it Garrus, fuck, neither do I. But we have to. Shepard needs to be found immediately. I won’t go into all the gory details about what will happen to her if she doesn’t have water, but just know that she will suffer. You and Liara and everyone else have to get in touch with people on Earth. They have to find Shepard now,” Joker said, his voice angry. He turned back around effectively turning his back against Garrus.

Garrus took off towards the War Room, maneuvering through the people on the ship. As he passed Specialist Traynor he barked orders at her to send Liara up into the War Room. Liara came rushing in and looked at him with curiosity.

“Traynor said it was urgent and that you looked like a madman,” she said. “What is it?”

“I need you to be the one to organize search parties on Earth. I will be with the engineering crew and Tali to see if there is any way we can make this damn ship go faster. Have you been able to get in touch with anyone back on Earth?” He was pacing, his hands shaking as he looked at her hope in his eyes. She brought up her omni-tool.

“Yes actually. Miranda, Jack, Wrex and Grunt are all searching for her in the parameters that I assigned them. Jacob, Kasumi and Samara are searching the citadel or what’s left of it anyway. So far there has been no word,” she said, looking at her omni-tool reading the conversations between herself and the others.

“Search parameters? What are they?” Liara looked up at him for a moment and brought up a picture of where the beam from the Citadel was touching Earth. She must have taken it when Shepard forced them onto the Normandy before she made her suicide run.

“I had some help from Tali determining where Shepard might have landed after having armed the Crucible and luckily it was only a 20 mile radius. It might sound like a lot, but with the help we have Shepard should be found in a few days,” she said turning off her omni-tool and looking at him.

“A few days? She doesn’t have that long Liara!” Garrus said, pacing again.

“I’m sorry Garrus it’s the best we can do. Isn’t it worth trying at least?” she asked, wringing her hands together. “With Miranda and Jack’s biotics the search should go by faster. As biotics we can move rubble faster than that of any other person.”

Both of them were quite for a few minutes, thinking about Shepard on Earth. They both had horrific images popping up in their minds. Shepard dead and bleeding, Shepard dead from starvation, Shepard crushed to death and suffering. The images just wouldn’t stop coming. Liara took a shuddering breath, trying to push them from her mind but to no avail. She felt tears well up in her eyes and looked at Garrus.

“What if we don’t find her?” she whispered, her tears making wet track marks down her soft blue face. He looked up at her. He knew now was not the time to be angry at Liara for being in love with Shepard. He knew she was hurting just as much as he was. He walked over to her and took her hands in his and forced her to look him in the eyes.

“We will find her Liara,” he said, his voice deep and rumbling. She started crying in earnest and threw her arms around him, hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and let her cry on him. He was never very good at comforting people especially when they were crying but he felt that this was what they both needed. Eventually Liara pulled herself away from Garrus.

“I’m sorry,” she said looking down at her hands.

“Don’t be. The person we love is somewhere on Earth and we are not there. We just need hope and we can’t let ourselves think that we might not find her.” She smiled softly and nodded. “Keep in contact with those on Earth and let me know if they find anything at all. Speak with Traynor and see if she can help with communications. I’ll be down with Tali and the others.” He turned away and made towards the elevator. Once the elevator doors shut he breathed out and leaned against the back wall.

He closed his eyes and saw Shepard standing in front of him, her arms crossed over chest while she asked him about the Turian chocolate he had received from Dr. Michele. Leave it to him to blurt it out in front of Shepard that Dr. Michele had given him some. He smiled a Turian smile at the memory.

_He was doing was he always did. Calibrating the Normandy’s weapon systems. He trusted the crew but he was better at it than everyone else. He heard the door to the gun battery open and looked over his shoulder as Shepard walked in, wearing the black slinky dress, as Tali described it, that Kasumi had given her for the big heist. She walked past him and leaned against the railing, crossing her arms over her chest._

_“Need me for something?” he asked, trying hard_ not _to look at how the dress accentuated her hips and breasts. When she didn’t answer, he stopped what he was doing and looked at her. “Shepard?” Her eyebrows were drawn down into a slight crease over her eyes which held some sort of emotion that he couldn’t quit put his finger on. She was good at that. “Too good,” he thought. She tilted her head, her red hair brushing her shoulder and her bright, so beautifully bright, green eyes just looking at him. She took a deep breath and sighed._

_“Why did Dr. Michele give you chocolate?” she asked her voice quiet. He was startled. That was certainly not what he thought she would ask him. It was a relief really. She was jealous and he inwardly smiled at the thought. Too often was he worried that she would come into the gun battery and tell him that she was in love with Liara and she wanted nothing more but to be friends with him. He gave a small laugh, the flanging of his voices reverberating across the walls._

_“I don’t know really. Like I said she told me that she saw it and thought about me. It’s probably because I helped her with Fists thugs with you help as well,” his voices coming out as a deep rumble. She didn’t say anything but just stood there looking at him, taking in what he said and thinking about it. It’s what she did best. She wasn’t a rash person but occasionally she would lose her temper. Mostly it was only when someone said or did something stupid. She looked away for a moment before returning his gaze._

_“Try not to let it happen again Garrus,” she said, her voice low and sexy or at least he thought it was sexy when she lowered her voice the way she did._

_“It’s just chocolate Shepard,” he said and immediately regretted it as he saw the way her eyes sparked and she tilted her head at him, bringing down her eyebrows over her eyes._

_She shook her head and said, “It is not_ just _chocolate. Maybe Tali was right when she said I need to watch myself.” He felt worry slither through him hard and violently._

_“Shepard,” he started but she raised her hand effectively cutting him off._

_“To you it might be just chocolate but to me, it sends a different signal. I know that you don’t know a lot about humans, so I’m willing to let this slide. However, for future reference don’t accept chocolate from anyone but myself. Or unless it’s someone from the crew,” she said, coming to stand before him, looking up at him with a smile on her face. She took his hands in hers and looked into his eyes. Her green eyes were like liquid as she peered at him. Kelly had once compared her eyes to a Granny Smith Apple and though he hadn’t known what that was at the time he looked it up and had to agree with her. Shepard placed her hand on the side of his scarred face, caressing him there._

_“So no more chocolate then?” he asked. She laughed and stepped back sliding her hand down his arm, making him crave her._

_“Not from Dr. Michele anymore anyway,” she said. “I have to get to the War Room. The Admiralty board from the Migrant Fleet is waiting for me. I can’t wait to hear what Admiral Xen has to say about Legion.”_

_Before she left, he grabbed her arm and brought her to him placing his forehead against hers. “Don’t worry about that crazy bitch. Just remember that we all trust you.” She smiled and escaped from his embrace. She walked away, her hips swaying slightly and he knew he was in for a long night trying to calibrate the Normandy’s weapons._

He opened his eyes when the door of the elevator opened and made his way towards the engineering room. Tali was standing there discussing something with Adams when he walked in. Tali excused herself to come to stand in front of him.

“Any news yet about Shepard?” she asked, her mask blinking blue every time she spoke. He shook his head and she looked away. “They’ll find her Garrus, I know it.”

“Want to figure out a way for this ship to go faster?” he asked. She looked up at him and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Do you have an idea ?” he nodded and motioned for her to follow him.

“I do, I just hope you’re ready for it. It’s going to take some persuading from the Migrant Fleet.” She titled her masked head at him.

“Oh I am definitely ready for it then. As an Admiral my voice does carry weight. What did you have in mind?”

He looked at her and flared his mandibles in a smile.

“We’re going to reactivate the Geth.” 


	3. EDI

**Author's Notes:** I hope everyone enjoyed my last chapter, The Geth. This chapter is expected to be a bit longer. I know that I tend to stick to Garrus' point of view, but occasionally that will change. There will be chapters from someone else's point of view, however rarely. I am sure, though I could be wrong, that many of you (whoever has read this) is wondering how the Geth can be reactivated. I'm not going to go, or at least try, into too many technical details especially since the Codex doesn't really explain how they work all that well. I do not have a degree in quantum computing so I'll try to explain, through Tali, as best as I can with the help of Wiki: Mass Effect – The Geth. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter! J

**Disclaimer:** Bioware and EA own all the rights to the Mass Effects series. I own and claim nothing but the plot point for this story.

* * *

_"Shepard, where the hell are you?" Wrex grunted, moving a behemoth sized piece of concrete while Grunt sifted through debris, occasionally wiping his hands on his armor._

_"She's not here," Grunt said turning to look at Wrex. Wrex looked out at the landscape, if you could call it that. The ground was littered with paper, metal, creaking buildings that were half blown apart and groaning as if wanting to tumble down to the Earth. There were fires off in the distance, clouds of smoke billowing up everywhere. Not too far away from them, maybe a few miles, a Sovereign sized Reaper lay dead; it's giant carcass casting a large shadow over the already darkened area. "We need to move on. We have checked every square inch of this sector." Wrex made a noise and looked at Grunt. He motioned for Grunt and the other Krogan to follow him._

_"Do you think Shepard made it?" one of the Krogan asked as they kicked a chunk of rock out of their way._

_"Shepard survived getting spaced. A little fall won't kill her," he said giving a harsh, barking sound of a laugh. Shepard was a good friend to him and had done more for him than anyone or anything else in the Galaxy. She found his family armor and cured the genophage. He would make damn sure that she was found. She never gave up on him and he wasn't going to give up on her. He looked at Grunt who nodded, echoing his thoughts. "Grunt, tell Liara that we searched this area and we didn't find Shepard."_

_Off in the distance he heard Miranda calling out for Shepard which wasn't a half bad idea except that she probably wouldn't be able to speak. Not with having been breathing in all the dust from the war. He turned and began walking towards their destination. "You better be alive Shepard," he thought to himself as he told his men to move out._

* * *

Tali stood there silently staring at Garrus. He figured that behind her mask her mouth was hanging open. He looked at her expectantly, waiting on her response his arms crossed over his chest.

"You-you want to reactivate the Geth? I'm not even sure if that is possible. We don't even know what happened to them to begin with," she said. "If we knew what exactly the Crucible did to them then maybe we can figure out how to fix them but…" she trailed off not exactly sure on what to say.

"Then we need to figure it out."

"Garrus, what if we fix them and their upgrades don't work? Then what? What if they start firing on people? We have no idea what could happen." He looked at her, his blue eyes trying to look through her mask.

"Their upgrades will work. The Reaper installs on the Normandy are still working. Don't forget that the Geth are the only thing that will make it possible for the Quarians to live on their home world without those suits. We need the Geth Tali. We need to try," he said. She took a deep breath like she was going to say something, but dropped her arms from her chest and shook her head.

"Normally the only way for an AI to be "reactivated" is to take their blue box and place it in another platform. It sounds simple but if their blue box is damaged then all that is left is data files. You can put those data files into a new blue box inside a new platform but the personality matrix will change. There is a chance that the personality that was there will be altered. In a sense it is like going through a traumatic accident. There is no guarantee that they will be the same. Let me show you something," she explained while pulling up her omni-tool a scan of a Geth she had scanned with its permission after Shepard had obtained the Geth's allegiance and peace treaty between them and the Quarians. "You see this here? This is the blue box. Essentially it is a highly evolved and complex quantum computer. Perhaps it is as simple as placing the blue box into another platform, but if the data files are fried then there is nothing we can do. We'd have to create more Geth, start over and then we're back to the beginning and without the Reaper's upgrades it would take them centuries to reach full AI status. If we can reactivate them then we're taking a chance on them not being the same. However, like you so tactfully pointed out my people won't be able to walk on Rannoch without their help. I just think we're taking a huge chance on this Garrus. I would need to have a Geth on board to look at what has been done to them before I decide anything," she said closing her omni-tool. "Do you really think the risks outweigh the unknown or possibilities?"

Garrus ran a hand over his face, sighing. He really didn't know what to think. Normally this decision would be left up to Shepard but they were all running blind at the moment. They had no direction and weren't getting as much support as any of them would have liked. The intercom crackled.

"You don't need a Geth Tali," Joker said, his voice quiet. He was silent for a moment. "EDI had procured another platform from Cerberus when she and Shepard raided the Illusive Man's base. She was keeping it in the AI core. I think she had an idea that something like this would happen. EDI is an AI. Do you think it's possible that if you fix her you can fix the Geth? God, I hate using EDI like this." Tali stood there for a moment, thinking over what he said.

"I think EDI would appreciate and encourage this Joker," Adams said, tapping away at his console.

"I can try Joker, but I cannot say with full certainty that it will work or that EDI would even be the same. I'm hoping that it's something as simple as just pressing a button but I have a feeling that I'm going to have to cross wires or completely redo her computer," she said.

"You need to at least try," he said and then the intercom clicked off. Tali sighed, her mask blinking rapidly. She had her arms crossed over chest and looked down at the floor, scuffing it with her boot.

"Garrus, can you put EDI in the medical bay along with the other platform? I need to get Liara to help me. She can have access to information, classified information, which I will need. Keelah, I hope this works," she said and walked away.

Garrus slid a hand over his face, breathing out a puff of air. If Shepard could do all of this alone then they could too. Hell, she'd done more alone then they were together. He wasn't sure how she did it. How did she manage everything and not crumble under the weight? He turned and made his way back towards the elevator, walking in and pressing the button. The door shut around him and he stood there in the quiet. When the doors opened again he heard the sounds of laughter and chatter from the crew on board. He wasn't sure how they could be so damn happy. He walked towards the medical bay and nodded at Dr. Chakwas as he walked passed EDI's body, that's what he considered it anyway, into the AI core.

The platform lying on the area where Legion had once resided didn't look much different than the one EDI used. Cerberus must like them all the same, he thought. He picked it up, like carrying a baby and turned. Tali and Liara were scanning EDI with their omni-tools when he placed the new body on the table opposite of EDI's.

"Do you need anything?" he asked looking between the two women bent over EDI.

"If you could monitor the communications in my room that would be helpful. Since I am in here I can't respond to anything," Liara said not looking at him, but touching her omni-tool and doing another scan. He nodded and walked out.

"Do you really think this will work?" Liara asked Tali. Tali sighed.

"I don't really know. I hope so," she said as she turned EDI over and began peeling away the layers of what had served as EDI's skin. Together she and Liara took apart the back of EDI's head carefully, feeling as if they were raiding a corpse.

"This is what an AI looks like," she said. She peered into the back of EDI's would be skull and used a thin piece of metal to move the wires around, looking for anything that would give sign as to what caused her and the Geth to shut down. Tali paused for a moment and stepped back placing her hands on her hips. She looked at Liara. "Wait. EDI isn't housed in this platform. She's actually housed in the Normandy. Liara I need you to hack into the Cerberus networks and get anything you possibly can about how she was put into this ship." Liara gave her a rueful smile.

"Oh you mean this?" she asked as she brought up her omni-tool that had pages and pages of information about the Normandy and more specifically EDI.

"Keelah, yes! How about you and I go take a look at the AI core?" Together they both turned and walked into the AI core which was completely silent.

Liara looked at her omni-tool and pointed to a panel. "There, that's where EDI is stored." Tali got down on the floor and pulled the panel off. She looked inside, moving some wires around until she saw found EDI's blue box, her specialized quantum computer.

"Can I see the diagram of EDI's blue box?" she asked and Liara bent down close enough so Tali could look. "Can you make it a holo?" Liara nodded and it popped out next to them, much larger so they could see the details. For a few minutes Tali sat there staring at the diagram. She pulled something out of her belt and worked it into the panel, the blue box, which was not actual a box, popped out and she carefully removed it. She scooted back on the floor and turned it in her hands.

"This is what all AI's have. I'd think for a ship that EDI's would be larger, but that's inconsequential really." She picked her tool up again, working it into the blue box. Eventually the top came off and she was able to look inside to see if there was any damage done.

"Do you see anything?" Liara whispered as if she were asking a deep secret.

"Not yet but, oh what's this?" Tali said, carefully moving some wires. She smiled behind her mask, finding the source of the problem. She looked at Liara who was watching her very carefully.

"I can fix this Liara. I know what is wrong," she said handing Liara the blue box and jumping up.

"What? Where are you going?" Liara asked, confusion on her face.

"I need to run to engineering. Adams has something that can fix this. I can fix the EDI and the Geth and hopefully their personalities won't change. This is simple, well for me anyway."

"But if you can fix this then couldn't someone who is crazy fix a Reaper?" Tali shook her head.

"No, a Reaper is made from metal yes but their essence is organic. In order to create a Reaper there has to be organics which is why they kept harvesting every fifty thousand years. A new Reaper was "born" if you want to call it that." She turned quickly and ran out of the room, her excited getting the better of her. Liara sat there for a few moments looking at the thing in her hands when Tali came rushing back inside with some strange mechanism in her hands.

"What is that?"

"I'll explain later, but for now I need you to help me. I need you to hold the blue box steady while I do this. If I accidently hit something then EDI can't be fixed at all. I don't even have to put her in the platform. I can just stick her back in the Normandy. Keelah, I hope this is the problem."

Liara watched as Tali pushed wires apart and pulled something out of the blue box. She lifted it up and out, carefully. She then took another tool, which looked similar to scalpel and lightly ran it over the mechanism she pulled out. Liara continued to watch in fascination as Tali move expertly through the process of taking and replacing items. When she was done she looked at Liara.

"I hope this works but first I need you to close up EDI. Once I put this back I need to be prepared for if this didn't work and this AI is not EDI," Tali said, sitting back on her legs. Liara nodded and went to put EDI back together which wasn't that hard. She called for Dr. Chakwas and in a matter of minutes EDI looked good as new. Tali heard Liara call to her telling her they were ready.

"Keelah, here goes nothing," Tali muttered to herself, placing the blue box back and connecting it. As soon as it was back in the lights in the Normandy went out and it sounded as if the Normandy had powered down.

There was a strange clicking noise and Tali heard the Normandy weapons power on. The lights blinked on and the Normandy powered on and off again.

"Tali? What is going on?" Joker asked over the intercom.

Garrus came bounding into the AI core and opened his mouth to speak but a voice cut him off.

"Running diagnostics, scanning. Complete," came EDI's cool, sultry voice. Garrus' mouth snapped shut and he turned around to see EDI sitting up on the table and swinging her legs over the side.

"EDI?" Liara asked tentatively. EDI looked at her.

"Is there a particular topic you'd wish to discuss Dr. T'Soni?"


	4. Memories and Flashbacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as a heads up this chapter will contain sex between Shepard and Garrus and a few memory flashbacks for Liara involving Shepard in sexual and non-sexual situations. So if you’re opposed to it then skip this chapter.

**Author’s Notes:** I hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter and will, again, enjoy this one. :-) Also this is the picture that I based Garrus' naked body off of <http://morie91.deviantart.com/art/Shirtless-Garrus-243791620> . I absolutely love it!  Please review!

 

 

 

**Disclaimer:** Bioware and EA own all the rights to the Mass Effects series. I own and claim nothing but the plot point for this story.

Reignite

Hope can drown lost in thunderous sound  
Fear can claim what little faith remains  
  
But I carry strength from souls now gone  
They won't let me give in...  
  
I will never surrender  
We'll free the Earth and sky  
Crush my heart into embers  
And I will reignite...  
I will reignite  
  
Death will take those who fight alone  
But united we can break a fate once set in stone  
  
Just hold the line until the end  
Cause we will give them hell...  
  
I will never surrender  
We'll free the Earth and sky  
Crush my heart into embers  
And I will reignite...  
I will reignite.

-Malukah, Youtube.

 

* * *

 

_“Shepard!” The voices were calling; so many voices, too many voices. They were indistinguishable. She tried to make a noise, but the only thing that had managed to escape her dry and searing throat was a deep crackling noise. She gasped at the pain, trying again but to no avail._

_She shifted her weight, lifting her good arm to feel above her but there was nothing. She futilely grasped for something, anything, but she made no contact. She heard the voices again, muffled by the concrete, scrap metal, and dirt that surrounded her like a dirty tomb._

_She tried to shimmy her broken and aching body upwards, but the pain was too great. Her legs were refusing to cooperate._

_“Shepard! Damn you answer me!” one of the voices cried out, still a considerable distance away. She squeezed her eyes, took a deep breath and with what was left of her strength she shoved the heavy object off of her legs which made dust mixed with a little dirt cascade down. She let out the breath she had been holding, panting from the searing pain radiating in, what seemed, every part of her body._

_She heard heavy pounding and the voices became clearer and much closer. Her body, her mind and her will were weak. She tried against her power to dig her way out of this tomb, but nothing came of it. She lay back panting, hearing the voices calling her name._

_“Shepard, you better not be fucking dead!” came Jack’s voice from above her. She tried calling out but her throat gave out on her and she moaned in pain, feeling something wet and hot seeping from her body when she twisted._

_“She’s over here!” came a voice, but it sounded distant. Too distant._

_“Wrex… that chunk… Grunt… me please!” the voice kept cutting in and out. Shepard found it odd, but felt herself fading to a sweet, painless place and couldn’t find enough reasons to care about it._

_“Shepard! Can you hear me Shepard?” Miranda asked, bending over into the pile of rubble that surrounded Shepard like a shroud._

_“Dammit Cheerleader, we need to get her out of there!”_

_“Agreed. Grunt, move that shit while me and Jack haul out Shepard.”_

_As soon as a there was a clear view of Shepard, Jack and Wrex bent down and quickly, but carefully pulled Shepard out of the dirty, bloody pit she was in. Frantically, Miranda checked Shepard’s pulse. It was faint, but it was there. Miranda snatched a satchel off of Jack’s back and sifted through it pulling out medical supplies that hadn’t been seen since the 21 st century. Carefully, she placed a mask on Shepard’s face and instructed one of the Krogan to squeeze it at a steady pace while she placed a needle in Shepard’s arm and started an intravenous fluid to get her body hydrated. It was a slow process and not nearly as quick as using medi-gel but it would get the job done for now. _

_Jack was at Shepard’s side ripping open a small needle and thread to stitch some of Shepard’s deeper, though not life threatening wounds while Wrex pressed a material to Shepard’s side to staunch the bleeding of giant, gaping and extremely deep hole that kept oozing blood and pus._

_“We need to get Shepard to a hospital or she’s not going to make it,” Miranda said, quickly tearing off Shepard’s armor and casting it to the side, wiping her body down with a wet towel and wrapping her in soft sterile linen. She grabbed a small flashlight and looked into Shepard’s eyes checking the dilation. Suddenly Shepard’s body started shaking and her eyes flew open. She was screaming and trying to push every one away._

_“I need you to hold her down while I give her this sedative! Dammit she’s in shock!” Miranda screamed while trying to get the needle into the IV to calm Shepard down. Once Shepard’s body slackened, her eyes closed and her pulse returned to normal Jack looked at Grunt._

_“Call the shuttle and tell them to pick us up faster than a fucking Hanar moves in water then call the Normandy and tell them that Shepard’s alive.”_

* * *

_He was very nervous. He had never dreamed that in a million years Shepard would want to be with him in any way other than comrades, squad mates and friends. The elevator to her cabin seemed to moving much too fast for him. He knew, however, that he could change his mind and just head straight back towards the gun battery but he was a Turian. He liked challenges but this particular one could potentially fuck up his entire relationship with her and he cherished it too much. Maybe it was best to head back and apologize. She would understand. He took a deep breath when the elevator opened and stood there for a few moments trying to collect himself._

_“Garrus, there are others who need to use the elevator,” came EDI’s smooth voice with a hint of a smile. He cleared his throat._

_“Of course, my apologies EDI,” he said, his voice rumbling deep within his chest and he stepped out, grasping the cheap bottle of wine that could be shared between himself and Shepard, courtesy of Mordin Solus, without any repercussions._

_He walked to the door, inhaled and exhaled before pressing the green button. The door opened with a quite whoosh and the cool air of her cabin felt good against his warm skin. He stepped in and looked around, noticing her fish tank and hearing the running water in the bathroom. He walked over and watched the fish, waiting for her to finish her shower. For a split second he thought he was early but caught the time in his visor and he was on time. He heard the water turn off a few minutes later she emerged from the shower and turned to him, a small smile on her pink lips as she crossed her arms over chest._

_“Hey. I brought wine. Best I could afford on a vigilante’s salary,” he said, holding it up to show her. He turned away and quickly made his way to the stairs, keying in something and starting music then turning back to her, lifting his arms as if asking what she thought while walking back to her beautiful fish tank. Her smile widened and she shook her head. He looked her up and down, his eyes lingering on her defined hips in the skin tight black dress she wore, accentuating her curves. “If you were a Turian, I’d be complementing your waist or fringe. So… your, ah, hair looks good. And your waist is… very supportive,” he said, feeling his heart beat faster as she casually placed her small hand on her hip, shifting her weight to her right side while smiling at him. “Hopefully that’s not offensive in human cultures. Crap. I knew I should have watched the vids. Throw me a line here Shepard.” He shook his head feeling inadequate. She lifted her hand and pointed it at him._

_“Whoa! Consider me seduced, smooth talker. Now shut up and stop worrying,” she said, her smile never faltering as she turned to stop the music._

_“I-I just… I-I’ve seen so many things go wrong, Shepard. My work at C-Sec, what happened with Sidonis…” he said, looking into her deep, bright green eyes that held nothing but patience and understanding in them. “I want something to go right. Just once. Just…” She raised her left hand and caressed the scarred side of his face, the warmth from her hand melting any worried he had that she might not reciprocate any of the feelings he had been harboring for her. He leaned towards her and she into him and they rested their foreheads together. He pulled back and cautiously placed his hand on her arm, slowly stroking it. He looked at her and her eyes fluttered closed and he instantly missed seeing the piercing green. She pulled back, her eyes opening and captured his hand in hers and tugged him down the stairs to the couch._

_She took the bottle of wine from him, opened it and poured them a glass while gesturing for him to sit down. He did and took the offered glass. She took a sip of hers before sitting down beside him closely, crossing her leg over the other at the knee and looked at him._

_“I understand what you mean Garrus,” she said, looking into her glass while she swished the red liquid around._

_“I know you do Shepard,” he said, his voice rumbling. She gave a soft laugh and looked at him, her eyes shining._

_“Garrus please,” she said, leaning into him, “I’d prefer to be called Elizabeth by you, especially in my quarters. I get tired of being called Shepard. Besides, all of my close friends and loved ones call me Elizabeth. It’s high time you do the same. And that’s an order,” she added seeing the look of protest on his face. He chuckled._

_“What kind of Turian is going to disobey an order from his commanding officer?” he asked her, leaning into her as well feeling his heart skip a beat when she placed her hand on his thigh the heat from it burning his skin in such a delicious way._

_“Not a good Turian,” she whispered. She quickly drained the rest of her wine, her cheeks flushing, and set the glass down on the coffee table before turning her upper body towards him. She looked at the glass in his hand and he did the same as she just had. He leaned back; fully aware of the pattern her soft tanned hand was drawing on his thigh and suddenly he felt the air was getting hard to breathe. He looked at her and she was looking down watching her hand on his thigh. He lifted his hand and gently touched the side of her face, making her look at him. Her tongue darted out, wetting her lips that he so desperately wanted to feel against himself. Slowly he leaned towards her, hoping that what he was about to do worked, and pressed his own inadequate lips or lack thereof, against hers feeling how soft and moist they were against his. Her eyes closed and he felt her lips open against his. He followed her lead and felt her soft, silky tongue slide over his and he let out a distinctively Turian sound, but she didn’t falter. He felt his own eyes close and basked in the immense pleasure that she was giving him._

_She trailed her fingers up his thigh, making him shiver, over his hip and up towards his stomach. He slid his hand up her arm, feeling strange dots rise on her skin, over her shoulder, down her chest reveling in the feel of her soft warm flesh above her breast, before brushing over a hardened nipple and continuing down her stomach to grasp her hip tightly, bringing her body close to his._

_Her tongue danced in his mouth and left him reeling from the surprised pleasure, but he pulled away and looked at her face. Her eyes were still closed and her breathing was faster, much like how her breath sped up in firefight, but this was different. He could tell she was enjoying this and this woman, this human woman had captured him in a way that no other woman ever had. This side of her, this womanly, feminine woman was a totally different person and he loved it for many reasons but it was mainly because he was able to cause this remarkable and beautiful change in her._

_He dipped his head towards her neck, but when his visor got in the way he impatiently and almost angrily, pulled it off and tossed it to the side, faintly hearing it hit a wall but her quiet laughter caught his attention. He looked at her and she was smiling, her cheeks flushed a soft rosy color. He turned towards her, shifting his weight and wrapped his other arm around her shoulder, effectively bringing her close to him and pressed his face into the crook of her neck smelling her soft skin, the scent of vanilla, lavender and moon shadow floating into his nostrils. Softly he ran his mouth over her neck before lightly running his tongue over her skin, feeling her body tense and pulling a soft moan from her mouth. He moved his hand from her hip and caressed her stomach while pressing his lips against her neck. Another moan, this one slightly higher pitched than the previous one was drawn out of her mouth._

_He felt her soft lips on his neck, felt them part, he eyes closing ecstasy as she opened her mouth and sucked on his skin, running her tongue over him drawing out a loud, encouraging Turian noise from deep within his chest. He was semi aware of her hand running over his chest and down his stomach. His stomach muscles clenched, his body tensed, and he wrenched his head away from her neck, clutching her hip in his hand as she rubbed her hand over his severely hardened and swollen erection. Her mouth pulled away from his neck and her lips trailed lightly up, over his mandibles that twitched in pleasure, over his cheeks and up to his ear._

_“I did my research too,” she said quietly, her voice deep and throaty, which was the sexiest thing Garrus had ever heard in his life. He tried saying something, but nothing came out except a moan as she ran her hand over his length, stroking him. He felt her fingers fumbling at the waist of his pants and he opened his eyes, putting his hand on hers shaking his head._

_“Over there,” he said, and pointed in the direction of her bed. She gave him a smile and pushed herself away from him._

_As he was getting ready to stand she placed her hand on his shoulder and shook her head. She put her arms behind her back and he heard the zipper slide down which made his mouth water. He wanted to see what she looked like. Sure, he had done his research with help from Mordin and found that human females didn’t look that much different from Turian or Asari females when it came to anatomy, but seeing her would be different. He also knew that his anatomy wasn’t that different from human males based off the incredibly clinical videos Mordin had sent him._

_He watched as she slid the thin, tight black fabric off her body slowly. Her eyes were gleaming, the green of them was so bright and beautiful he felt it was difficult to look away from them until the fabric slid off her shoulders and his eyes snapped back to her tanned skin. The dress seemed to melt off of her as it slid off her breasts, around her waist, over her hips, and floated down to the floor over her legs. He slowly looked at her body, taking in all the information of her. Her breasts were perfectly shaped, her areolas were the same color as her lips, and her nipples were hard and puckered. Her stomach was flat, with a hint of abs. She was beautiful to him when no woman ever was before. She certainly did not have the largest breasts, but they were certainly not small either. To him her body was perfect._

_She bent over to remove her heels and stood back up and looked at him expectantly. He stood slowly from the couch, his erection almost painful now and he couldn’t take his eyes from her body. He hastily took off his jacket and shirt, and quickly tossed aside his pants and boots discarding them haphazardly and looked at her face. There was some shock but she covered it quickly._ “She didn’t do all her research apparently,” _he thought. He wasn’t sure what she had expected and suddenly felt nervous. He rubbed the side of his face and shifted his weight._

_“Is there uh, something wrong?” he asked, dropping his hands to rest on his hips. She brought her eyes up from his torso to his face and walked towards him, placing her hands on his shoulders, caressing him._

_“Definitely not,” she replied, sliding her hand down his pectoral plates, his partial rib plates, and down over his abdomen which was smooth, hardened skin under her fingers. She traced the outline of his six pack and let her hands fall down to the base of his shaft, making his body jerk with pleasure. “I just expected you to have plating on all parts of your body. Your body is more Human than I thought.” She let her hands trail over his body as she walked backwards to the bed and sat on it, crossing her legs waiting patiently for him._

_The side of her mouth lifted up and she scooted herself up on the bed and lay down as he walked towards her, running his eyes over her body. The light from her fish tank and armory cast blue, white and orange tones across her body and he watched as her chest rose and fell with her rhythmic breathing. She opened her legs as he came closer, reaching her arms up as he came closer and he moved between her legs and dipped his head down. She pulled his head down hers and pressed her lips against his, opening her mouth and sliding her tongue into his mouth and his eyes slide shut. He let his hand caress her side, feeling those strange bumps on her skin again, running his fingers down to the curve of her hip and back up the roundness of her breast._

_Bravely, his ran his finger over her hardened nipple and was pleasantly surprised with her reaction. She moaned, pushing her hot, wet tongue deeper into his mouth while arching her back, pressing her soft, warm naked body against his hard, angular one. He pulled his face away from hers, feeling her slightly hardened stomach pressing against his erection, and trailed his mouth and tongue over her jaw, down her neck, inhaling her fragrance, and over her collar bone. When he reached her breast, he looked up at her and she was looking at him through her dark red eyelashes and nodded._

_Slowly he ran his tongue over the hardened peak, feeling the difference in skin type. Her eyes snapped shut and she moaned, her hips moved upwards toward his body and she ran her hands over his back, across his plates. He sucked her nipple into his mouth, rolling his tongue around it. He pulled away from it and gave the same attention to the other one before licking his way down her abdomen, stopping at the divot in her belly, sliding his tongue into it, feeling her legs close around him as she let out another moan._

_He made his way down to her womanhood and he paused for a moment, suddenly unsure of himself. The information he had gotten from the extranet said that Human women, much like the Asari women he’d been with, liked oral sex and even Mordin had confirmed. She looked like the Asari except for the soft patch of hair on her pubic bone. Her legs closed abruptly and he looked up at Shepard. Her eyes were full of worry and her brows were drawn down over her eyes and she was covering her breasts._

_“If you’ve decided otherwise Garrus, you can tell me,” she said softly. Suddenly he felt like an idiot, but he looked at her and realized that his hesitation had made her self-conscious which was not his intention. There were no words he could say to her to describe how absolutely beautiful and perfect she was to him, though it struck him as odd how this usually sexually assured, confident, strong woman seemed to be worried about her body in front of him. Perhaps, her normal attitude was a front but he would dwell on that later. Instead, he ran his hand over her thigh and gave a soft, rumbling laugh._

_“No, I haven’t. I want this, more than you know. I-I just was unsure if you’d enjoy what I want to do to, ah, you,” he finished lamely. She smiled and let her legs fall open once more._

_“Trust me, I like what you want to do to me,” she replied. He nodded and she laid her head back down, watching him. He looked back at her womanhood and ran a finger over her and heard her take in a deep breath. He slid his finger between her warm folds and felt the moisture there. He licked and nipped at the inside of her thigh, while rubbing the soft nub he found and remembered that it was called a clitoris and was supposed to bring her immense pleasure when touched softly and not rubbed to hard. She moaned loudly, turning her head to the side, her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and he felt his cock twitch. Slowly he increased his pace on her clitoris until she was wet and glistening before him, before removed his finger and was given a frustrated moan from her. He replaced his finger with his tongue, spreading her lips and pressed his finger against her opening, looking up at her to make sure he was doing everything right._

_Her breathing was quick and raspy, her moans getting louder and he pushed his finger inside of her feeling her soft, silky, wet and warm inside clench around him. He was rewarded with a cry of pleasure and her hips bucked under his tongue. He slid his finger in and out of her, while his tongue danced over her clitoris. He felt a strange ridge inside of her and rubbed his finger against it and she practically threw him off of her, saying his name and he decided that she_ really _liked that. He pressed his free hand on her stomach to keep her from throwing him off and continued his ministrations._

_Her breathing became choppy and she swallowed, moaning loudly, the sound echoing off the walls and said his name. She turned her head to the other side, her hand grasping his fringe and said, “I’m so close Garrus.” He smiled inwardly and increased the speed and pressure until her body began convulsing, her pussy clenching and squeezing his finger tightly and she cried out telling him she was coming. He pulled himself away and moved up her body. He wanted to be inside of her so badly that he was aching. He pressed himself against her opening and her eyes flew open. She pressed a hand to his chest and gave him a devilish smile._

_“Not quite yet Vakarian. It is_ my _turn to please you,” she said and sat up on her knees. He lifted one of his brow plates. She showed him where to sit on the edge of the bed and she quite ungracefully, it was Shepard anyway, got off the bed and went to kneel in front of him, her eyes looking at his cock appreciatively. He suddenly got her meaning and shook his head._

_“I don’t know if this is such a good idea, Shepard… uh, Elizabeth,” he said awkwardly, correcting himself at the look on her face._

_“Stop talking,” she said. He shut his mouth went he felt her hands on him, sliding his eyes closed. She ran her hand up and down his shaft, pausing at the head shortly to massage it gently then stroked him again. He let out a sound that came from deep within his chest and dug his fingers into the bed sheets. His eyes opened when he felt something hot and wet touch his cock and looked down at her. She was sliding her tongue over the head of his cock and down his shaft. It was definitely getting hard to breathe as he continued to watch her. This was_ definitely _something new to him._

_He watched as she opened her mouth and took him into it, sliding her mouth down his shaft and back up, sucking lightly. His legs twitched and he felt back onto his elbows, leaning his head back and letting out a long and slow guttural groan as he felt the head of his cock touch the back of her throat. He lifted his head to continue watching as her mouth did things to him that he thought was not possible._

_She sucked on the head harder and stroked his cock quickly then ran her tongue down the length of him, before doing it again. Every time she slid him insider her mouth, she sucked him harder and he was finding it increasing more difficult to not fist his hand in her hair and thrust his cock into her mouth over and over until he finished inside of her mouth. “Fuck Elizabeth,” he said.  He felt himself getting too close and he pushed her off, sitting up quickly._

_“No, not yet. I want you before I finish,” he rasped out and she smiled, running her tongue over her lips effectively turning him on even more. She pushed him back onto the bed, laying him flat and climbed on top of him, her soft mouth parted slightly._

_She rested her hands on his chest, swinging her left leg to one side of him and looked at him. He placed his hands on her hips, gripping them tightly and watched as she slowly lowered herself onto him. Her eyes closed and she moaned as he slid into her. She was so tight, so wet and so damn warm. She lifted herself above him with her thighs, sliding him in and out of her. His breathing was coming hard and fast from the pleasure she was giving him and from the sight of watching her on top of him, working his cock in and out of her delicious pussy while her breasts bounced softly._

_He leaned up and took on of her nipples in his mouth while his finger found her clitoris again eliciting a strangled cry from her throat and a deep rumbling animalistic sound from him as her pussy clenched tightly around his cock. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her against him while his tongue lapped at her nipple and his finger rubbed her clitoris. She pushed him back against the bed and began a rocking motion on top of him, her moans getting louder as she said his name._

_“Elizabeth,” he panted, loving the sight of her above him. He didn’t stop rubbing her clitoris and her rocking became frantic as he thrust his hips up towards her, hitting that strange ridge with his cock he felt earlier with his finger which warranted a loud cry of ecstasy from her as she touched her nipples while he slid his finger between her lips and over her clitoris, over and over again. “Garrus I’m-I’m” but her words were cut off with an intake of breathe and a sudden barrage of curse words mixed with loud moans as her pussy squeezed his cock so hard he thought he was fixing to come just from watching and feeling her he orgasm around him.  He watched as her body convulsed and she threw her head back in the throes of passion and caressed her chest and stomach._

_When she was finished he flipped them over with him on top. “I want you like this,” he said and disengaged himself from her, turning her over onto her stomach and pulling her soft ass up. The extranet said Humans called it “doggy style” and it was supposed to hit that strange ridge of hers again. She turned her head to look at him, while groping for the headboard and nodded._

_He plunged himself into her slick wetness and the position made her tighter than she already was. “Spirits, Elizabeth,” he choked out as she pressed her ass against him, taking him in deeply. He groaned and it mixed with her moans. He watched as she used her left arm to keep her propped up while she used her right hand to rub her clitoris as he slid in and out of her quickly, hitting her ridge and closing his eyes in immeasurable pleasure. She was crying out saying his name and he gripped her hips tightly._

_“Harder Garrus,” she ordered and he gladly obliged, pounding into her, leaning forward and placing his hand on the headboard next to hers as he thrust his cock in and out of her quickly, deeply._

_“Fuck,” he moaned thrusting into her harder and harder every time she cried out. He couldn’t help himself as he grabbed a handful of her hair with his hand and pulled her head back and to the side, exposing her neck. Her breathing was becoming frantic again and he knew she was close once again. He grabbed her hip and pounded into her furiously, hitting her ridge until she started coming around him._

_He felt himself lose control as she orgasmed around him and let out a sound that reverberated throughout his body and vibrated hers as they were joined, he felt like fireworks were exploding in their bodies and he leaned forward feeling his seed spill into her hot pussy as she convulsed around him, bending towards her neck, her cries of pleasure fading as he opened his mouth and bit her, feeling her blood flow into his mouth. He felt his soul try to twine with hers, her very essence trying to became his but he released himself, all of himself into her, partially claiming her as his._

_He pulled back, feeling the aftershocks of the best sex he’d ever have leave his body, but still feeling her pussy pulsing around his still hard cock, and opened his eyes._

_Everything suddenly seemed quiet and she was very still, her breathing was slow. He saw his mark and realized what he had just done and how she wouldn’t understand. Suddenly, he felt fear, worry, and embarrassment flood through him. Panic slithered through is body and he jerked away from her and off the bed and sat down in the chair at her desk, placing his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall into his hands. He couldn’t look at her, not after what just happened. He heard her move on the bed, the sound of her omni-tool turning on, and the soft murmur of the medi-gel being applied to her neck. He heard the sheets rustle, heard her feet hit the floor, and heard the sound of her putting something on._

_He jumped when he felt her hand touch his fringe and jerked away from her touch as if she had burned him._

_“What just happened?” she asked him softly. He shook his head, refusing to look at him._

_“I-I’m sorry Shepard,” he said quietly. “I lost control and I did something that I shouldn’t have.” He felt, rather than heard, her sit on the floor in front of him._

_“Look at me Garrus,” she said forcefully. He lifted his head and let his arms fall. She was tilting her head, peering at him with nothing but curiosity. It made him feel worse. How could she be so damn understanding all the fucking time? “Tell me what happened. I feel the need to understand.” He sighed and looked away from her soft green eyes, rubbing his forehead._

_“It’s extremely difficult to explain to someone who isn’t Turian,” he began, but stopped and sighed. She smiled and placed her hand on his knee._

_“I think I can keep up,” she replied._

_“Let me at least put some pants on,” he said and stood, turning away from her. He found his pants near the foot of the bed and slipped them on while she went and sat on the couch. He turned back and went to sit next to her. He sighed and looked at her for a moment before looking away._

_“Does it happen to be part of the bonding process?” she asked and he jerked to look at her. She laughed and smiled again. “I told you I can keep up.”_

_“How did you even know about that?” She shrugged her shoulders and crossed her legs._

_“Does it matter really? I know Turians have a bonding process but that’s about as much as I know,” she said honestly._

_“Yes actually it is part of the bonding process, but know that I never meant to do that with you, Shepard,” he began. Her eyebrows flew up and he cursed himself. “No that’s not what I meant- I mean that- fuck.” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him._

_“Then what did you mean? I’m curious, Vakarian,” she tossed back at him, pointing at him. He looked at her. She might not act like he had hurt her feelings, but he could tell that he had but she was a damn good actor, better than he was anyway._

_“I meant_ Elizabeth _,” he enunciated her name clearly for effect. “That I never meant to try to bond with you without your express consent. I literally took advantage of you. I want to be bonded with you, but I know that you have history with others. When a Turian bonds with someone it is not much different than how an Asari bonds with their partner. Since you’re not fully committed to this relationship the bond isn’t as strong as it normally would have been if you were. If you were with Liara again she would know that someone had attempted to bond with you, she would read it in your body when you meld with her or embrace eternity as they call it,” he continued carefully. He looked at her and her eyebrows were drawn down and she was looking away at her fish. He swallowed nervously. She rubbed the side of her face and glanced at him, but resumed looking at her fish._

_“You think I’m not fully committed to this relationship? You think that I’m going to go running back into Liara’s arms?” she repeated his words softly. He looked down at his knees and turned to face her._

_“I know that you care about Liara is all that I am saying,” he said, touching her shoulder and trying to get her to look at him. “Will you look at me Elizabeth?” She turned her gaze on him and her face, as well as her eyes were devoid of any emotion and he didn’t like that. That was not a good thing when she masked her feelings. “Dammit,” he muttered and rubbed his face with his hand. “Look I-” he started but Shepard cut him off._

_“I want to know how you feel. I want you to tell me what you think I’m doing with you and what you’re afraid my feelings are,” she said softly, still looking at him with the flat emotionless stoic face. He paused, trying to read anything from her but came up blank. He was going to be honest._

_“I feel that I care more about you than you do me. I feel like you’re in love with Liara but are currently with me because she’s not here. I feel that you care about me, but only as a friend. I feel like an ass and an idiot for doing what I did to you. I feel like, if given the chance, you’d go back to Liara. I know what you did with her on the Normandy, EDI and Joker have big mouths. I lost control and tried bonding with you because I love you and I don’t feel that you love me back,” he said quietly. The air was so thick you could have sliced it with a knife. She sighed, closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index fingers, her forehead creasing. She swallowed, removed her fingers and looked up at him, her eyes a clear, bright green. She placed her hand on the side of his face and caressed him._

_“I’m sorry Garrus,” she said swallowing. He felt his stomach clench and a strange tingling went through his body. He felt like a Collector had just ripped his heart out of his chest and kicked it across Palaven. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that, but none of that is true. I mean, yes Liara did come aboard the Normandy but that was before you and I. That was after Horizon where we met up with Kaiden that bastard,” she said, pouring herself a glass of wine and checking the time. He sat there, listening but definitely confused. She took a sip of her wine and continued. “I care about Liara, but we can never work. I realized that soon after she left and went back to her ship on Hagalaz. Please believe me when I say this Garrus,” she said and turned to him, reaching out to hold his hand. “I do care about you, very much. I would not have spent this night with you otherwise. My ego is even stroked that you lost control and tried to bond with me. The reason you might feel that I’m not fully committed to this and perhaps why the bonding affect me as well as it should have is because we’re fixing to take on the Collector Base. I’m going to blow it sky high. I’m worried, I’m frustrated, I’m hopeful and I’m scared shit less. I died once already and that was painful. I remember everything about when the Normandy got blown up, but I don’t want to die again despite everything. I hope that we’ll all make it off the Collector Base and live to fight another day,” she said, draining the rest of her wine. She looked at him and him back at her. He looked down and stared at her hand in his. Squeezing his hand, he gave her a Turian smile._

_“I can live with that,” he said deeply and leaned forward to press his mouth against hers._

_“Siha, our ETA to the Omega-4 Relay is 45 minutes,” Thanes voice said, crackling over the intercom. Garrus pulled back and looked at her with his brow plates raised._

_“Thank you Thane,” she responded and the intercom crackled off._

_“Siha?” Garrus questioned._

_“It’s Drell for one of the warrior-angels of the Goddess Arashu, fierce in wrath. A tenacious protector,” she answered, smiling at him._

_“Should I be worried about the assassin?” he asked, standing up to grab his undershirt and jacket. She laughed._

_“No, not all Garrus,” she murmured before getting up herself and walking towards her armory to pull out her armor._

_“Good then if I die on the Collector Base I’ll die a very happy Turian.”_

Garrus opened his eyes and looked over at the blinking console sleepily under the map of where the Turian forces had been displayed. He sighed and sat up, grabbing his visor and put it on. He turned on his omni-tool and looked for recent messages but there were none. It was early, only around 0321 by Earth times. He stood up and looked at the picture on his desk where is sniper rifle was lying.

“Spirits, I miss you Shepard. Come back to me soon,” he murmured. 

 

* * *

 

Liara stood there at her computer watching the rapidly blinking light on her omni-tool. Truth be told, she was much too afraid to answer the incoming call. She suspected that it contained only more bad news. Shepard was running out of time and the more time passed the less likely it was that she would be found alive. Instead she turned to her terminal which held messages between people from all around the galaxy. She scrolled down and clicked the message open. She remembered this conversation between herself and Tali. Tali was worried about her after the attack on Thessia but had somehow managed to bring up whether or not Liara and Shepard would become an item again. Liara sighed remembering the conversation she had had with Shepard after the Mars archives.

_She heard the door to her private cabin open and she turned to see Shepard stepping in and looking around before turning to her._

_“Looks like you brought more than just that drone from your ship,” Shepard said with a smile. Liara looked at her, her eyebrow raised._

_“A few things were necessary. I’d be a very silent Shadow Broker without data feeds,” she said._

_“So you have access to your resources?_

_“What I can get. We’ll need it to research this Prothean Device,” she said crossing the room to her desk, sitting down and brought up a blueprint of the device on the screen. “Until we understand precisely what it does, it’s far too dangerous to use.”_

_“It’d be nice to know that we’re not children playing around with a loaded gun,” Shepard said, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at her._

_“Exactly, but this will be difficult ever for us,” she agreed standing up and walking towards Shepard. She took her hands in hers and looked down at their joined fingers. “If something happens on a mission… if either one of us are hurt. I very much enjoyed my time aboard the Normandy Shepard, but let’s be honest. That was more than half a year ago. I know that you and Garrus grew close. Is that… in the past? Should I forget there was anything between us?” She looked up into Shepard’s eyes, gauging for anything but all she got in return was a blank stare from those green eyes that she loved so much. Shepard pulled her hands away and nervously ran her fingers through her short dark, red hair._

_“A lot has happened since then Liara. I don’t think we’d work anymore,” she said softly her eyes full of apology. Liara felt her heart drop into her stomach and took a breath._

_“Really? I-Thank you… for letting me know,” she replied as she turned away, not being able to look at the woman who just broke her heart._

_“I think it’s best for both us,” Shepard said, reaching out to touch her arm. Liara walked towards her terminal avoiding the hand that Shepard offered and turned her back to her._

_“Of course. Well… anyway. I should get back down to business. There’s a lot to do if we’re to discover what the Protheans left us,” Liara said, typing at her computer. She heard Shepard sigh and begin to walk back towards the door but she couldn’t keep herself from asking the question she desperately wanted the answer to. “Elizabeth. I-I have to ask. Why do you think it’s best for both us?” She turned around and leaned against the console watching Shepard. Shepard stopped and glanced at her before turning towards her and crossing her arms over her chest. She was thinking, looking down at the floor. When she looked back at her, her eyes were a deep dark green._

_“There are a few reasons. After you came to visit the Normandy and after the conversation we had, I started thinking about our future or if we’d even have one,” she said, leaning against the wall. “I thought about what you said and how you are only one hundred and nine. I’m thirty or at least I think I’m thirty. With my reconstruction I’m not sure if I should count those two years that I died. You’re going to live to be a thousand. I’ll be lucky if I make it to one hundred and fifty, but again with the cybernetics it’s possible I can live double the average life span assuming I survive this war. I can’t allow myself to be a burden to you, that’s not who I am,” she said pushing away from the wall and going to sit in a chair, leaning back and peering at Liara. Liara looked down then back at Shepard._

_“You’d never be a burden to me Elizabeth. I love you,” she said going to stand in front of her. Shepard shook her head._

_“You don’t understand. You’re going to stay beautiful until the day that you die Liara. Humans don’t have that luxury,” she said, her voice taking an angry edge._

_“I’ll always think you’re beautiful Elizabeth,” Liara countered, laying her hand on Shepard’s shoulder which she shook off._

_“Let me tell you how we age, because as far as I can tell you have no idea. When we get older we lose certain functions. Being able to go to the bathroom by ourselves, we can’t hold things anymore, we lose our memories, our minds go to places and sometimes there is no coming back from that. Our bodies stop functioning correctly. I don’t want you to have to change my fucking diaper Liara. I don’t want you to have see me when I lose lucidity and go back to thinking that I’m still fighting the Reapers. I don’t want you to have to feed me, it’s degrading,” she said her voice getting quiet as she looked down at the floor._

_Liara stood there watching her, her heart aching for her. She felt her eyes stinging and she blinked to stop the tears from falling. Shepard sighed and rubbed her face. “Shepard,” she whispered._

_“No. Listen to me. When we get older we can’t walk without a wheelchair or something to help us along. Our hair turns gray and thins. Our skin dulls in color, our eyes dull, our skin sags, it wrinkles. I can’t let myself be with you and force you to become my nurse. You’d be unhappy. You’d be sad watching me waste away year after year, watching my mind go, watching me forget all the wonderful memories that we shared together. I might not be able to remember our children’s names or our grand children’s names. I would be miserable and so would you. The age difference matters Liara. I can’t do that to you. I love you too much to put you in that situation,” she said softly. Liara swiped at the tears that were threatening to fall, trying not to picture the future Shepard had envisioned but her brain betrayed her. She saw what Shepard saw, for only a moment, but it was enough._

_She saw herself, still young, ripe and beautiful taking care of a withered old woman who had once saved the galaxy over a hundred years past sitting in a chair by a window overlooking a river. She was mumbling something and Liara went to her, placing her hand on hers, trying to hear what she was saying. The old woman looked at her, her once bright green eyes faded to a mossy green, her skin sallow and white. She saw her lips move and bent down to listen. “It’s time to let me go,” the old woman whispered and Liara pulled back, her eyes going wide shaking her head._

_Liara snapped out of it, felt her cheeks wet with her tears and looked at Shepard. “It doesn’t have to be that way. I could go with you,” she said, pleading with her. Shepard shook her head and looked at her sadly._

_“No. I’ve made up my mind. I don’t want you to waste years mourning me after I die when I’m old. I want you to move on now and find someone with a comparable age. Share memories with them. Love them, cherish them,” Shepard said, reaching up to wipe away her tears. She knelt to the ground in front of Shepard, laying her head on Shepard’s lap choking out sobs as Shepard rubbed her back, trying to soothe away the hurt and pain. Liara tried to breathe, but it came out choppy._

_“I-I love y-you Shepard,” she choked out, wrapping her arms around Shepard’s knees. She felt Shepard take hold of her shoulders and lift her up, forcing her to look at her._

_“Take a deep breath for me, good. Another one,” Shepard whispered, looking at her, her green eyes piercing into Liara’s blue ones. “Come on, you need to lie down.” She stood up and took Liara’s hand in hers pulling her to her feet. Liara took in a deep breath and nodded. She felt Shepard lead her to the bed. She sat down and kicked off her shoes, scooching up onto the bed and lying down in the fetal position watching as Shepard got onto the bed next to her and rubbed her shoulder._

_“Stay with me,” she whispered, capturing Shepard’s hand in hers. Shepard sighed and shook her head._

_“I can’t. I have to go see the Primarch,” she said. “Try to sleep.” Liara nodded, biting on her lip to try to stop the tears and watched as Shepard walked out of the room._

Liara looked away from the conversation between her and Tali to her bed. She walked over to grab the data pad, sitting down feeling the exhaustion in her body. She ran her hand over her face and thought about how Shepard had comforted her after Thessia. It was not planned and Liara had had no intention of it going as far as it had, but it had helped. Shepard had known she needed it and would suffer the consequences with Garrus later.

_She was lying on the bed thinking about Thessia. It was nice of Shepard to have come and talked to her afterwards. To get her ass moving to help the refugees and anyone else that she could possibly help. Watching her planet burn and fall was one of the most difficult things she had ever had to deal with and now she knew how Shepard must feel about Earth. She heard a knock on her door and sat up; telling whoever it was that it was open. Shepard walked in and shut it behind her._

_“Oh, Shepard,” she said, sitting up fully and crossing her legs. “I want to thank you for coming to me earlier. I was able to set up resources and send out agents to help as many as they could.”_

_“Good. I’m glad you’re able to help,” Shepard said, smiling softly at her and coming to sit on the foot of her bed. “Are you feeling any better?”_

_“No, not really. I now fully understand how difficult it must have been for you to leave Earth Shepard,” she said, moving some files to the floor. Shepard shrugged and scooted up on the bed to lean against the headboard, crossing her feet at the ankles._

_“It’s the price of being a commanding officer and being ordered to leave. I’ve had to make a lot of difficult decisions,” she replied quietly, looking at her._

_“We’ll get back to Earth Shepard.” She took Shepard’s hand in hers and squeezed, smiling at her. “Is there something you needed?” Shepard shook her head._

_“No. I just came to check in on you and escape the massive card game in the lounge though I did have a few drinks,” she said, smiling. Liara gave a small laugh and looked at her. She looked down, the image of her home world burned into her brain._

_“This was is unimaginable. The Reapers just… they don’t hesitate at all,” she said, feeling the familiar stinging of tears behind her eyes. She drew in a deep, shaky breath. “All of those innocent people. Those families and children being slaughtered back there Shepard it’s…” But she couldn’t finish. Her voice stopped and the tears fell. Shepard pulled her against her into a hug, holding her tight rubbing circles on her back._

_“Hey, hey. Come here,” Shepard said. Liara wrapped her arms around Shepard’s back and clung to her, sobbing on her shoulder. When she quieted she pulled back and looked into Shepard’s soft, liquid eyes. Hesitantly she leaned forward and pressed her lips against Shepard’s, her tears falling silent over her cheeks and splashing down onto her clothes. She felt Shepard hesitate for a second before responding, sliding her hand over Liara’s shoulder and down her side._

_Under Shepard’s soft lips, she opened her mouth and ran her tongue over Shepard’s bottom lip, moaning when she responded. She felt Shepard’s hand, slide over her hip and her tongue glide over her own. Hungrily she drank in everything that Shepard was offering, opening her mouth wider to accommodate Shepard’s questing tongue. She pressed her hands against Shepard’s shoulder and lightly pushed her back onto the bed, stripping herself out of her clothes while she watched as the woman in front of her discarded her own clothes._

_Shepard reached out a thin hand to Liara and she placed hers in the hand offered and let Shepard pull her down to her side facing Shepard. She ran her hand over Shepard’s side, feeling the soft swell of her breast, the gentle curving of her waist and the velvet sloping of her hip. Again she pressed her mouth to Shepard’s, moaning as their tongues twined together battling for submission and domination._

_Shepard moved and was on top of her, running her soft hands over breasts, her stomach and down between her legs. Liara tossed her head back into the pillow, lying flat on her back, running her fingers through Shepard’s hair and down her arms as Shepard kissed her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Her blue hands ran down Shepard’s tanned shoulders and over the mounding of flesh to the hardened peaks of her nipples drawing out a soft moan from Shepard. The feeling of Shepard’s parted lips drawing her skin into the woman’s mouth, made Liara’s eyes close and whispered her name. Shepard pulled away from her neck and kissed her way down to Liara’s large, supple breasts. She took a deep blue nipple in her mouth and Liara moaned, pressing her hips up against Shepard while her own fingers plucked at Shepard’s nipples, making her groan around Liara’s nipple._

_Shepard kissed her way back up to Liara’s mouth, pressing her hips against Liara’s before continuing down the other side and giving as much attention to her other breast. Slowly she made her way down Liara’s body, drawing moans and soft whispers from her as she continued touching her._

_Liara could feel that was already wet by the time Shepard was down far enough and felt like the world exploded around her as Shepard pressed her tongue against her clitoris. Liara let out a loud moan saying, “Elizabeth, it feels so…” She took a deep breath when Shepard sucked on her, lifting her hips to her mouth saying her name over and over again._

_She opened her eyes to watch Shepard as she slid a finger inside of her, while sucking and licking on her hot spot making her breathing speed up and words got stuck in her throat. She threaded her fingers into Shepard’s hair, while she ran her free hand over her stomach and up to her breast, rubbing her nipples. “Elizabeth!” she cried, feeling herself at the brink of ecstasy. She looked into Shepard’s eyes as Shepard brought her to completion, her hips bucking and her moans filling the room. She felt Shepard kiss up her body, stopping to pay attention to her nipples before sucking on her neck._

_Liara turned her head and captured Shepard’s mouth in hers, turning them over so Shepard was now on the receiving end. Slowly she kissed her, sliding her tongue over Shepard’s loving the sounds she was making. She let her hand wander down her body to her pussy, sliding a slender blue finger in between her lips and was rewarded with an intake of breath from the woman under her._

_She rubbed her own breasts against Shepard’s, while gently running her finger in circles of her clitoris. Shepard closed her eyes and moaned softly, clenching the sheets in her hands spreading her legs wider for Liara._

_Liara bent and captured one of her rosy nipples in her mouth as she slid her finger inside of Shepard, feeling how slick and wet she was. Shepard lifted her hips and said her name, as she ran her hand down the back of Liara’s neck. Liara used her tongue to trail down her body, before softly running her tongue over Shepard’s clitoris as she inserted another finger drawing a sharp, lusty cry from Shepard’s throat._

_She moved her fingers in and out of her at a steady pace, while sucking on her clitoris enjoying how Shepard’s hips bucked and she said her name, telling her that she was close. She stopped and pulled away, climbing back up Shepard’s body._

_Shepard looked at her, with her eyebrows raised. “I want to feel you against me,” she explained and tugged Shepard into the position that she wanted. They both moaned when their parts touched each other, both slick from each of their wetness. Liara’s eyes slid shut and they rubbed their bodies against each other, touching each other._

_She felt Shepard’s fingers playing with her nipples so she reciprocated. Liara opened her eyes feeling herself close again she looked at Shepard. They pressed against each other tightly, the bodies moving frantically._

_“Liara!” Shepard cried and Liara watched as Shepard’s orgasm took a hold of her. Not being able to fight it any longer she let herself go and came with her, sliding her tongue into Shepard’s mouth and their bodies reached completion together. The fell back on the bed, both feeling the aftershocks of their love making. Liara took Shepard’s hand in hers and turned towards her._

_“Elizabeth… I never meant- I mean I’m- what about Garrus?” Shepard propped herself up on her side with her arm and looked at her, sighing._

_“You needed this and I was here for you. I’ll worry about Garrus,” she said and turned away to start getting dressed._

Liara opened her eyes, feeling as if that was so long ago. From what she heard however, Garrus had taken quiet well and had been understanding. Though he did make Liara promise that it would never happen again. Liara smiled, but turned her attention to her omni-tool, her smile fading. It was now or never that she answer this call and get it over with. It was better to have any news than no news at all. She took a deep breath and pressed the answer button.

“Liara?” Grunt’s face appeared.

“Is there any news?” she asked, standing up and walking towards her console.

“We found Shepard Liara. She’s alive.” 


	5. Shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter, and also since I disagreed with the romance scene between Garrus and Shepard at the end, I have changed the scene. I took part of the scene with Liara, the cracked helmet part, and added it to Garrus and Shepard’s last night together before everything happened. I think, for me, that the cracked helmet should have been shared with Garrus. They were comrades first then lovers.

**Author’s Note:** I really hoped that everyone enjoyed the last smut filled chapter, it was interesting to write. So, please enjoy and leave me a review! 

**Disclaimer:** Bioware and EA own all the rights to the Mass Effects series. I own and claim nothing but the plot point for this story. 

 

 

 

Look around  
There's no one but you and me  
Right here and now  
The way it was meant to be  
There's a smile on my face  
Knowing that together everything that's in our way  
We're better than alright  
  
Walking between the raindrops  
Riding the aftershock beside you  
Off into the sunset  
Living like there's nothing left to lose  
Chasing after gold mines  
Crossing the fine lines we knew  
Hold on and take a breath  
I'll be here every step  
Walking between the raindrops with you  
  
Take me now  
The world's such a crazy place  
When the walls come down  
You'll know I'm here to stay  
There's nothing I would change  
Knowing that together everything that's in our way  
We're better than alright  
  
Walking between the raindrops  
Riding the aftershock beside you  
Off into the sunset  
Living like there's nothing left to lose  
Chasing after gold mines  
Crossing the fine lines we knew  
Hold on and take a breath  
I'll be here every step  
Walking between the raindrops with you  
  
There's a smile on my face  
Knowing that together everything that's in our way  
We're better than alright  
  
Walking between the raindrops  
Riding the aftershock beside you  
Off into the sunset  
Living like there's nothing left to lose  
Chasing after gold mines  
Crossing the fine lines we knew  
Hold on and take a breath  
I'll be here every step  
Walking between the raindrops with you  
Between the raindrops with you

Between the raindrops with you

Lifehouse ft. Natasha Bedingfield

* * *

 

Jack paced up and down in the small space of the waiting area of the hospital while Wrex stood against the wall watching her, his nerves making him jittery and Jack’s pacing did little to help him.

“Can you stop that pacing for just one minute,” he said through gritted teeth. She turned to him angrily and opened her mouth to say something rude when the door opened and Miranda walked out, rolling her head and stretching working out the kinks and sore muscles. They turned to her quickly.

“How is she?” Jack asked, her face set with worry. Miranda looked at her and sighed.

“She is going to make it, but it was certainly close. Much closer than I would have liked. I don’t know what Shepard did on the Citadel, but it knocked out a few of her cybernetics. Good thing I’m smart enough to know how they work and I was able to “jump start” them,” she answered, looking at everyone. “Shepard is in recovery and currently sleeping.”

“How bad was it?” Miranda looked at Wrex and gave him a small, sad smile.

“It was bad. Her right arm was broken so I fixed the damage and put a cast on her. She has a lot of stitches, but she’ll heal fairly quickly especially now that I have her cybernetics working. It’ll be a few weeks before she is truly back to one hundred percent, but it’s not her body I’m worried about.” Jack gave her a derisive look and snorted. “I’m not kidding. She woke up again after we had gotten her back into the operating room and starting screaming at us that we were indoctrinated. I won’t know anything until she’s awake again and coherent enough to go through a psych evaluation.”

“Make sense,” Wrex said quietly. “After all the shit that Shepard has been through it would make sense that she’s finally cracked. Garrus and Liara both said that she had been having nightmares. Shepard didn’t exactly tell them what they were about, but even I could see that she was bending from the pressure of the war.” Miranda took a deep breath.

“I should get back in there with her in case she wakes up. I need to check her vitals. Any word on where the Normandy is?” she asked, turning to Grunt.

“Still a few weeks out, but Tali fixed EDI from what I was told. Word is EDI is trying to get the ship to go as fast as she can,” he replied, looking at the notes on his omni-tool. She nodded.

“Okay well, as soon as Shepard is awake I’ll have someone let you know. Once I’ve decided that she’s stable enough then you can see her,” Miranda said and turned away.

Miranda pushed open the door and headed down the hallway, turning at the end and quietly opened the door to Shepard’s room which was guarded by Alliance soldiers. The quiet beeping from the monitors was a relief as she walked up to Shepard’s side, looking down at her sleeping face. She pressed her hand against her forehead checking for a fever and was glad when there was none. Already her body was healing. Some of her cuts were already a faint pink against her tanned skin, but her color was still pale. Her freckles stood out against the contrast.

Miranda watched as her chest rose and fell with each breath she took. She laughed quietly as Shepard’s fingers twitched. That was certainly a good sign, she thought as she pulled a chair close to Shepard’s bed and sat down. She lifted the blanket and peered at what had been a giant, gaping hole in her side but now it was stitched up and barely larger than her two fingers. She let the blanket fall and tucked it in around her, careful not to disturb her.

She leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs, and watched Shepard’s face. There were dark, blue bags under her eyes but right now, when sleeping, she looked serene. Her eyes fluttered and slowly opened. Quickly Miranda stood and leaned over her, sliding her hand into Shepard’s good hand and squeezed softly.

“Shepard,” she whispered. Shepard blinked a few times and grimaced in pain before fully opening her eyes and looking up at her, a small smile on her face.

“Miranda,” she replied, her voice hoarse. “I guess this means that I owe you twice now.” Miranda gave a choked laugh, blinking back her tears and shook her head.

“You don’t owe me anything.” Shepard looked down her body, assessing her situation and looked back at Miranda.

“How bad is it?” Miranda gave her a reproachful look.

“It was nothing that I couldn’t handle Shepard,” she said and Shepard chuckled but then sucked in breath from the pain. “Here, let me get you something for the pain.” Miranda turned and rifled through a drawer, grabbed a syringe and turned back. Slowly she injected morphine into her IV and then tossed the syringe. She sat back down on the chair and looked at Shepard.

“Where is everyone?” Shepard asked, looking around the empty room.

“A few are in the waiting room. Jack, Wrex, Kasumi and Grunt. Samara, Jacob and Zaeed should be here shortly,” she said. Shepard’s eyebrows drew down.

“The Normandy? Are they okay? Did they make it off Earth?” she asked quickly, her heartbeat rising on the monitor.

“They are fine. They are a few weeks out. Without the mass relays it is taking them a while,” she said quickly, trying to calm her down. Shepard’s heart rate slowed and she sighed.

“Good, good. I’m glad they are okay,” she said, rubbing the side of her face and wincing slightly. She looked back at Miranda. “The Reapers? What happened?” Miranda looked at her for a long moment.

“Whatever you did, they’re gone. They just died. There are no reports of any Reaper activity at all,” she said quietly. “What happened up there Shepard?”  Shepard swallowed and looked away, her heartbeat speeding up. “It’s okay; you don’t have to tell me.” Shepard looked back at her.

“It’s fine,” she said softly, breathing deeply to try to calm herself. “It’s difficult to explain and I’m not sure if I really understand it all myself to be honest.” She fell silent for a moment, looking down at her hands.

“Really Shepard, I was just curious,” Miranda said lightly. Shepard looked up with a knowing smile.

“If you say so,” she said. They both fell quiet for a few minutes, listening to the soft beeping of Shepard’s monitors.

“If you’re up to it, there are questions that I need to ask you to evaluate your state of mind. With the trauma, I need to know that you’re one hundred percent Shepard,” Miranda said, pulling out a data pad.

“Shoot,” Shepard said with a small smile sitting up in bed.

“Okay. What year is it?” Miranda asked.

“Twenty one eighty six. Come on, that’s easy!” Shepard laughed.

“Oh they’ll get progressively harder, I assure you Commander,” Miranda said pressing a button on the data pad. “What year was it when you were on Elysium during the Skyillian Blitz?”

“Twenty one seventy six. Seriously Miranda?”

“Bear with me Shepard,” she said, scrolling down the data pad. “Alright, something a little different then since you’re so hell bent on it. You’re a spacer kid. Where were your parents stationed when you were born?”

“Here on Earth. My mother never wanted to have her kids in space. She wanted to have her kids on Earth,” Shepard said, fidgeting with the blanket.

“Your mother was recently promoted to Rear Admiral, but what of your father?” Miranda asked, looking down at her data pad. “I have no information on him after the Skyillian Blitz.” Shepard shot her a glance then quickly looked away and back down at her blanket.

“Dad was killed in action during the Blitz. He died trying to save as many civilians as he could. His ship, the SSV Franklin, was shot down by Batarians,” she said quietly taking in a deep breath.  She looked up at the ceiling, blinking. “Sometimes I wondered how I made it off of Elysium, but he didn’t. For a long time I was angry. I was angry at him, myself and the Alliance. It didn’t seem fair that I should have survived and made it off that fucking rock and then earn a medal for my “heroism” when my father died to save people he didn’t even know. At his service, he was awarded for his actions and what he did but I still think he deserved more. During the Blitz my mother was monitoring transmissions between the Batarians when she heard that the SSV Franklin was shot down. I didn’t find out until after I got off Elysium, but it was hard,” she said softly. She sniffed and Miranda reached out to touch her hand while Shepard swiped at her tears. Shepard gave her a small smile, swallowing, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“I’m sorry Shepard. I couldn’t find any information on him. I didn’t realize- I shouldn’t have brought it up,” she said, squeezing Shepard’s hand.

“No, it’s okay really. It was a long time ago. I know now, at least, that what happened to my dad was not my fault or the Alliance’s fault. At least this way I know he didn’t suffer and he didn’t have to deal with the Reapers,” she said. Miranda pulled back and set the data pad on the table next to her.

“I think that’s enough questions for now, but I definitely need to monitor you. Given everything you’ve been through. However, I know there is a crowd in the waiting room dying to see you,” she said, smiling while tapping on her omni-tool. Shepard gave a small laugh. A few minutes later, Jack, Wrex, Grunt and Kasumi filed into the room. Their eyes searching Shepard for any signs that there was something wrong. Shepard smiled at them and Kasumi bounded over, giving her a light hug.

“You had everyone so worried, Shep,” Kasumi said smiling through her tears. Shepard gave her a tired smile. Wrex walked up and took Shepard’s good hand in his, squeezing.

“Doing alright?” he asked. She gave him a knowing smile.

“Of course,” she smiled. She looked at Jack who was standing at the foot of her bed. “Jack I didn’t know you’d be so worried about me,” she said smiling. Jack lifted her eyebrow at her and the corner of her mouth lifted up in a smile.

“Well Shepard, you saved my ass more than once. I felt I had to return the favor. Didn’t seem fair otherwise,” she laughed. Grunt laughed as he slapped his hand down on Shepard’s fractured leg and when she jumped in pain he quickly removed it, apologizing profusely.

“Sorry Shepard, I didn’t even think about it,” he said. He looked at her with his head lowered. “I really am sorry.”

“You’re fine Grunt, really,” she said.

“So Shepard, when will you be up and moving instead of lying in this bed like a useless squishy lump?” Wrex asked, laughing at the look on Miranda’s face. Shepard laughed seeing the shocked look on Miranda’s face.

“Relax Cheerleader, he was joking,” Jack said as she lightly punched Miranda in the arm. Miranda bristled at the term “Cheerleader”.

“I’m feeling a lot better, but I think it’ll still be a few weeks before I’m actually up and moving around freely,” Shepard said leaning back against her pillows. “I’m itching to get in touch with the Normandy. So Wrex, give me the update. What’s it like out there?” Shepard asked, jerking her head back towards the wall.

“Lots of celebrating with alcohol. It’s parties in the streets before everyone gets together to start the clean-up and figure out what to do with all the dead Reapers,” he rumbled, leaning back against the wall.

“I think they earned it,” she said, rubbing her face. “What about your students Jack? Are they okay?”

“You worry too much Shepard. They’re fine, no casualties,” Jack replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. Do we have an estimate on how many Reaper corpses are out there?” she asked.

“Not really. There hasn’t been time yet. While people are celebrating we’re also trying to get organized,” Grunt said.

“Shepard you really should be resting,” Miranda said. Wrex looked at her.

“I think she’s right Shepard. You’ve done enough. You need to rest up and get better,” he said, pushing himself away from the wall. “I need to get back to the Krogan and start helping anyway.” Jack and Grunt nodded.

“I can start as well,” Kasumi piped up.

“Okay, well if you need me. You know where I am,” Shepard said. Jack threw her a look while turning away to walk out.

“I think you’ve done more than enough Shepard. Let someone else handle shit for a change. Let them see how not fucking easy it is,” Jack said as she walked out the door behind Wrex, Grunt and Kasumi leaving Shepard with Miranda.

Miranda fussed with Shepard’s pillows and checked her IVs and monitors while saying, “I hate to admit it but she’s right. When I say rest Shepard, I mean no thinking or stressing or worrying about anything but getting better.” She pulled away and crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Shepard.

“It just feels like a second nature to me. I’ve been leading and commanding since I was twenty-two,” Shepard said, lying down on her pillows and wincing. Miranda pulled a syringe from the drawer and slowly pushed its contents into Shepard’s IV.

“I understand Shepard, but there is nothing for you to worry about anymore. The galaxy is safe. For now anyway,” she added laughing. “I gave you something for the pain and it’s going to make you tired. Rest for now and in a few hours I’ll bring you something to eat,” she said, tossing the syringe into the disposal unit. When she turned back Shepard was already asleep, her breathing slow and even. Miranda turned away and walked towards the doors with one last glance at the sleeping woman and smiled. 

 

* * *

 

_She was sitting on the couch in her cabin looking at her breather helmet, checking it for any damage. She turned it over, running her fingers over it and traced the outline of the N7 logo._

_“Shepard, I thought you might be up here,” came Garrus’ deep rumbling voice. She looked up at him and gave him a smile. “What’re you doing?” She looked back down at the helmet in her hands then stood and walked towards the bed._

_“I thought I heard the casing crack during that last fight,” she said quietly then tossed her helmet at him. He looked down at the helmet then back at her. She looked at him, at the expression on his face, memorizing the blue clan markings then sat down. “It must have just grazed me.” He smiled at her and set it down on her coffee table._

_“You know what the best part is about a battle that decides the whole fate of galaxy?” He asked as he walked towards her and sat next to her on the bed. She smiled at him._

_“Winning it?” He looked at her and smiled._

_“I was thinking it’s a good excuse to remind the ones you care about that, well, you care about them. Want some company?” She laughed as she took his hand and squeezed it, looking into his blue eyes. She could feel the heat radiating from him._

_“You read my mind,” she said, sliding closer to him. She wanted him to hold her, caress her. He smiled and leaned towards her._

_“Hm, guess I’m getting pretty good at this,” he said, sliding his hand through her hair. “But some more practice wouldn’t hurt.” She laughed and leaned forward and pressed her lips against his, letting her eyes close as she felt his hand slide over her back down towards her hip, gripping her. He pulled back and she opened her eyes to look at him. “I have a question I wanted to ask you and I know that this is probably not the time, but we have hours until we reach our destination.” She laughed and moved up the bed so she could lean against the headboard._

_“Ask away,” she said. He turned his body so that he could face her and leaned down against the bed resting his body on his elbow and caressed her leg. She suppressed a shiver at his touch._

_“What are your plans for after this war?” She looked at him thoughtfully. Truthfully, she’d never given it much thought. She would be damn lucky if she made it out this god forsaken war alive._

_“I don’t know. I think I’d like to live in the mountains somewhere. Some place quiet,” she replied watching his fingers dance her leg._

_“Any particular place?”_

_“Honestly Garrus I haven’t given it that much thought. I want to win this war first and then go from there,” she said, leaning her head back. She felt him move closer to her._

_“So you’re telling me that the great Commander Shepard has no dreams or fantasies?” She laughed and looked at him._

_“I do, but why think about it when there is a high chance I’ll never get it?” He jerked his head up and his eyes pierced hers. “Come on Garrus, you can’t tell me that you haven’t thought about it either.” She watched the emotions flit over his face._

_“I’d rather not think about that. Instead I think about what our future holds, not your death,” he said softly. She reached her hand out and touched his face, forcing his head up to look at her. Her eyes searched his._

_“I have no illusions that I’ll make it out of this alive. I had a second chance thanks to the Lazarus project but I don’t get two,” she whispered. He jerked away from her quickly and stood. He paced at the side of her bed, silent before looking at her again. She watched him quietly, letting him gather his thoughts. He paused in his pacing and turned to her, crossing his arms over his chest. His mandibles twitched slightly._

_“I think you’ll make it out alright. You’re strong,” he said. She gave him a small smile. “You have been through hell and back. We made it to Ilos, we made it through the Omega-4 relay, you died once and now you’re sitting in front of me. I don’t think this is your final fight.” He sat back down on the bed and took her hand in his._

_“Maybe you’re right,” she said looking at his large three fingered hand holding her smaller five fingered one in his. His free hand slid up into her hair and made her look at him._

_“I know I am,” he said, his eyes boring into hers. “Now amuse me. Forget your dark thoughts of dying and tell me what you want after this war is over.” This was why she loved Garrus. He disagreed but he didn’t press the issue. He tried to prove how she was wrong with examples, not with words. She licked her lips and smiled._

_“Okay. Like I said, I want to live in the mountains somewhere with not a lot of thru traffic. I want to build a house near a lake and raise a family.”_

_“You really think you’d like civilian life?” He laughed. She threw him a look._

_“It’s better than trying to raise kids on ships. I think if I make it out of this war, the Alliance would understand. What? You can’t see me as a home maker?” She smiled at him._

_“You? Making dinner and baking? Attending school functions? No, not really,” he said, smiling at her._

_“When you put it that way no I can’t. Though I don’t exactly see you tossing a ball around a big yard with our son,” she said, looking at him. His eyeplates lowered over his eyes and she felt his fingers tighten around hers._

_“So you see us in this mountain setting?” She pulled back and looked at him curiously._

_“Of course. Why? Do you have plans where I am not included?” she asked, giving him a half smile._

_“No, I just didn’t think- well, I’ve thought about us getting married and having children but I didn’t know that you had as well,” he said softly, playing with the ends of her hair. She saw something in his eyes and felt a tug at her heart._

_“I told you that I had dreams. All of which revolve around you and I. I love_ you _Garrus,” she said softly, leaning forward to press her lips against his. His hand tightened in her hair. She wrapped her arms around his neck, maneuvering her body so that she was sitting on top of him. She felt his tongue slide of her lips and greedily she opened her mouth and ran her tongue over his, sighing._

_His hands slid down her back and came to rest on her hips. She pulled back and grasped the zipper of her dress and pulled it down. He leaned forward and pressed his face against the crook of her neck, breathing deeply._

_He slid the dress down her arms, exposing her soft tanned skin. She sighed when he ran his hands over her naked torso and leaned down to kiss him, sliding her tongue over his as she deftly undid the buttons on his jacket. She pushed the jacket off his shoulders and ran her hand over his bare chest. She loved the feeling of his plating and the feel of his skin. She moved off of him to shimmy out of her dress while he removed the rest of his clothing._

_He tugged her hand and she laid on the bed with him between her legs. His hand grabbed her leg and pulled it up as his mouth did things to her that made her moan and thrust her hips up to meet his.  She felt the urgent need of having him inside her and vocalized it. She reached between them and guided him to her entrance, her eyes never leaving his._

_He was much larger than most men she’d been with but she felt whole when they were connected like this. She pulled his head down to kiss him as he slid out of her and back in. He hit her spot and her back arched. She ran her hands over his back moaning his name, digging her nails into his flesh every time he hit that special spot._

_He pressed his hip against hers, rubbing his body against her clit as he slid in and out of her. She pulled her legs up and wrapped them around his small waist. “Garrus,” she said, feeling nothing but overwhelming love for the Turian she was making love with. She tightened her muscles and felt a surge of intense pleasure as she ripped a long, low moan from him._

_She ran her hand over his fringe as her other hand grasped futilely at his hip urging him to move faster. He understood and pulled back slightly. She felt her stomach muscles tighten, her breathing speed up and knew she was close. His body tightened above her and she knew he was too._

_“Garrus,” she moaned, looking into his eyes. She tried to convey her message with her body and eyes. He paused and looked at her._

_“Are you sure?” he asked, running his hand through her hair and down her cheek. She nodded and pulled him down. He started sliding in and out of her deeper and faster and she felt her breath hitch in her throat. She moaned, feeling the pleasure build._

_“Elizabeth,” he groaned, slamming his body into hers placing his lips at her neck. She felt his breath hot against her neck and it intensified all the surges of feelings she was having. She loved him, she wanted this. She opened her mouth and clamped her teeth down on his neck, feeling a slight tickle of blood flow over her tongue. He moaned and with one last thrust, he sank his teeth into her neck while both of them succumbed to the intense pleasure of their simultaneous orgasms._

_She’d never felt something like what was happening. She felt her life dancing and twining with Garrus’, as if the very essence of her being was being tied to him; it was the most intense thing she had ever experienced. The aftershocks of her orgasm dimmed and she pulled her mouth away from his neck, feeling different, but it was a good different._

_“Are you okay?” she asked softly as Garrus rolled off of her to lay next to her on the bed. When he didn’t say anything she began to worry.  She turned to him and propped herself up on her elbow and tentatively touched his chest. “Is something wrong?” He opened his eyes and captured her hand in his._

_“No, nothing is wrong,” he said. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that not everything was okay. “I’ve never bonded with anyone before. I had heard that it was powerful, but I think that bonded with you transcended everything in this galaxy.”_

_“Is that not good?” she asked worriedly. He gave her a smile._

_“It’s very good. How do you feel though?” She gave him a thoughtful look._

_“I feel whole. I feel complete now,” she said and leaned down to kiss him._

Shepard woke with a start and blinked, trying to figure out where she was. She heard the quiet beeping of the monitors and realized with a wave of relief that she was in the hospital. She was alive and that was good. _Garrus was right_ , she thought with a smile. 

 

 


	6. Slight Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now, I want to warn you that this chapter contains language, loads of smut, and a steamy threesome. So if that isn’t your thing, then feel free to not read. No hard feelings, I totally understand. :-)

**Author** **’** **s Notes:** I hope everyone has enjoyed playing the DLC that is out now for Mass Effect 3, Citadel. It is awesome and well worth the 20 dollars and 4GBs of data that it takes up. You can purchase it from XBL, Steam and the PSN. It is the perfect farewell to our beloved characters. It has romance, action, hilarity, trash talking between characters and things we, as fans, write about in the DLC. If you haven't played it, quit reading and go download the damn thing people! :-) As always, I do love reviews and they are greatly appreciated. :-) 

  
**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. Sadly. I wish I were Casey Hudson.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tali leaned against the backside of the panel, pressing her head back against the wall with her knees pulled up towards her chest and sighed while fiddling with the screwdriver in her hand. She was a master at working on ships, especially engines, but she had never had an opportunity to work on jump drives before. Even with EDI's help it was taking longer to install them then it should have. EDI had offered to go in instead, seeing as how the Normandy was technically her body, but they decided it was best if Tali went simply because Tali could feel if she stepped on or broke something whereas EDI wouldn't. While she waited on some numbers from Garrus, she thought back to when she practically forced Shepard to watch Fleet and Flotilla, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. She was a Quarian, she shouldn't have those types of feelings for another female but truthfully she couldn't help herself.

Ever since Shepard had picked her up during her chase for Saren she had felt the undeniable draw towards her, but was too much of a huhinaceo to make any such advances on her. Besides, she had expressed great interest in Liara, the beautiful and intelligent Asari, and then somehow her attention had shifted to Garrus, the strong and patient Turian. She still was uncertain as to how Garrus and Shepard had begun their relationship but she was all too aware that Garrus, during the hunt for Saren, had already developed feelings for their Commander. Apparently he had more guts than she did to pursue a relationship with her.

She sighed and closed her eyes, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks as she thought about what she had let slip at the party in Shepard's apartment. She couldn't help but think of what Shepard had said the next day after they were back on the Normandy and what had happened, blushing profusely. 

_She was tinkering around with the engine, running some diagnostics with EDI and Adams before hitting the Kronos station, though they still had a few other things to do before then, when she felt a light pressure on her arm and she turned around to the bright green eyes of one of her closest friends who was wearing a small smile on her lips._

_“Got a minute to talk Tali?”  Shepard asked, removing her hand and crossing her arms over her chest, looking at the console over Tali’s shoulder. “Unless you’re busy. I can always come back later.” She gave a nervous laugh and shook her head._

_“No, it’s fine really. We’re just running diagnostics to make sure this girl is completely up to and ready for the imminent battle.” Keelah, why am I so nervous? She thought to herself, wringing her hands._

_“How’s it coming?” Tali tilted her head, her nervousness forgotten momentarily, and tapped on her omni-tool. She brought up a holo and gestured at it with her three fingered hand._

_“Really well,” she exclaimed excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet, jostling the holo. “The engine is running smoothly and we’ve even installed a few upgrades. The Normandy is more than ready, Shepard.” She smiled at her from behind her mask and felt pride at her work. Shepard laughed, a deep throaty laugh, and suddenly Tali was nervous again. She cursed herself mentally, screaming at herself for her untimely feelings._

_“That’s good to hear.” Shepard paused for a moment tilting her head and looked at Tali with that small smile still bringing her lips up in a soft curve. “Can we talk privately?”_

_Tali’s handed started sweating and her heart began to beat faster. “P-privately?” she stammered. Shepard nodded and jerked her head towards the doors._

_“Can you meet me in my cabin in a few minutes? There’s something I want to talk to you about.” If Shepard could sense her nervousness she wasn’t letting on. Inside, she felt like her stomach was doing flip flops and she tried to slow the rate of her heart but was failing. Keelah, I’m in trouble._

_“Sure, I’ll be up in a few.” Shepard gave her arm a light squeeze, which sent an electric shock up her arm and throughout her body, then turned away nodding at Adams, Daniels and Donnelly. Once Shepard was gone she took a deep breath and rubbed the spot where Shepard had touched her and turned back to the console with a million thoughts flying through her head. Once she felt calm enough she headed up to Shepard’s cabin, pausing slightly before getting into the elevator._

_Perhaps she could just tell her that something had come up and she wasn’t able to meet her. No, if Shepard wanted to talk to her she would endure it, whatever it may be. When the doors opened in front of Shepard’s cabin she closed her eyes and sighed. She stepped out and knocked on the door, waiting patiently for a reply. When she heard Shepard call she opened the door and stepped in, looking at the fish and smiled. They were still alive._

_She walked down the stairs and started when she saw Shepard pouring two glasses of alcohol and her stomach started flopping again._

_“I’ve got this dextro wine. I keep it up here for Garrus, but I thought you might like to have some. I’ve even got a straw for you,” Shepard said, smiling at her. Tali smiled and shook her head in embarrassment._

_“Thank you.” She took the offered drink with the straw and sat down on the couch which was unbelievably comfortable. Much more comfortable than the furniture in the lounge. No wonder Garrus is up here all the time, she thought feeling a spike of jealously before quashing it quickly. She had no reason to be jealous. She had been too nervous and it was not Garrus’ fault. She looked up as Shepard sat down next to her and sighed, taking a sip from her glass. She moved over a bit, trying to move away from the heat of Shepard’s bare leg and pressed herself against the arm of the couch; bringing up one of her legs underneath her so she could face her. “You said you wanted to talk?” Shepard glanced at her and took another sip from her glass and crossed her legs._

_“Mm,” she said, leaning back against the couch and watched Tali for a moment as she fiddled with her straw. “I wanted to talk about something you said at the party.”_

_She managed to get the straw where she needed it and took a deep drink before looking at Shepard again. “About what?” She tried to sound nonchalant but her voice betrayed her by coming out as a squeak._

_Shepard turned so that she was facing her and took another sip of her drink before setting in down on the coffee table. “When I found you in the bathroom, which I have to admit was probably one of the best moments of the whole party, you said something and I’ve been curious about it ever since.” Now she felt like she might die from embarrassment. She was hoping this would never be brought up. How could Shepard be so calm about this when she herself thought she was going to melt right through the couch? She must have sensed her nervousness now because she reached out a comforting hand and laid it over hers. “If you don’t want to talk about it, we can talk about something else Tali.” She looked into her green eyes and felt her breath hitch in her throat._

_Garrus was so damn lucky to have her. If he ever did anything to hurt her, she would personally find him and shoot him with her shotgun. Shepard was always so understanding and calm about everything. Even now in her utter embarrassment she felt like she could tell Shepard anything and everything and she would just sit there and listen without judgment._

_“No, I’m okay really.” She licked her dry lips behind her mask and took an even deeper drink from her wine. Already she was starting to feel warm and tingling._

_“When you said, “Garrus, but you’re with Shepard… oh the three of us? Well…” I was wondering if he had actually asked you that or not.” Her cheeks burned hotly and she almost dropped her drink into her lap. She looked down and finished her wine. When she looked up again Shepard was finishing off her glass as well._

_“I was drunk Shepard,” she said, reaching for the dextro wine and pouring herself some more as Shepard poured herself another glass._

_“I know, but did he ask you or is that a fantasy of yours?” She was so taken aback by the question that she actually dropped the bottle but Shepard’s fast reflexes grabbed it before it could land. Her cheeks felt as if they could melt right through her mask and she was suddenly very warm. It was also getting hard to breath but she took another large drink from her glass before looking at Shepard._

_“Well um-I- that is we- oh Keelah,” she said and ran a hand over her mask. She felt Shepard warm hand on hers and she looked up at her, tears of embarrassment in her eyes. She knew Shepard couldn’t see them and for that she was grateful._

_“It’s okay Tali, really. You have no need to be embarrassed about it. We all have fantasies.” She shook off Shepard’s hand._

_“He mentioned it in passing,” she whispered. Shepard lifted her head and made her look at her._

_“I never said I was offended or was opposed to the idea at all Tali.” She stopped fidgeting and stared at the human woman in front of her for a moment before shaking her head._

_“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better Shepard,” she said sadly. What Shepard was doing was completely unfair and hurtful._

_“Would I do that to you Tali?” She cringed at the tone Shepard used and instantly felt chagrined. Could Shepard really be saying what she thought she was saying? “Look at me,” she said, forcing Tali to look at her again. Her green eyes burned into her glowing ones. She felt she could lose herself in those bright, green orbs. “Would I do that to you?” she repeated her question and slowly Tali shook her head, earning a soft smile from the human woman._

_Shepard lifted her hand and ran it over Tali’s hood and down her arm in a feathery light caress. At her touch, she felt her heartbeat speed up and felt her core become hot from arousal. It was a good thing she decided to keep the nerve-stim pro installed, she thought. In her haze, she managed to work out a coherent sentence. “Shepard, you’re with Garrus. We shouldn’t,” she said, biting back a sigh as Shepard took her hand in hers and laced their fingers together. She’d never been touched like this before and it was taking all of her self-control to not whip off her mask and enviro suit. Shepard brought herself closer to Tali. So close that Tali could see the faint scars that lined her cheeks from her reconstruction, the lightest of her freckles dotting her face and the flecks of gold in her eyes. In that moment she decided what she wanted._

_“I was thinking we could indulge all of our fantasies,” Shepard breathed, leaning in closer, pressing her body against Tali’s. She blinked and felt her stomach muscles clench in excitement._

_“You mean…” Shepard pulled back a fraction of an inch and gave her a half smile._

_“If you’re okay with it.” She felt like she was spinning, but in a very good way. She was about to ask a question when Shepard answered it for her. “I’ve already talked to Garrus.”_

_“Then why did you ask me?” she questioned, leaning towards her again, missing the heat from her body._

_“I wanted to hear you say it.” Tali took a deep breath and reached out a shaking hand to run her fingers through Shepard’s hair, something she had wanted to do for a very long time. She was surprised at how soft it was on her fingers._

_“I want to,” she said, sliding her hand down over Shepard’s arm, loving the feel of her soft tanned skin under her hands. Her body was aching with the need for Shepard to touch her._

_“Want me to call him?” All she could do was nod and watch as Shepard typed out a message on her omni-tool and within seconds there was a faint ping back. That was fast, she thought quietly._

_Shepard took Tali’s drink from her and set it on the table then turned back to her, leaning into her and lightly ran her hand over her suited arm, sending jolts of electricity throughout her body and she felt more alive than she ever had. She slid her hands into Shepard’s hair, relishing in the silky strands sliding over her fingers. She could hear Shepard’s breathing in her ear and longed to feel it against her skin._

_She didn’t care if she got sick, she wanted to feel Shepard. She wanted to know what her lips tasted like, to feel her tongue against hers and feel her hot breath on her neck. She pulled back for a moment and reach for her mask, taking in the burning look of Shepard’s eyes, and unclipped it._

_Shepard reached up and brushed her hand away, slowly taking the mask off. She set it on the table as Tali unhooked her hood from her suit and let it fall to the floor. When Shepard turned back to her, she carefully ran her hands through Tali’s dark black hair._

_She leaned in to kiss Shepard, but she pulled away a worried look on her face. “I’ll take some antibiotics. Besides, on Rannoch I linked a Prime to my suit so I shouldn’t get very sick at all,” she said, calming Shepard. Her heart warmed with the knowledge that she was worried about her._

_She leaned towards her again, slowly, and looked into her eyes for the first time without her mask. She was even more beautiful, if that was possible. She paused, unsure suddenly. What if Shepard didn’t think she was attractive? Shepard must have noticed her hesitation because she pressed her warm palm against her cheek and gave her a soft smile._

_“You’re beautiful,” she whispered, running her fingers over her skin. Tali closed her eyes and sighed into the touch. She moaned softly when she felt Shepard’s soft, rosy lips press against hers. She felt like her heart was going to fly out of her chest and she was going to explode. Slowly, she traced her tongue over her lips noticing that she tasted like something sweet. When Shepard opened her mouth she ran her tongue against her slightly rough one eagerly._

_She felt herself being pressed back into the arm of the couch and Shepard’s hand twining into her hair as their tongues danced against each other, battling one another, as Shepard pressed her body flush against Tali’s eliciting another moan from her when there was a loud knock on the door in the otherwise quiet room. Both women pulled away from each other, their faces flushed._

_“Yes?” Shepard called out, placing her hand on Tali’s thigh which made her core warm._

_“It’s me,” came Garrus’ deep voice from behind the door. “Can I uh, come in?” Tali bit back a giggle at the way he asked. She’d never heard him sound nervous before. Shepard smiled at her._

_“Of course.” The door opened with a quiet whoosh and she heard Garrus walk in slowly. Shepard got up and went to him, speaking to him in quiet whispers. She couldn’t make out what exactly what they were saying, but she refused to turn around. Afraid that she would lose her courage to do this and instead bolt. A moment later Shepard and Garrus came down. Shepard sat next to her again and Garrus sat next to Shepard. Tali didn’t look at Garrus, but felt his eyes on her._

_Shepard grabbed a glass off the coffee table and poured Garrus some of the dextro wine. Tali watched as their fingers brushed against each other and felt another spike of jealously, before squashing it again. She knew what she was getting herself into and she wouldn’t allow herself to be fooled into thinking otherwise._

_She was surprised when Shepard leaned into her and began lightly running her hand over thigh in front of Garrus. She knew what they were going to do, but it was still new to her and part of her was embarrassed while the other part of her was screaming for her to just let go. She took a moment to chance a glance at Garrus who was watching Shepard’s hand on her thigh, taking a slow sip from his wine. He was dressed in his civilian clothes and his eyes were burning with intensity._

_She’d always liked Garrus and if had been anyone else who had asked about this, she would have said no. There were many nights where she had fantasized about herself and Garrus in the engine room or the gun battery, but mostly she had thought about herself and Shepard with the occasional thoughts of the three of them._

_She decided to let her “freak flag fly” as Jack had said once and leaned forward, turning Shepard’s face towards hers. She looked into her eyes before leaning forward and pressing her lips against hers sighing into the kiss.  Shepard ran her tongue over her bottom lip and she sucked on it, earning a moan from Shepard which made liquid pool between her thighs._

_Shepard grabbed one of Tali’s legs and lifted it, without breaking the kiss, and pressed her body against hers tangling her hand in her mass of black hair. Bravely, she ran her hand over her shoulder and down Shepard’s chest, gently squeezing her breast while thumbing over her hardened nipple._

_She felt Shepard’s fingers ghost over her own nipples and she moaned, opening her mouth even wider to accommodate her tongue. She let her hand travel downwards over Shepard’s body, over her stomach and down towards her hip, grabbing it and squeezing it with her three fingers. She felt Shepard moan into her mouth and did it again, squeezing harder and pulling Shepard toward her._

_Shepard pulled away from her mouth and began nipping at her earlobe making Tali shiver. “Are you cold?” she breathed into her ear. She shook her head and she laughed a deep throaty, sexy laugh that turned her on even more. She had her hand wrapped in Shepard’s fiery red strands when she felt Shepard’s wet mouth begin to suck on her pulse point, nearly driving her over the edge and she pulled at her hair._

_She felt her knee pressing against Shepard’s warmth, felt the heat emanating from her center and pushed against it moaning when Shepard groaned against her neck. She shifted her body so that Shepard’s leg could do the same and felt the familiar tightening of her stomach muscles biting back a cry of ecstasy. She wanted to hold on; she didn’t want to go over the precipice yet._

_She heard a quiet rustling and then the sound of a zipper being pulled and she opened her eyes. Garrus had set his empty glass down and was undoing Shepard’s dress as Shepard was undoing the seals on her suit. At some point Shepard had lost her heels but Tali focused on the feeling of Shepard’s mouth on her neck and her leg between her thighs._

_Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard the air leaving her seals and felt the cool air of the cabin on her skin, but she couldn’t concentrate. Not with Shepard touching her like this. Shepard removed her leg from between her thighs and pulled away, with a sad moan from Tali only to be divesting herself of her clothing._

_Tali sat and watched her, mesmerized by the sight of her naked Commander in front of her. She’d fantasized about her a thousand times, but it was nothing compared to the real thing. She felt a pair of hands on her and watched as Garrus’ hands grabbed her arms and lifted her up against him as Shepard leaned down to help her out of her suit._

_As Shepard worked on the other seals, Garrus ran his hand over her back, lightly scratching the skin that Shepard had exposed, while he turned her head to the side so he could run his tongue over her collar bone. She moaned from the contact from both his tongue and Shepard’s hands, squeezing the flesh on her hips._

_She titled her head up and caught Garrus’ lips with hers, sliding her tongue between his sandpapery lips as he pulled her into his lap, pressing his erection against her throbbing center. She felt his hands pulling at the fabric of her suit, careful to not tear it as she needed it, exposing her body._

_She wasn’t sure what made her do it, but she reached for Shepard and urged her head down so she could kiss her and pull back to slide her hand between herself and Garrus, rubbing his hard cock. She felt Shepard’s fingers pluck at her hard nipples while Garrus groaned and reached between them to rub her clitoris through her suit. Immediately, she felt herself coming and tried to control the muscle spasms. It was too much. She needed them now; on the bed._

_She pulled away and stood, divesting herself of the rest of her suit and pressed herself against Shepard as she walked them both to the bed, her mouth never leaving Shepard’s. Carefully, Shepard pressed her down into the mattress, leaning over her, her legs on either side of her hips and ran her tongue along her jaw and down towards her collar bone, sucking gently as her fingers found their way to her clit, rubbing her in circles. She felt the heat building again but prayed that she would be able to last longer than she did last time._

_Her hand found Shepard’s slick heat and reciprocated the motions, sliding a finger in between her folds while rubbing her swollen nub earning a loud, deep moan from her. She felt the bed shift as Garrus kneeled on it, behind Shepard, while she licked away at Tali’s nipples._

_The head of Garrus’ cock touched Tali’s fingers and she used her free hand to rub him while he rubbed against Shepard’s lips, his cock leaking light blue fluids. He groaned and leaned forward, pulling Shepard’s hair to the side and began sucking on her neck. Tali’s breath was coming out in gasps as she had another orgasm, relishing in the soft pads of Shepard’s fingers slowly rubbing het clit in circles while her tongue did something amazing against her nipples as she herself stroked Garrus._

_She felt Garrus slip inside of Shepard and moaned, tracing the outline of his cock buried deep within her pussy. She pulled Shepard’s mouth up to hers and kissed her deeply. She wanted Shepard’s fingers inside of her so she guided her hand to her entrance and gave her a pleading look._

_Above her Shepard’s body was being rocked back and forth as Garrus worked himself in and out of her, grunting with pleasure, while his mouth was still attached to her neck. Tali found it extremely erotic to see him fucking Shepard in front of her and pressed against Shepard’s hand, urging her fingers to slide inside of her, thrusting her hips upwards and moaned loudly when her index finger slowly, in sweet torture, began working itself inside of her, her own pussy muscles clenching around Shepard’s finger while her thumb still ran in slow circles around her clit._

_Tali lifted herself a fraction of an inch to wrap her wet mouth around Shepard’s hardened nipple, sucking roughly as she felt Shepard slide another finger into her wetness both of them groaning from the pleasure they were receiving._

_As Garrus’ movements sped up, his rough skin and hip plates slapping against Shepard’s soft tanned skin, Tali matched his thrusting against Shepard’s hand. The combined sound of Garrus’ cock sliding in and out of Shepard, the feel of Shepard’s strong thin fingers fucking her and her mouth sucking and licking hungrily at Shepard’s nipples was enough to send her over the edge again her hands grasping Shepard’s arm as she threw her head back in utter ecstasy as she rode out another orgasm._

_Shepard slipped her fingers out of her and pulled away from Garrus earning a displeased groan from him, but with one look he quieted._

_“Garrus, lay down,” she said, her lips swollen and her cheeks red from pleasure and sex. It wasn’t a command but more of a request and Garrus did as she asked lying back on the bed, his three fingered hand slow stroking his length as he looked at both the naked women in front of him. Shepard looked at Tali and without speaking she knew what she wanted._

_She lifted herself to her knees and turned to Garrus. He reached out a hand to steady her as she positioned herself above her length. Slowly she lowered herself onto him, letting her body get used to the intrusion. He was very large and she felt herself stretching to fit him, moaning from the immense pleasure twining with pain. She felt his hand caressing her trembling thigh, felt the ridges and incredible bumps on his cock, and looked at Shepard who was sitting up near the headboard, her legs splayed open running her fingers between her folds watching as Tali took Garrus deep into her body._

_Once Tali had Garrus’ buried inside her up to the hilt, she started rocking forward and touched her clit watching Shepard the whole time with little glances at Garrus whose eyes were shut and was groaning loudly, hips his thrusting upwards to meet hers in a slow but steady pace._

_She watched Shepard slide two fingers inside of her slick heat, rubbing her clit and plucking at her nipples. She wanted to taste her, to run her tongue over Shepard and bring her to completion with her own mouth. Her tongue flicked out over her lips, her hips speeding up over Garrus at the thought of how she would taste on her tongue._

_Instead Garrus reached for Shepard and pulled her towards him, forcing her to sit on his chest with her feet touching the headboard and relaxing back against Tali as she worked his cock in and out of her pussy. She watched as he gripped her ass and pulled her forward to run his tongue along her folds eliciting the most delicious sound from her throat._

_She reached forward, leaning her weight against Shepard, and ran her hands over her nipples plucking at them as Garrus worked his tongue inside of her, his main finger pressing on her clitoris._

_She came, hard, around his cock and he groaned loudly from the spasmodic clenching of her muscles around him while Shepard cried out as an orgasm finally crashed into her. Tali clamped her mouth down on Shepard’s neck, sucking on her pulse point, as she continued to rub her own clit and fuck Garrus._

_She wanted to taste her, badly. So badly she felt another orgasm wash over her, making Garrus’ hips buck underneath her jostling Shepard slightly. She pulled away from him and took Shepard by the shoulders, pulling her off of him and laid her on her back, kissing her way down her body running her tongue in circles at the divot in her belly before going lower._

_She let out a breath against Shepard’s pussy and tentatively pressed her tongue against her clitoris. Shepard cried out and wrapped her hand in Tali’s hair, thrusting her hips upwards. She took that as a good sign and did it again._

_She looked up and saw Garrus lean over Shepard, pressing his cock against her lips and watched as Shepard opened her mouth and began sucking on him, drawing deep rumbling sounds from him. Tali reached between her own legs and pleasured herself at the sight, while running her tongue down Shepard’s pussy, licking at her._

_She slipped her tongue inside of her and pressed deep, licking at her insides drawing out a moan that was muffled by Garrus’ cock thrusting to the back of her throat.  She sucked on her lips, thrust her tongue into her and rubbed her clitoris in different intervals loving how Shepard’s hand in her hair tightened right before she came. Tali wanted to taste her orgasm so she slipped her tongue back inside of her to feel her tight, wet, warm pussy clenching around her tongue as she came again._

_Garrus pulled away and they all laid there for a moment before Shepard moved toward Tali who waved her off saying she was spent. She watched as Garrus grabbed Shepard and thrust into her, how he stretched her from behind as he fucked her, tugging on her hair as their cries of pleasure echoing in the small cabin._

_The site of Garrus fucking Shepard in front of her was too much and start touching herself in time to his thrusts, using her three fingers to go as deep as they could. It was amazing to watch how they fit against one another, how in tune they were to each other. He pulled Shepard back against himself, his hand tangled in her red hair, as his other hand kept a firm grip on her hip, pounding into her. He leaned his head down and clamped his mouth down on her neck, biting deep and they came as one._

_Tali felt as if the world was exploding around her for the umpteenth time that night as she came again watching as Shepard and Garrus’ reached their own climaxes, their bodies shaking, their breath coming out as deep gasps as Shepard cried out Garrus’  name, her hand on her clitoris._

_All of them fell back on the bed in a tangled heap of sweating bodies, trying to catch their breath._

_She felt, since she could no longer keep her eyes open, Shepard’s arm around her waist pulling her back against her naked body as Garrus’ snaked his arm about Shepard’s waist, the three of them cuddled together on the bed. It was the best night of her existence._

Garrus’ voice brought her out of her revere. “What?” she asked, feeling slightly breathless at the memory.  She’d been sick for a few days, but she was pleasantly surprised that it was mild and not something overly serious.

“I said I have those calibrations for you.” She giggled. He and calibrations but she needed them if she was to get the jump drives back online. They hadn’t been used in ages, but it was his idea. Without the Mass Relays they could still use jumps to get there faster. It, obviously, wouldn’t be as fast as using the relays but EDI had said they could be there in two weeks once the drives were back online and not just for emergency, out of fuel jumps.

She looked at her omni-tool and smiled. Yes, that was what she needed. They would be at Earth in just two weeks if this worked.

She couldn’t wait to see Shepard again.

 

* * *

 

Miranda pushed open the door to Shepard’s quiet room and peaked in. She was awake, sitting up in bed and reading something on her omni-tool which made her mouth turn up in a smile. She looked up as Miranda made her way towards her, a steaming bowl of something in her hands.

“Dinner?” Miranda nodded and pulled a small table over her lap and placed the bowl in front of her. Shepard looked at it and then back up at her, one of her eyebrows raised. “Um, what is it?” Miranda laughed and handed her a spoon.

“Wrex made it for you,” she said laughing even harder at the look on Shepard’s face as she peered down into the bowl filled to the brim with strange vegetables and a meat like substance.

“It’s not going to kill me is it?” Miranda shook her head.

“No. I made Jack taste it first, which was surprising considering she’s not really into weird stuff, but she liked it and Wrex gave her a bowl. I didn’t ask what it was though. Sorry Shepard,” she said as she sat down in a chair next to her bed.

“If you say so.” Cautiously she dipped her spoon into the, well, she wasn’t quite sure what to call it except gunk and lifted it to her lips blowing on it to cool it down before dumping the contents into her mouth. It really was good, but she didn’t want to ask what it was for fear of it coming back up later. “Not bad actually. Surprising from Wrex.” Miranda opened her omni-tool and read through her messages while Shepard ate.

“I see you got your omni-tool to work despite my telling you to leave it alone,” Miranda said glancing at Shepard who had turned hers on while she ate so she could read. Shepard gave her a sheepish smile and finished off the last of Wrex’s gunk and pushed the bowl away.

“I couldn’t help myself. “

“I noticed.” She grabbed the bowl and tossed it into the nearby sink making a mental note to wash it later. “Anything noteworthy?” Shepard tore her eyes away from something and glanced at her.

“Just a message from Garrus. Not recent, but I find it’s nice to re-read my messages.” Miranda nodded and looked away for a moment.

“I received a message from your friend, Dr. T’Soni, earlier updating me on the Normandy’s status. Apparently they are working on installing the jump drives.” Shepard gave her a questioning look. “Remember when we would run out of fuel because you swore up and down that we could make it back to the system on nothing but fumes and EDI had to jump us to nearest fuel depot?” Shepard smiled and gave a small laugh, earning a look of mock disapproval from Miranda. “I figured that would jog your memory, Commander. Anyway, more to the point. The jump drives can be used in place of the Mass Relays since they are severely damaged at this point and currently there are no efforts in repairing them, at least nothing that I have heard. It’s not as fast, but it beats traveling at subluminal speed the whole way here. In the simplest of terms the Normandy will make a series of jumps using its own mass effect fields to propel itself to a different location, much like when EDI jumped away from the Collector ship that the Illusive Man so thoughtfully sent us too. According to Dr. T’Soni the Normandy should be here in less than two weeks.”

Shepard sat back, chewing on her lip thoughtfully, and turned the information over in her mind. Her ship, her crew, no, her friends would, or at least could, be here in two weeks. “How many jumps would it take or do they not know yet?” Miranda crossed her legs, coughed, and shook her head.

“There is something that you should know Shepard,” she said as she reached for a glass of water. “There is something wrong with EDI. Tali told Dr. T’Soni it’s almost as if she is malfunctioning, but not completely. So for now, EDI cannot predict how many jumps it will take until the drives are installed.” Shepard jerked her head towards her, bringing her brows down over her eyes.

“EDI? But EDI should be-” she started to say but cut herself off. If EDI was alive, then she failed. Vaguely she heard Miranda say something to her, but her thoughts were whirring to loudly in her own head.  The voice of the Intelligence reverberating through her mind, over and over again.

_“Wake up,” a voice said above her as she tried to stand, but failed._

_“What? Where am I?” she asked, looking up at the voice. It was the boy, she boy she had seen on Earth and in her dreams. Was she dreaming now? Was she dead?_

_“The Citadel. It’s my home.” She stood, grasping her side in pain and looked around. She’d never seen this part of the Citadel before. In the distance she could see the terror of the Reapers, destroying the fleets, and killing thousands of people. It disgusted her._

_“Who are you?” The boy looked at her for a painfully long moment before answering._

_“I am the Catalyst.” What? That didn’t make any sense._

_“I thought the Citadel was the Catalyst,” she said, laying voice to her own thoughts. Was the Prothean VI wrong?_

_“No,” the boy said, agitation barely detectable in his voice. “The Citadel is a part of me.” She stepped towards him, bending slightly._

_“I need to stop the Reapers. Do you know how I can do that?” The pain was too much, her vision began to blur but his voice jerked her back._

_“Perhaps. I control the Reapers. They are my solution,” he said turning his back to her and walking away._

_“Solution?” she asked, following him to the middle of the platform. It branched off into three locations but she didn’t know for what purpose. “To what?” He looked over his shoulder at her._

_“Chaos. The created will always rebel against their creators. But we found a way to stop that from happening. A way to restore order.” She continued to follow him, heading toward the blinding blue light that seems to be traveling downwards in an infinite loop. Suddenly she was filled with anger at his words. Fucking bastard._

_“By wiping out organic life?” Finally the little bastard stopped and turned around to look at her, his eyes show his contempt for her. They still thought she was powerless._

_“No,” he ground out. “We harvest advanced civilizations leaving the younger ones alone.” He starting walking again and she groaned in pain. “Just as we left your civilization alive the last time we were here.”_

_“But you killed the rest!” she cried as she hobbled towards him, trying to keep up._

_“We helped them ascend so they could make way for new life, storing the old life in Reaper form.” He stopped again and looked up at a giant Reaper to prove his point. She wanted to strangle this corporeal form in front of her._

_“I think we’d rather keep our own form,” she said breathlessly. She was bleeding out and that was one of the number one causes of death for soldiers. She’d be damned if she was going to die here and now before destroying those giant, metal bastards. He looked up at her in slight shock at her words._

_“No, you can’t. Without us to stop it, synthetics would destroy all organics. We’ve created the cycle so that it never happens. That’s the solution.” That was probably one of the dumbest things she had ever heard._

_“But you’re taking away our future. Without a future we have no hope. Without hope, we might as well be machines; programmed to do what we’re told.” He looked away from her and back out to the raging war that he refused to see as the Reapers fault._

_“You have hope. More than you think. The fact that you are standing here, the first organic ever, proves it.” Well at least he acknowledged her accomplishment. “But it also proves my solution won’t work anymore.” No shit, she thought angrily, gritting her teeth against the pain._

_“So now what?”_

_“We find a new solution.” She looked at his back for a moment, confused._

_“Why are you telling me this? Why help me?” He looked back at her again._

_“You have altered the variables.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“The Crucible changed me,” he said turning to look at the infinitely looping blue light coming from the Crucible. “Created new… possibilities. But I can’t make them happen. If there is to be a new solution, you must act. It is now in your power to destroy us.” She looked toward the conduit he looked at. “But be warned. Others will be destroyed as well. The Crucible will not discriminate. All synthetic life will be targeted. Even you are partly synthetic.” Although she knew he was right, she couldn’t think of any reason not to destroy the Reapers. They deserved it, but she needed more information than that._

_“What exactly will happen?”_

_“Your Crucible device appears to be largely intact. However, the effects of the blast will not be constrained to the Reapers. Technology you rely on will be affected, but those who survive should have little difficulty in repairing the damage. There will still be losses, but no more than what has already been lost.” That answer was just as vague as the first._

_“But the Reapers will be destroyed?”_

_“Yes, but the peace won’t last. Soon your children will create synthetics and then the chaos will come back.” Perhaps there was another way, except for the simple fact that he was forgetting that she had already made peace between the Geth and the Quarians. She made her choice. She didn’t need to listen to anymore._

_She hoped EDI would forgive her and that the Geth would forgive her too. She chose to destroy the monstrous bastards._

“Shepard? Shepard are you alright?” She broke out of her memory at the sound of Miranda’s voice. She looked at her. “Jesus, Shepard what happened?” She swallowed, trying to wet her dry throat, shaking away the memory.

“I was remembering something.”

“What was it? I mentioned EDI and you practically fell into a catatonic state,” she asked, her voice laced with worry. Shepard rubbed the side of her face, something she did when she was thinking, and looked back at Miranda, her brows still lowered over her eyes.

“When I was on the Citadel, I spoke to someone. Something maybe. It was the Intelligence that Leviathan created. They said they were the Catalyst. They said that if I destroyed the Reapers it would also destroy all synthetic life which includes EDI and the Geth. If EDI is alive then I failed,” she answered in barely more than a whisper. Miranda immediately reached out a hand and grabbed hers squeezing it.

“Shepard, no. You didn’t fail. Tali found a way to fix EDI. EDI was more or less dead, but she is fixed, thanks to our little Quarian genius,” she said urgently. “You didn’t fail, Commander.” Shepard looked at her, a million questions flying through her head. “I’m not going to pry about what happened on the Citadel. You’ll tell me on your own terms but I know of something that can cheer you up and perhaps convince you that you didn’t fail.” She cast Miranda a questioning eye.

“What could that be?” Miranda hopped up and began pulling the sheets off of her. She turned and pulled out a wheelchair from behind the curtain and helped Shepard into, carefully hooking her IV to the pole.

“It’s a surprise.” Shepard wasn’t really a surprise type of person, but it was worth a shot. Carefully Miranda wheeled her out of the room and down the hall.

“Is this really necessary? I can walk. Your cybernetic implants are a miracle worker you know,” she said, looking up at Miranda and smiling at her.

“Let’s not push your healing abilities just yet. Besides, once we’re at our destination then you can stand and I’ll give you some privacy.” Privacy? What the hell was she talking about? They stopped in front of two large doors guarded by some Alliance soldiers, who looked too young to have to be serving, and Miranda nodded at them as they opened the doors for them, saluting Shepard. “Alright, when you’re ready just press this button. I’ll be outside waiting until you’re done. Or I might go pester Jack.” Shepard laughed and watched Miranda disappear through the doors.

Slowly she stood, getting dizzy at first before getting her balance back. She looked at the console in front of her which was blinking at her. This was a comm-link. Curiosity finally took over and she pressed it. It took a moment for a full connection to be established but when it was ready she smiled and leaned forward towards the person standing in front of her swathed in blue, the War Room on the Normandy clearly visible in the background.

“Shepard?” the voice answered. “Shepard is that really you?”

“It’s me, Garrus. It’s really me.”

 

 

 

 


	7. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard and Garrus get some time to talk via comm-link and it doesn’t go quite as planned. We also get a glimpse at Shepard’s mother, Hannah, and her reaction and questioning about her daughter’s whereabouts.

**Author’s Notes** : I really hope everyone enjoyed the last chapter and wasn’t completely turned off by the threesome between Shepard, Garrus and Tali. Obviously, like I wrote in the chapter, I got the idea from Tali when she was sitting on the bathroom floor in her drunken state. Tali is a favorite character of mine and I always felt that Female Shepard should have been able to romance her, so I thought that was a good way to give readers a bit of what they wanted. As always, please enjoy this and leave me a review! I love and long for feedback as it fuels my writing and helps me with new ideas and whatnot.

**Disclaimer** : I own and want for nothing. Bioware and EA control all the rights to the Mass Effect series and franchise. I just wish I could have a part of it that was truly mine. 

 

All along it was a fever  
A cold sweat hot-headed believer  
I threw my hands in the air and said, “Show me something,”  
He said, “If you dare come a little closer.”  
  
Round and around and around and around we go  
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know  
  
Not really sure how to feel about it.  
Something in the way you move  
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.  
It takes me all the way.  
I want you to stay  
  
It’s not much of a life you’re living  
It’s not just something you take – it’s given  
  
Round and around and around and around we go  
Oh now tell me now tell me now tell me now you know  
  
Not really sure how to feel about it.  
Something in the way you move  
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.  
It takes me all the way.  
I want you to stay.  
  
Ooh the reason I hold on  
Ooh cause I need this hole gone  
Funny you’re the broken one but I’m the only one who needed saving  
Cause when you never see the light it’s hard to know which one of us is caving  
  
Not really sure how to feel about it.  
Something in the way you move  
Makes me feel like I can’t live without you.  
It takes me all the way.  
I want you to stay, stay.  
I want you to stay, oh.

-Rihanna ft. Mikky Ekko

 

* * *

 

“Shepard?” EDI was trying to clean up the connection as best she could and so far all he could see was a blurry human shaped object. “Shepard is that you?” The image became clearer and he breathed a sigh of relief, his heart pounding against his chest as he took in every inch of her body bathed in blue. She had certainly seen better days, but it was her.

“It’s me, Garrus. It’s really me,” she said stepping forward so he could see her better. Her voice was hoarse and it cracked when she said his name, but hearing her say it after weeks of not hearing her voice was like eating Turian chocolate. He closed his eyes, wishing he could hold her in his arms, and let out a breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding.

“How are you feeling? Are you healing okay?” He had a million questions he wanted to ask but he decided it was better to wait for the answers he was seeking once he was back on Earth and he could touch her to make sure this person doused in blue light was truly his Shepard. She laughed a dry raspy laugh and smiled at him her eyes conveying how much she loved him.

“I’ve certainly felt better, but I’m doing okay. Miranda worked her magic and seemed to have gotten my cybernetics working so I’m healing fairly quickly,” she said, leaning against something for support. “But what about you? You look like you’ve seen better days. How is your side?” He smiled to himself. He rubbed the mentioned area and raised his brow plates at her.

“Not bad considering I almost got crushed by a Mako. You don’t need to worry about me, Shepard. Dr. Chakwas patched me up. I’m more concerned about your sling,” he said motioning with his hand at the mentioned member. Spirits, he wanted to touch her. He wasn’t sure if she blushed or not, it was hard to tell through the link, but she rubbed the back of her neck; a habit she had of doing when she was nervous.

“It’s nothing serious. Just a break, but it’ll heal in due time.” They stood in silence for a moment, their eyes looking over the other to assess any damage and just taking in the appearance of each other. “I hear that you’re trying to get the jump drives installed. Haven’t used them in a while. How’s it coming?”

“It would be faster if they had never been put as a back up and instead stayed installed,” he said, agitation marring his voice. He didn’t want to talk about the damn drives. He wanted to talk about her, to make sure she was truly okay, but he knew that was probably the last thing she wanted to talk about. She never wanted to talk about herself. He sighed and ran a hand over his face. “It looks like they are almost installed. I calibrated the drives as best I could, it’s not really my expertise, but EDI said that my calibrations were approximate.”

“Speaking of EDI, not to cut you off, but Miranda mentioned that something is wrong with her?” He noticed the worried lines that creased into her forehead and he wanted nothing more than to press his against hers and soothe her.

“We’re not sure what it is exactly and Joker’s frantic worrying isn’t helping either.” She gave him a soft smile.

“That’s love for you,” she murmured, shifting her weight and leaned her left hip against, presumably, the console, rubbing her right leg. Pain flickered across her face but it passed just as quickly as it had come. He looked away from her for a moment, his heart twisting in his chest. Even through the link she looked horrible. She looked thinner, if possible, then he remembered. He looked back at her and sighed.

“I know all too well. You should know that,” he said softly, his voice rumbling deep within his chest. She gave him another soft smile, her lips curving upwards and separating to show her blunt white teeth and coughed out a raspy laugh. It was hard seeing her like this. He’d hoped that seeing her would help, but he now felt that it was making it worse. He could see the long scar, however faint, running from her temple down to her chin.

Her hair was pulled back, not something she normally did, and her collar bones stuck out in a gruesome way, making his stomach churn. She had dark circles under her eyes which looked tired and not as bright as they normally were. She looked exhausted and broken. This wasn’t his girl, the love of his life, in front of him. This was someone else and he didn’t know how to deal with it, but for her sake he would be damned if he didn’t try.

“I know. And don’t think I have forgotten either. Does Tali have any idea what is wrong?” He was pulled away from his dark thoughts and shook his head.

“All her readings are coming out normal. Everything is running fine, but EDI can’t compute certain things. She’s not talking much either. She just sits up in the cockpit with Joker, doing whatever it is that she does, and only talks when she’s spoken to directly. It’s going to sound strange saying this, she is an AI, but she seems almost… depressed, Shepard.” She drew her brows together again and seemed to look past him. She looked at him with her “thinking face” and he had to bite back a smile; **that** was a flicker of the human woman he had fallen in love with. That was Commander Elizabeth Shepard.

“That’s not strange at all. What do you mean she can’t compute certain things? Like what? Has Liara tried filtering through all the Cerberus Intel to see if she can find something, anything, which would explain this?” Her mind drifted back to her conversation with the Catalyst, his words ringing in her head over and over again.

_“_ _The Crucible will not discriminate. All synthetic life will be targeted._ _Technology you rely on will be affected.”_

“Shepard,” Garrus said stepping forward as if he would touch her to bring her back to the present but stopped since he couldn’t. She looked up at him. “I’m guessing it has something to do with whatever happened with the Crucible. After you did whatever you did she went offline. One example is she can’t predict how many jumps it will take to get us to Earth and the fact that she didn’t even think of using the jump drives until I mentioned it. Normally I would have said to go see Chakwas but considering she’s just a robot there is nothing Chakwas can do. Only Tali and Liara can help her right now.” Shepard shook her head at words, bowing her head he voice barely louder than a whisper. When she looked back at him, her eyes were glistening.

“She wasn’t offline Garrus. She was dead, just like the Geth. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make to ensure the Reapers were destroyed. It was a selfish act. Action, reaction. That’s what this is.” He shook his head. He didn’t understand.

“Shepard I don’t-“

“I know you don’t and I don’t have the time or the energy to explain it either. I’m sorry,” she said cutting him off with frustration creeping into the edges of her voice. She glanced to the side and back at him, a grim look on her face. “I had options and that was what I chose. Just see what Liara can learn from the Cerberus Intel. Try to get in touch with the scientists who were working on the Crucible and see what they know. I’ll talk to Kasumi. There has to be a way to fix this,” she said, mostly to herself. A dark look flickered over her face and settled in her brow, her eyes looking off somewhere distant.

He drew his brow plates down and looked at her, trying to understand what she was saying but she wasn’t making any sense. Options? What options? What sacrifice did she make and how did it tie into the current situation? This Shepard he was very acquainted with. She was shutting down and slipping into Commander mode, shutting everyone out. Including him. It made him angry. They were a team. She had said it herself, _“There’s no Shepard without Vakarian”._ He hated this. The distance, the cold shoulder.

“Shepard just talk to me,” he ground out, his voice rising slightly. She tossed him a look that said “drop it” but he refused. Deep down he knew he was being unfair, he had no idea what she had been through or what she had seen, but he needed something. Anything would be better than the fucking vague explanations that had little to no help. “You don’t have to tell me what happened now, that can come later, but I need something to help me try to understand.” Her jaw clenched and a muscle started twitching in her cheek. She crossed her good arm over her chest, tucking it underneath the sling and leaned back on her feet.

“What would you have me tell you Garrus? Nothing I say would help you. None of it would make sense. I can barely make sense of it myself! Until I can understand it, this is a need to know. I’ve told you all you _need_ to know,” she spoke darkly through gritted teeth. His brow plates rose in shock then his blood began to boil slightly, anger radiating off of him.

“ _Need_ to know? What I _need_ to know is what you know about EDI and the Geth is we’re going to fix this mess,” he growled back, his hands clenching into fists as he crossed his arms over his chest. She shook her head and ran her fingers over her forehead as if she was getting a headache.

“I don’t know anything else.” He blew out an angry breath and leaned forward slightly.

“You said it was a sacrifice you were willing to make. What does that mean? What else is there?”

“I already told you-“

“Quit lying to me Shepard!” he cried angrily, his voice getting louder to an almost shout. “I can’t help fix this bullshit if you don’t talk to me. **You** did this; you have to have a better explanation to fix what **you** did to put us in this mess.” She stepped back and felt like he had slapped her. She stared at him, her mouth open slightly, in shock. Immediately he wished he could take back his words. It wasn’t what he meant. Her mouth snapped shut and her eyes crackled with a fire he’d never seen before. She stepped forward and laid her hands on the console.

“What **I** did was save the entire galaxy. **I** made certain that life, all life, prevailed. Sacrificing all synthetic life was the only decision I could stomach. You want to know what happened to me up there? You want to know Garrus?” Her eyes were burning with such intensity he’d never seen before. Through the link he could tell that she was using her biotics. The anger she was directing at him was beyond pure anger, she was enraged and furious. He raised his hands and shook his head.

“Shepard I’m-”

“No!” she cried and something behind her shattered. She had to let it out. To tell someone. Anyone. She felt like she was exploding from the inside out. Before she could stop herself, her words were tumbling from her mouth like water cascading down a waterfall. “You asked, Vakarian. Now you’re going to stand there and listen to me. Before I was shot up into the beam towards the Citadel I was hit by Harbinger. I made it to the beam and was shot up to who knows where. I felt like I was being controlled by a force that wasn’t my own. Maybe I was being indoctrinated, I’ll never know and that,” she said pointing at him. “That bothers me. It bothers me to not know what the fuck was happening to me.” She looked away from him, licking her dried lips.

“ _I_ shot Anderson. I didn’t want to but I had no control over my body. Do you know what that’s like? To be completely aware of what is going on but to have no control over your actions? Something made me shoot Anderson. I killed him. And then I killed the Illusive Man for trying to control the Reapers, for trying to control me, for fucking up the mission on Thessia.” He stood in silence while she spoke, his heart aching for her. He voice cracked when she spoke about Anderson. She had tears of anger in her eyes. “I watched Anderson die next to me. Whatever was trying to control me stopped when I killed the Illusive Man, but the damage was done. Then Hackett was talking to me, telling me that nothing was happening with the Crucible. I tried to get to the console but the pain was too much. I was bleeding out. I felt like death and I wanted to die.” She got quiet for a moment, bowing her head in anguish. When she looked up at him again, she looked broken. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear anymore but she continued to talk.

“I gave up,” she said swallowing a lump in her throat. “The great Commander fucking Shepard gave up and I collapsed. Next thing I know I’m in this area with this incessant blue light streaming down. That little boy, the one I saw on Earth, was standing in front of me telling me to wake up. It wasn’t the little boy; he said he was the Catalyst. He was the Intelligence that Leviathan created which started the harvesting of all organics every fifty-thousand years.” She stopped speaking and looked as if her mind was somewhere else.

“We spoke about Leviathan, the Reapers and the purpose of the Harvest. He said it was to prevent chaos. Chaos that began with organics creating synthetics because the created will always rebel against their creators, that’s what he said. He refused to see that I had made peace with the Geth. He didn’t understand organics and that-that was his failing, but he didn’t see it. He talked about his solution which was to wipe us out, all organic life but said that it wouldn’t work anymore. He gave me three options. I could destroy them, I could control them, or I could synthesize with them. He told me what the consequences of each were and I, alone, decided that the ramifications of destroying them were better than the alternatives.” She drew in a deep shuddering breath and squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head slowly. She opened her eyes, running her tongue over her cracked lips, and wiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks angrily.

Garrus stared at her. He felt frozen to the ground listening to what she was saying, hanging on every word. His heart was pounding against his chest, his palms were sweating but he didn’t say anything. He let her continue to speak, to let out whatever she needed to let out.

“Destroying the Reapers would lead to the destruction and genocide of all synthetic life. It would severally damage the Mass Relays but he said that certain technology could be fixed. I would survive with this choice. He told me that I could control the Reapers. That they would obey me but that I would die and I would lose everything. I couldn’t trust him. I couldn’t trust that they would obey me every word and command. My last option that he gave me was synthesis. That was, what he tried to tell me, was the final evolution of all species. Synthetics and organics would become one.” She paused and looked at him, her eyes full of sorrow and despair and it was killing him.

 “But who was I to make that choice for all sapient life? What would that do us? Would we all lose our humanity? Would we still have the same feelings, emotions and thought processes as organics do? He said that my essence, my very being, would be expelled into the galaxy and I would take his place as a corporeal form on the Citadel. I would forever be alone. And I was a coward. I didn’t want to die or become some goddamned ghost. I couldn’t make those decisions. So I chose to destroy them and wipe out all synthetic life because we could create them again and not make the same mistakes we did the first time around. I didn’t want to lose you, Garrus. I couldn’t.” Her voice broke and she began crying in earnest, her body shaking from the sobbing.

He would have given anything to have been able to hold her in his arms tightly and try to take away her pain. His heart constricted seeing her like that. He didn’t know what to say or do to make it better. He was billions of miles away from her. He’d never, not once in the years that he had known or loved her, seen her cry. He could deal with her anger and he loved her happiness, but this was something else altogether. He felt inadequate standing there watching the woman he desperately loved, and would do anything in the galaxy for, sob and it made him furious that he couldn’t be there with her.

“Shepard,” he said quietly once her sobbing had stopped. She looked up at him with her dark eyes, tear streaked face and took a deep breath. “You’re anything but a coward. You did the impossible and accomplished what no one else ever could have.  You never gave up believing that the Reapers were real and were a true threat to all galactic life. You went to Ilos, you saved the Council when even they didn’t believe you. You made it back from a suicide mission through the Omega-4 relay because you believed that it would help. You sacrificed an entire Batarian system to ensure you delayed the Reapers. You, only you, delayed the Reaper invasion twice. You cured the genophage to save the Krogans because my people needed them and you made peace with the Geth for the Quarians. You saved the Rachni. You convinced Leviathan to join the war because you proved that they couldn’t hide any longer. You and Aria took back Omega from the Illusive Man because it was under heavy Cerberus control and it would help the Alliance. You stopped the Cerberus Coup. You were the only one who could open Javik’s stasis pod and you convinced him to join us. Single handedly did you, and only you, bring all of the species in the galaxy together to fight the Reapers when no one else in the galaxy could have ever done that. You are not a coward because you didn’t want to die. You are not a coward because you couldn’t trust or believe what the Catalyst said. You are a savior. You saved everyone. You saved me, Elizabeth.”

She gave him a soft smile, her eyes still leaking tears and gave a quiet laugh. She turned at the sound of Miranda’s voice and when she turned back to him she sighed. “I have to go. I need to get my dressings changed and the connection won’t last much longer.” He nodded, not wanting to say goodbye. “I love you Garrus.”

“I love you too. You know that, don’t know you?”

“Of course I do. You’re one of the only people in this galaxy that made it worth fighting for. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She gave him one last smile. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Don’t you doubt otherwise, love of my life.” She laughed and he stood there watching as her image shifted then disappeared from his view.

He wasn’t sure what to make of what Shepard had told him. He wasn’t even sure that he completely understood everything she had said. It didn’t make much sense, but he guessed that to fully understand he would have had to have been there. It didn’t matter now. All he could do was try to figure out, with the help of Tali, EDI and Liara, how to fix the problem with EDI so they don’t run into the same problem with the Geth, especially with Admiral Xen, the cold hearted bitch. When he was alone he’d have to contemplate what Shepard said, but for now he had to talk to Tali. He needed to tell her what Shepard said. Maybe it would shed some light onto the situation for her and she would think of something he couldn’t.

It was worth a shot no matter what and at least he had gotten to see Shepard. It wasn’t the reunion he had wanted or even hoped for but it was something. He got to hear her voice and see her. Now all he could do is bide his time until he could hold her and caress every inch of her body to ensure that she was okay and there was nothing seriously wrong with her. But for now, he had more important things to do. He could fantasize about her later.

They needed to fix EDI and fix her fast.

 

* * *

 

“Where is she?” Admiral Hackett turned at the furious voice his eyebrows raised. “Don’t give me that goddamned look; tell me where the hell she is right now!”

“Admiral Shepard you need to calm-” Her dark green eyes flashed and he was reminded in that very instant that Commander Shepard was truly the daughter of Admiral Hannah Shepard.

“Don’t tell me to calm down Steven! She’s my **_daughter_**! I have a right, as a mother, to know where she is and what is being done about finding her,” Hannah cried, angry tears streaming down her face. She collapsed in a chair near her, her body wracked in sobs. He ended the vid-call swiftly as he tossed the datapad in his hands onto the nearby desk and quickly strode across the room to hear, kneeling at her feet and gently taking her smaller hand in his.

“Hannah, she’s fine. I promise,” he said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest. He stroked her grey streaked red hair and forced her to look at him, his blue eyes piercing her forest green ones. “I promise you that Elizabeth is safe.” She tossed her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder.

“She’s my baby Steven. My baby girl.” He wrapped his arms around her back, rubbing his hands in circles, and kissed her hair softly.

“I know,” he murmured into her ear. She pulled back and looked at him, her hair sticking to her face from the tears.

“Where is she?” she asked thickly, sniffing and swallowing. He kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair away from her face.

“She’s on Earth in the care of Miranda Lawson. I’ve been receiving status updates on her whereabouts and condition from Dr. T’Soni as soon as she gets them.” She closed her eyes and blew out a deep breath. She opened her eyes, biting her lip and looked at him.

“Can I talk to her? Can I see her? I have to know that my daughter is okay. I spent two years mourning her death because you told me she died. I had a funeral for my child, my _baby_ , and then I found out that she was alive because of faulty intel. I can’t go through that again, Steven.” He brought her head down to his and planted a soft kiss on her lips, wiping the tears from her cheeks and gave her a small smile.

“I will work something out even if I have to contact the scientists who were working on building the Crucible.” She breathed out a sigh of relief. She gave him a startled look, thinking of something.

“What about the Normandy? Did they make it? Garrus? She’ll die if he didn’t make it,” she quickly said. He shushed her by placing a finger on her lips.

“The Normandy is on their way to Earth but we have no idea how they managed to initiate their stealth drives and slip away from the rendezvous point without anyone noticing,” he said, enunciating every word and conveying his meaning with his eyes. “As far as the Normandy’s crew goes, everyone made it off of Earth. Including Garrus. Their Reaper IFF came in handy it seems. You know Garrus is spearheading this act of rebellion.” She laughed and nodded. She ran her hand through his short dark grey hair and fiddled with the collar on his dress blues.

“That’s a relief to hear. She loves him very much, from what I gathered by her emails. I never expected her to fall in love with a Turian. What happened on Earth, Steven?” He sighed and sat back on his heels, shaking his head.

“I don’t know. All I know is that whatever she did, it worked. As far as I know she hasn’t spoken to anyone about what happened on the Citadel either except to say that Admiral Anderson has passed away.” She blinked back unshed tears and sighed, leaning back against the chair she was sitting in.

“Anderson was a great man. The galaxy is lesser for his loss. He was a good friend,” she said, wiping the tears off her cheeks looking up at the ceiling of his cabin peering at the stars in the night sky. He moved to sit next to her, pulling her against his chest and resting his chin on the top of her head.

“He was my best friend if I ever had one. He loved Shepard very much.” She chuckled and he pulled back to look at her as she looked into his face.

“You still call her Shepard.” He made a face and she laughed.

“Old habits die hard, my dear.” She pushed up and gave him a soft kiss.

“You’re right though. He always made excuses for her even when he shouldn’t have. He was always there to back her when she needed someone the most.”

“He died for her. I don’t think he would have had it any other way.” They sat in silence together, enjoying each other’s company, remembering Admiral Anderson, before he spoke. “What do you mean when you say that you never expected her to fall in love with a Turian? Is it really that surprising coming from her?” She laughed a soft, quiet laugh and shook her head.

“I suppose not. I think that, for me, it’s surprising because of the First Contact war. I remember it. She wasn’t born yet so for her aliens are all she ever knew. From what I have heard about him, from her and various resources, he’s an amazing man. I more or less expected her to stay with Liara. She really cared about her.”

“Makes sense, but he was always there for her. They are very similar in many ways. They are both hard-headed for one.”

“She always was stubborn.” He chuckled, picturing Shepard as a young child. She glance at the clock and sighed.

“I need to get back to my duties. I have recruits to check on and more things to do than I care to.” He groaned and pulled her closer to him, pressing his mouth against her ear.

“Stay with me. Those duties can wait. Admiral’s orders.” She gave him a look of surprise and her face crinkled into a bright smile.

“I’m tempted, but you also have to find a way for me to see my daughter,” she said, patting his leg and standing, straightening her clothes, smoothing down the front of her blouse. He sighed.

“Alright, you made your point. But we will be catching up as soon as we are able, correct?” She gave him an impish grin and ran her hands through her hair.

“Of course,” she said, turning and heading towards the door. She stopped and looked at him over her shoulder. “I love you Steven.” He smiled as he grabbed the datapad and looked at her.

“I love you too.”

She walked out, the door closing quietly behind her and he returned to his desk. He had to find a way to get in touch with Shepard. He pressed a button and Liara’s face appeared.

“Admiral Hackett,” she said with a smile. “What can I do for you?”

“I need to get in touch with Shepard. Can you help?” She smiled at him, her eyes glowing.

“Of course, Admiral. I am the Shadow Broker after all.”

"Good. Let's get to work then." 

 

 

 

 


	8. Primarch Vakarian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spanning over a few days time we get a look at Liara, Javik and Garrus.

**Author’s Notes** : I love all the reviews that I got and am thrilled that everyone is still enjoying my mediocre story. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! I hope you enjoy this one as well!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing as all of it belongs to Bioware.

 

* * *

 

“By the Goddess,” Liara muttered tapping her console angrily, her lips turning up in a smile despite her anger remembering Garrus making fun of her. She shook her head and bent down searching for the wire that was culprit of her frustration. Her eyes landed on a thick black braided cord that ran from the base of the console towards the right near her message terminal. Reaching she grasped it and tugged on it gently. The minicomputer slid from the desk and bounced off the floor landing somewhere near the door. Grasping the cord she maneuvered it up and hooked it over a thin metal bar so she could easily reach it to plug it back in, but it fell instead. “Dammit!” She sighed and went to stand but a voice startled her making her jump and she clipped her head on the desk sending a shockwave of pain through her. She pressed her hand against the pain and smacked the side of the desk in anger. She leaned back on her heels, waiting for the pain to subside and looked at the source of the voice.

“Troubles, Asari?” He leaned down and picked up her computer, turning it in his hands and glanced at her. Inwardly she groaned. Now was certainly not the time for his smartass comments about her being incapable of doing even the smallest of things because she was a primitive. Again she tried to maneuver the cord and this time the blasted thing stayed right where she wanted it.

“I have a name, Javik. I would prefer it if you would use it instead of insisting on calling me Asari.” She laid her hand on the desk, using it to lift herself from the floor and stood. She used her thumb and index to rub the bridge of her nose trying to alleviate some of the pain from her headache. She jumped slightly at a light pressure on her arm and looked at Javik.

“You’re right. I’m-I’m sorry, Liara,” he said handing her the minicomputer. She gave him a small smile and took the offered object, setting it back down on the desk. She reached for the cord but his hand stopped her and she looked at him. “Here. Let me help you.” She raised her eyebrows at him as he turned and gracefully plugged the cord into her computer then turned it on for her. Recently his behavior towards her had changed and she was still trying to work it out in her mind.

Normally he usually treated her coldly, dismissing her questions of the Protheans with anger and irritation, but since Shepard’s party on the Citadel he had been calling her on the intercom to talk for no apparent reason, showing up at her door with a cup of tea claiming that he had made too much for himself. She found this odd and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. On more than one occasion Tali had told her that Javik had asked about her or called her to ask questions about her. When she had asked Tali what the conversations entailed she was ether vague or would start giggling which confused her even more.

After a mission from Admiral Hackett, before their assault on the Illusive Man’s base, Shepard had seen her in the mess hall and told her that Javik was looking for her. When she asked for what reason all she had done was smile and mutter something about her blue eyes and voice then went on to find Garrus to presumably relieve tension or at least that was what Shepard and Garrus had always told everyone when asked why they spent so much time in between missions hanging out in the gun battery. Tali and Joker would always start laughing hysterically when she asked what they could possibly be doing in the gun battery to relieve tension but never actually answered her questions.

She turned her thoughts back to Javik who was standing unnecessarily close to her, glanced at him, and quickly typed in her password. He was standing there watching her and it was making her quite nervous. She inhaled through her nose, catching the scent of his cologne and it made her stomach flutter. He smelled like the forests on Thessia mixed with leather and something spicy though she couldn’t place her finger on it. She exhaled quickly, trying to deny what she was feeling and turned away from the computer to look at him.

“Is there something I can help you with?” she asked. He gave her a ghost of a smile, showing his pointed eye teeth, and chuckled. He looked at her and tilted his head, his eyes narrowing slightly. Nervously she felt herself flush, her cheeks getting hot under his gaze.

“Am I making you nervous?” As best she could she gave a small laugh that was intended to sound more irritated than breathless and crossed her arms over her chest trying to hide her sweating hands. She swallowed and leaned back.

“Of course not.” The look he gave her told her that he didn’t believe her, but he didn’t press her and for that she was thankful. He looked over his shoulder at Glyph then back to her.

“Your drone is quiet today,” he stepped towards her, closing the space between them and she felt her heartbeat pounding against her chest. He was quiet for a moment, continuing to look at her. His gaze was beginning to unnerve her as well as his closeness. She swallowed reflexively and glanced at the incessant blinking green light her terminal alerting her to new messages.

Before her computer had been unplugged she had been trying to figure out a way to boost the signal from Admiral Hackett’s ship to Earth and it was proving to be a difficult challenge. While she was researching quantum entanglements she had enlisted the help of the highly qualified and skilled Specialist Traynor. Traynor had droned at her for forty-five minutes about interfaces, communicators and other tech laced information that Liara knew nothing about before leaving and seeking out EDI and Tali telling Liara over her shoulder that contacting the scientists would also help.

Staring at the blinking light reminded her that there were important emails for Tali from the Admiralty Board that needed forwarding as well as classified and urgent marked messages for Garrus from Councilor Sparatus and despite her immense curiosity she had not opened them respecting their privacy.

She was broken out of her thoughts when Javik reached towards her suddenly, encircling her wrists with his fingers and bowed his head. She had never felt anything like this as she was forced to the melding of their minds, feeling as if the breath was knocked out of her as their memories, thoughts, and feelings were exchanged.

She closed her eyes, quickly trying to regain her balance, pushing back against his mind and embraced the melding. She saw images bright and beautiful of the Protheans passing by her as he searched for something, probing her mind, reading her body. He threw information at her at an alarming rate, things she had always wondered about his species were answered and she felt breathless.

She grasped his arms, digging her fingers into his flesh and held on. She dug deeper into his mind but slammed into a hard wall unable to penetrate it. She tried working her way around this wall and found small way inside, pushing her limits and felt the most overwhelming amount of pain crush her, leaving her gasping as it washed over her scalding her.

He jerked away immediately, pulling his hands away having found what he was searching for and stared at her as emotions flickered over his face and through his eyes, too fast for her to decipher what they meant. She stared at him, panting heavily and as he finally settled on a stoic expression.

“What? What was-”

“It does not matter as it appears I was wrong,” he said through gritted teeth. “You love the Commander.” It wasn’t a question but a simple statement and for reasons unknown to her she felt guilty and wanted to explain to him but he turned away, anger radiating from him and she reached grabbing his arm.

“Javik,” she tried but he shook off her hand and strode out of her room without a backward glance.

 The last thing she had expected was for him to read her, but the forced melding of their minds left her reeling. She should have felt violated. Instead all she wanted to do was go to him, soothe away the pain she had encountered, and figure out what he had been searching for.

He had been throwing pictures and information at her to keep her distracted while he searched her mind and it had worked. Closing her eyes, she sank to the floor and went over everything that had just happened. What was he looking for? What had been so important that he had melded with her so violently?

She leaned back against the desk and wondered at his anger. He melded with her, took things from her mind without kindness, gave things to her forcibly, and he was angry? What did he mean that he was wrong? Wrong about what? She tried to find what he was looking for but came up with nothing. She could find no rhyme or reason for what just happened let alone his sudden anger at her. She sighed, momentarily giving up but determined to get answers.

For now, however, she needed to help Admiral Hackett and forward those messages. 

 

* * *

 

He was a fool. A fool to think that she- no, he would not think about it, he told himself staring at his reflection in the water. No matter what he tried to think about, his thoughts kept betraying him and in sheer frustration he slammed his hands against the water basin watching as the water splashed against the sides and spilled over the edge.

His plan had been laid out and all the edges had been smoothed away. He was to return to Eden Prime and live out the rest of his days there or until he decided that he didn’t want to continue any longer, but when Joker had offered to drop him off, as per his request, he couldn’t go. He couldn’t force himself to leave the confines of the Normandy or to leave her behind.

_That damned Asari ruined it all_ , he thought angrily. He had told Shepard on more than one occasion that his purpose on this ship was to destroy the Reapers, not to make friends or more with himself and the crew but at some point, and that particular point eluded him, he began to care for the crew as friends and more despite his best efforts to ignore them and their personal lives.

It wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be. Shepard was always coming down to talk to him, Liara was constantly calling or visiting him for various reasons, Tali had even called him as well as the Krogan, Wrex, and he even found himself considering Garrus a good friend and comrade must to his disbelief. The more he thought about them, talked to them, and listened to them he realized how empty he had felt but would never have dared to admit that to anyone of them except perhaps Shepard.

Commander Shepard. Now that was someone he greatly respected on more than one level. He had thought her to be naïve at first with her childish views on Synthetics but she had proved him wrong and he was willing to admit it. He didn’t think she had it in her to be the Commanding Officer that her crew claimed her to be. He was surprised and shocked to learn that she was more than capable. After learning that she had stopped a Reaper invasion twice, single handedly, made him curious about her so he used the extranet to research her. He even went as far as talking to the crew. Every single one of them had never doubted her, except for the human biotic, Kaidan he believed his name was.

He was more than surprised to learn that Garrus, Tali and Joker had been the only ones to have stayed with her from the beginning. Shepard had a fire about her and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he had never had the same fire she possessed when he lead his own people in the war against the Reapers. She had an air about her that exuded confidence. She was always calm with the very occasional outbursts. She never spoke without thinking about what she would say. She could talk down anyone and that was something he liked about her.

When she would take him with her on missions it astounded him at the amount of respect she received from people of all species. The Turians even admired her, even looked up to her as if hoping they could be half the warrior she was. The Quarians who, even in his time had been a quiet and shy people, hung onto her every word and seemed to trust her decision. Once coming to the realization that she was bonded with Garrus he began to understand why he always looked so full of pride that it literally shined off of him when people seemed to forget themselves and stammer at her in their happiness to see her and be able to talk to the great Commander Shepard or rush up to her to thank her. She was one of a very few number that he was willing to die for or with. He, like her crew, would follow her into hell and back with no regrets and he thanked her for opening is stasis pod.

He couldn’t blame her for Liara’s feelings since he knew that hers were not reciprocated but he still felt some slight animosity towards her. He wanted, no _needed_ Liara to feel the same about him and it angered him that she was in love with Shepard when she was not wanted. He didn’t understand how she could harbor such strong emotions for her knowing that Shepard had made her decision to bond with Garrus.

How could she not see that he had feelings for her? He thought in frustration turning around, grabbing his memory shard and hurling it across the room in anger. It hit the wall and clattered to the floor and he stared at it, breathing heavily.

He couldn’t get her out of his head no matter what he tried to do. He had tried to help Tali with EDI, despite his prejudice against AIs, even offered to help Garrus with his calibrations and worked out with Vega while trying to ignore the looks from the shuttle pilot Cortez and went so far as to play poker with the men slamming drinks with all of them, Garrus included, afterwards.

No matter what he did he still sought her out and tried to talk to her, keeping his comments at a minimum. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her blue ones looking at him, heard her voice when she wasn’t in the room. He believed he was going insane. He leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, his head in between hi s knees, crushing his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.

He refused to put a name to the feelings he was having and perhaps, in retrospect, it was causing his distress. If this was love then he wanted to crush it and toss it into the area of his mind where he shoved all the pain of losing his friends, family and squad mates. The part of his mind that he sealed off, the same part he had felt Liara trying to work into before he broke his connection with her after learning of her love for the Commander and how deep it actually ran through her.

He groaned, slamming his head against the wall behind him, kicking his legs out in front of him. He knew he should probably attempt to apologize for violating her privacy, taking her memories, thoughts and feelings without warning or explanation but what would he say? The truth? He scoffed at the idea, picturing her laughing at him, pointing at him and cruelly turning him away saying he was deluding himself.

_You could have just asked her of her feelings for the Commander_ , a tiny annoying voice in the back of his mind threw at him. He brushed it away, ignoring it. That wasn’t the only thing he had looked for while he had been inside her mind and was pleasantly surprised to find that she was not the perfect woman she tried so hard to be as well as how hard she tried to bury her guilt and pain of losing her mother, the woman who betrayed her species and deluded herself into thinking she could guide the Turian to a more righteous path and failed causing her own death which was meaningless.

_Admit what else you found_ , the voice piped up again reverberating through his brain. He shook his head slowly.

_There was nothing else you interminable witling!_ The voice barked out a sarcastic laugh making him grit his teeth, his anger slowly returning.

_Liar. Admit it._ He growled and slammed his hand against the floor ignoring the blinding pain that shot up into his arm. _You felt it. You know it was there, why must you persist in convincing yourself otherwise?_

_It was not enough_. He finally admitted, rubbing his hand and leaned his head back against the wall.

_No?_

_No. Now leave me be._

_Anything is better than nothing_.

He looked at the water on the floor wondering if the voice was gone for a moment before pushing himself up, grabbing a cloth and beginning to clean it up. The voice was right, despite his best attempts at ignoring it but her love for Shepard was too strong to even entertain the thought. He half expected the voice to come back but it was quiet inside his head.

He stood up and tossed the rag to the side, wiping his hands on his armor. He had to talk to her he decided. But first he needed to speak to someone who had firsthand knowledge of this, this thing whatever it was. He knew he couldn’t just barge into her personal space, again, and demand answers and reveal his feelings.

With his mind made up he strode from the room heading towards the gun battery. 

 

* * *

 

Garrus stood in the front of the comm-link waiting for the connection to be established, his palms sweating and thought back to Shepard’s words.

_“I noticed Generals saluting you, Garrus. How far down the line of succession are you these days?” He away from her for a moment._

_“Let’s not go there.”_

_“Why not? I’ve seen you in action. Think about it… “Primarch Vakarian: honored war hero”. Somebody’s going to need to rebuild Palaven when this is over.”_

_“Your confidence is… inspiring. But it’ll have to be someone who knows how to hold a hammer.”_

And yet, here he stood waiting for his connection to the Councilor to give him his decision. He had received and urgent message from Councilor Sparatus who had informed him that Primarch Adrien Victus had been declared killed in action and he was now in line for the seat of Primarch. He opened his omni-tool to read through his email once again still doubting whether he was correct or not.

_I know that this is not an easy decision for you to make and I am very aware of how this will be difficult for you, given the simple fact that the Relays have been badly damaged but you have proven yourself on more than one occasion. Your actions in 2183 coupled with your determination to ready our people for the war against the Reapers have shown that you are more than capable and ready to handle this responsibility. I admit that I was among the many who dismissed your claims and had no faith in you and for that I am regretful, but you are the sole ray of hope for our people._

_Our people, our way of life and the continuity of our civilization are now in your hands. I believe that you can lead our people and guide them in these dark times, Officer Vakarian. Our people look up to you as they have no other before. You along with Commander Shepard and the crew of the SSV Normandy have done more than anyone could have ever asked of you. You alone saved the entire galaxy from certain extinction. I ask that you consider this off and give me your answer in the next 24 hours._

He was brought out of his revere by the blinking light and stepped forward taking in a deep breath. He briefly wondered what Shepard would think. He pressed the blue light.

“Officer Vakarian, it’s a pleasure to you,” Sparatus said, clasping his hands together in front of him.

“Councilor,” he nodded at him.

“Have you considered what I wrote to you about?” Garrus shifted his weight and nodded. “Very good. And your decision?” For a moment Garrus considered turning and running back to the gun battery but instead found himself stuck to the ground as his words left his mouth even when he was not entirely certain.

“I accept.” The Councilor exhaled deeply and then smiled at him.

“I am very glad to hear it. Preparations will be underway. I will personally be letting the fleets know that you are now the new Primarch and should be treated as such. As soon as we are able we will hold a ceremonial service, presumably on Earth.”

“Councilor, are you sure you want me to be the new Primarch? Surely there are others who are more qualified than I am.” The Councilor chuckled and gave him a knowing look.

“Had I not believed that you were ready I would have found someone else. Now, Primarch Vakarian I must get back to my duties. If there is nothing else I would suggest, and this is merely a suggestion, that you begin to try and establish a connection to the Fleets and work out the logistics of reforming the Hierarchy. I will forward as many dossiers as I can. If you _ever_ need me feel no hesitation in contacting me. Good day and good luck, Primarch.”

The link was severed and Garrus was left standing there not having any idea how to feel. He wanted to talk to Shepard but was told that was not going to be possible again until they reach Earth. Liara was vague in her answers as to why which frustrated him, but told him that she was dealing with the Alliance and Council.

He had little more than a week until they were at Earth and if he couldn’t see her he would have to occupy his time with something else. It seemed that Sparatus had given him something to do and as much as he wasn’t feeling up to it he had no choice. He was Primarch now, even more so he was a Turian,  and it was his absolute duty to make sure that the Turian people had a competent leader and to reestablish the Government of his people.

Sighing he turned and began to make his way back to the gun battery. He smiled as he stepped off the elevator and noticed Javik sitting with Liara in the mess hall together talking quietly. Javik met his eyes as he passed and he nodded at him. Apparently his little talk with him went well after all. He shook his head remembering how Javik had burst into the gun battery a few days prior looking like a crazy man.

_He turned at the sudden commotion and lifting a questioning brow to Javik who was standing there looking as if something were chasing him. He no longer found it odd when Javik appeared out of nowhere to speak to him and it surprised him at how he began to consider Javik a friend._

_“Everything alright?” He set down his rifle, carefully placing his scope on the bench and leaned back against the bench. Javik gave him a look, sighed and sat down across from him._

_“Do you have alcohol?” Garrus jerked his head towards a crate next to him and he pulled out a dextro-levo safe bottle of some of the strongest alcohol Garrus could find and poured them both a glass. Javik took a deep drink and drew his brows down. He looked at Garrus and opened his mouth as if to say something to him, but closed his mouth, pressing his lips together as if thinking better about it._

_“What’s got you so wound up?” They drank in silence for a few more moments before Javik finally spoke._

_“You understand women. You are bonded with the Commander. I have a question.” Garrus lifted a brow plate at him. This was certainly unexpected. He nodded slowly, wondering where this conversation was going to go. “How did you deal with Shepard’s feelings towards Liara?” He jerked back at the question and gave a small laugh._

_“Well I uh, what?” Javik sighed in frustration and drained the rest of his glass pouring himself more and topping off Garrus’ glass._

_“Must I spell it out to you? When you first began your bizarre relationship with the Commander how did you feel knowing that she was still in love with the Asari?” He wasn’t sure how to answer the question really._

_“Part of me felt worried that she would, in the end, choose Liara over me. I wasn’t sure how she would feel after the Omega-4 Relay and even more uncertain after the Reapers began attacking. We were separated for six months with no way to communicate but on the other hand,” he said taking a sip from his glass. “I also felt that since she came to me she must have cared about me in some way. It wasn’t just about blowing off steam or easing tension for her and I knew that as well.”_

_“How did you convince her to love only you?” He took another hard sip from his glass. Garrus sighed and ran a tired hand over his face, scratching at a deep scar that still would twinge with pain every now and again._

_“It wasn’t,” he paused and adjusted his visor, thinking about what to say. “I never convinced or forced her to love me. That’s not something you_ can _force. It-it’s complicated.” Javik looked at him expectantly, his four eyes blinking slowly and he had to suppress a laugh at the look in his face. “I made it known to her that I cared. After not seeing her for six months and already knowing that she had recruited Liara onto the Normandy I had my doubts. When she came to me I fully expected her to turn me away but she didn’t and I knew then that she loved me. No matter what I would have respected her decision but that’s not to say that I would have given up.”_

_“How did you deal with it knowing that she loved the Asari?” Garrus looked at him for a moment, his eyes narrowing._

_“What is this about?” Javik took a drink for him glass and set it back down with a loud click._

_“Answer the question, Turian.” Garrus barked out a laugh and when he didn’t answer Javik fixed him with a steely look before dropping his eyes back to his almost empty glass. “That damned Asari has somehow found a way to get inside my head.” He looked back at Garrus whose mandible twitched in slight amusement. “What can I do when she is so obviously still in love with the Commander?” Garrus’ mandible clenched tight against his jaw, a sour look taking over his face for a moment. He didn’t like that Liara still cared for Shepard and Javik smirked in satisfaction._

_“You can’t force her to care about you, like I said. The most you can do is talk to her and admit your feelings. Worst case scenario she says she’s not interested.” Javik made a noise and stood._

_“After what did I am not so certain the Asari will be willing to talk me.” He was pacing in front of Garrus._

_“What did you do?” he asked cautiously. Javik paused in his pacing for a moment to glance at him. He had the decency to look slightly ashamed of himself._

_“I melded with her mind forcibly. I couldn’t ask her so I just took the information I wanted.” Garrus groaned and leaned back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling for a moment. He lifted his arms and pointed at Garrus. “I gave her information about my people that she wanted to know in return.” Garrus shook his head, running a hand over his eyes._

_“You’re going to have to apologize. You know that don’t you?” Javik blinked at him for a long moment before nodding. “You have to stop calling her Asari as well.”_

_“How do I get her to love me?”_

_“It’s not going to happen overnight. You can’t just rush in and say that you love her and beg her to love you back. You have to talk to her, spend time with her and do things with her. Liara is a very kind and understanding woman. It’s not in her to be cruel. She’ll listen to anything you have to say.”Javik sat back down and poured them another glass._

_“What do I say to her?” Garrus looked at him and felt sort of bad for him. He really did care for her, but he was very inadequate at this. Not that he had been much better when first beginning his tumultuous relationship with Shepard now that he thought about it._

_“You say you’re sorry and explain your actions. Listen to what she has to say. Ask her to have a drink with you and enjoy her company.”_

_“You make it sound as if it will be that easy.”_

_“It will if you don’t make another mistake. I wouldn’t wait too long though.” Javik downed the rest of his drink and stood, looking at Garrus._

_“If this makes the situation worse-”_

_“You know where to find me.” Javik nodded and quickly left the gun battery leaving Garrus behind shaking his head and smiling. Love always found a way._

His omni-tool alerting him to a new message brought him back to the present. He cast one last look at Javik and Liara before opening the door to the gun battery. The Councilor worked fast and Garrus had over one hundred dossiers blinking at him in his inbox.

Time to start acting like Primarch he thought as he opened the first of many dossiers. 


	9. Duty Calls... So to Speak...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard finally gets to speak with her mother, Admiral Hackett and the Council.

**Author’s Notes** : Thank you to BlackStarAura, omega12596, Anonismyname for the reviews and KabiViolet, Verdandi73, ULT1M4T3, BlackStarAura, and the 3 others who have left Kudos for me! Thank you so much. :-) It means a lot! I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

**Disclaimer** : Sadly, I own naught but the plot. However atrocious it might be, it is mine. 

 

* * *

 

Shepard looked over the data pad again, blinking at the words and sighed. The Private stood in front of her nervously and coughed. She glanced at him.

“At ease, soldier.” He looked relieved and placed his feet at shoulder width and clasped his hands behind him. She rubbed her forehead and once again tried to read the words in front of her. As soon as Miranda had cleared her fit for duty, so to speak, two days ago Shepard had been inadvertently thrust into the role of leader for the Military. “Why the fuck are they asking me?” she murmured aloud reading the data pad again.

**Commander Shepard –**

**We did as you said and it seems to be working rather well, considering. Our next step is to start trying to clear away the Reapers, but we need you to tell us what exactly to do with them. The scientists here are asking for permission to study some of the Cannibals, the Asari are wondering if you would allow them to study the Banshee, and the Krogan as well as the Marines and Army would like to ask for your permission to study the Brutes and Marauders.**

**I await your decision.**

**Major Coats**

Quickly she tapped out a response and handed it back to the Private who was looking at her awe-struck. “Take this back to Major Coats.” He took the offered data pad and turned quickly, rushing to a do job that Commander Shepard had asked him too with a grin on his face. As the door shut behind him she heard another soldier ask if he really got to speak to her. She shook her head and turned to look out the window.

“Shepard.” She glanced over her shoulder and saw Wrex coming through the door.

“How’s it going, Wrex?” He gave her a stern look.

“That’s not how you’re supposed to greet me. We have to do it over. When I come in you have to just say Wrex.” She sighed.

“Oh come on!”

“No. Do it Shepard!” The door closed and when he walked back in her smiled at her.

“Shepard.” She gave him a look until he made an angry face at her.

“Wrex.” He flashed her smile and rumbled out a laugh.

“A-ha, that never gets old.” She shook her head.

“What can I do for you?” He stopped and took a drink of her water ignoring her protests.

“I’ll get you some more, no need to get your panties in a twist. Anyway, I’m here, officially, to inform you that Admiral Hackett and your mother are available on vidcom as well as the Council who would like to speak to you. Unofficially, I’m here to tell you to ignore everyone. Well, except for your mother. That would probably hurt her feelings.” Shepard patted his arm and laughed.

“Thank you. I’m sure my mother has more questions than I would rather answer but I owe her something. She did bring me into this world.”

“Did she sit on your egg?” Shepard drew her brows down over her eyes and looked at him with a confused look. He coughed. “Oh. You humans don’t do that then. Alright. Learn something new every day,” he said shrugging his shoulders.  She laughed and shook her head.

“No, we have live births. Our children come out of us kicking and screaming. Like the Asari, Quarians and Turians.” Wrex looked at her, his eyes sliding over her body with a skeptical look.

“That sounds painful. You’re awfully small Shepard.” She laughed again.

“I’ve never experienced childbirth, yet, so all I know is what I’ve been told from others and it doesn’t sound pleasant. There are women who are smaller than me Wrex and they have kids just fine.” He just shook his head.

“Yet? You have plans for children, Shepard?” She felt her cheeks grow hot and ducked her head in embarrassment. “With Garrus? I don’t think you’ll come out of that looking pretty.” She punched him in the arm and outright laughed.

“I don’t think biology would cooperate but adoption is always an idea. There are too many children without parents thanks to this war.”

“You can always adopt a Krogan. I wouldn’t extend that offer to anyone else but you and the crew on the Normandy or you can use Liara as a bridge for you and Garrus.” She gave him a quizzical look. He sighed and shook his head at her. It surprised him how often he forgot that she was still fairly new in the Galaxy despite everything she has accomplished then laughed to himself. He’d just had the same reaction to her revelation about having live children.

“A bridge? Asari can only get impregnated from what I know.”

“Oh no. Asari can impregnate other females. It’s certainly not common and if they do it, it is because they either truly love the person they are with or are extremely close. I’ve never experienced it but from what I do know they can act as a sort of medium. They can randomize the DNA from you and your partner, take traits from Garrus and make you pregnant. I’ve heard eye color can even be inherited.”

“So I’d have an Asari baby?”

“No. You could actually have a human baby with your DNA but with extensive traits from Garrus like his personality, eye color that sort of thing.”

“That’s something to consider, but another time. Any idea on what the Council wants from me or what Hackett needs?”

“Sorry. Don’t know, Shepard. All I know is what I was told by that ex-Cerberus woman told me to tell you. Did you know that she and that tattooed Biotic are… you know…?” Shepard suppressed a laugh at the look on his face.

“Yeah, I figured it out. I suppose I should get on down to see what they all need.” Wrex turned with her and they made their way down to the Communications Room. Soldiers who guarded the door saluted Shepard as she walked by and she nodded at them. “Ever get those colonies back that you asked the Council about?”

“Not definitively. They said the war was too important.”

“I’ll talk to them about it then.” He stopped and looked at her.

“Thank you Shepard,” he said grasping her hand in his larger one. “Alright I’ll leave you to it.” And walked back out the door leaving Shepard standing in front of the link. She stepped forward and pressed the blue light. Her mother appeared and looked at her with wide eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Elizabeth!” Shepard smiled at her and had an overwhelming urge to hug her. “Oh honey, it’s so good to see you. Steven said he wasn’t sure if this would even work but I am so glad to see that you are alive. I couldn’t take it again if I thought that I lost you, sweetie.”

“I’m fine, mom. I’m tired and more than a little stressed but I’m fine, really,” she smiled at her.

“I’m not going to pry and ask questions. I’m sure a lot of it I don’t really want to know. I’m just so proud of you, honey. Your father would be too.” Shepard swallowed an uncomfortable lump in her throat and gave a soft, quiet laugh.

“He’d call me stubborn and hard-headed.” Hannah laughed and crossed her arms over her chest like she was cold.

“He would. He always said that you had a determination to get anything done. I’m sure he’s up there watching over you, sweetheart. I know you have other important things to do and Steven wanted to talk to you.”

“Steven?” Even through the link she could see her mother’s cheeks darken. She raised her eyebrows at her. “Admiral Hackett? Mother!” she laughed. This was unexpected, but not an unpleasant revelation. “Fraternization is not something I would peg you for.” Her mother gave her a look.

“I wouldn’t have thought it of you either, but alas look at who you are dating. Primarch Garrus Vakarian, Eliza?” Shepard blinked and stared at her, a confused look sliding over her face.

“Garrus isn’t Primarch, Victus is.” Her mother suddenly bit her lower lip and her eyes widened in ignorance.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I misspoke,” she said quickly, regaining her composure. Shepard raised her hand and pointed at her shaking her finger, her brows coming down over her eyes.

“Oh no you don’t, mom. What did you mean?” Hannah sighed, looking up and tossed her hands in the air. She looked at her daughter and placed her hands on her hips, assuming her Admiral face and stance.

“I thought you knew. I’m surprised it hasn’t reached Earth yet or that Dr. Lawson did not inform you. Perhaps he was waiting to tell you himself. Either way, Adrien Victus was found and declared killed in action. Garrus was next for the seat and when Councilor Sparatus offered it to him he accepted. All the Fleets, not just the Turians, are aware of Garrus’ newfound title and we are expected to treat him as such though he wants none of it. Have you not spoken to him recently?” Shepard shook her head, letting the new information wash over her and couldn’t suppress a smile. She was positive that Garrus was hating his new position, but she was more than proud of him.

“No, but when I see him again I’ll have to talk to him about his communication skills.” Her mother smiled at her and looked at something.

“Alright, honey. I need to go and Steven needs to speak to you. I’ll try to talk to you again soon. I love you.”

“I love you too, mom.” Her mother gave her one last smile and turned, disappearing as Admiral Hackett randomly appeared in front of her.

“Commander Shepard,” he greeted her. She nodded at him and decided against calling him Steven, with an inward smile.

“Sir, Urdnot Wrex said that you had something you wanted to speak with me about?” He sighed and shifted his weight.

“Yes. I felt that I should inform you of any new developments. I have received Intel that the Keepers have already begun construction on the Citadel. However, we’re going to have to get it out of Earth’s orbit eventually. The Citadel, if you’ll recall, is roughly 28 miles long and 8 miles wide which is much bigger than any satellite we’ve got. It’s really going to do anything right now, but eventually it will have to be moved.

“We are working on repairing the Mass Relays and so far it looks to be coming together fairly well. Luckily, eezo is not in short supply around here and everyone is donating. The Asari seem to believe that the Keepers might have some information. Since you are on Earth, Commander, I would ask if you could organize teams and send them to the Citadel to see what they can find.” Shepard nodded. He paused for a moment and looked at her in silence before continuing.

“There is another matter that I would like to discuss with you Commander. As you are more than aware everyone has suffered many losses and we are among them. Many of our Fleets perished in the war as well as too many of our leaders, officers and other essential personnel. Most Government officials from around the world did not make it. Is there anything you can tell me about what is being done about this?” Shepard opened her omni-tool and read through her messages.

“As far as I can tell most of the superpowers are already reestablishing their Governments. The United States is focusing on the Federal Government. Elections for President and new Congress will be held in the coming weeks. I haven’t heard much about the states but from what I gather until we have a new President and Congress that’s been put on hold. Everyone is looking to the United States for guidance at the moment and the United States, like everyone, is in shambles. All other countries, major countries, have followed suit. England will be holding elections for Parliament and Prime Minister as soon as we have a President. Germany, Italy, Russia and France are will also be holding their elections around the same time. There has been no word from the Asian countries. China, Japan, and Korea have been silent. We’re fearing the worst for them but praying that they’ll be heard from soon. The African as well as South American countries came up for air to let us know that they are still alive, though barely hanging on. Australia and most of Central America have not been heard from. Intel says that most islands, including Hawaii, have been lost.

“As far as states go, it’s hard to tell. Texas was among the first to report in followed by Georgia, Arizona, New Mexico, California, Washington, Colorado and the Carolinas. Texas said they do believe that Louisiana and Oklahoma are still with us. Georgia said that Florida is still there as well, but took a hell of a beating. Mississippi reported in not long ago. Very little has been heard from any of the New England states, but we’re assuming that once elections are held we’ll know more. Montana, Minnesota, the Dakotas, Nevada and Wisconsin are still with us but that’s all we know so far. Canada has confirmed that Alaska, surprisingly, made it almost unscathed.  Canada is holding on, but Quebec was lost. Intel says that as soon as elections are held all countries that were a part of the United Nations will be meeting to discuss the futures of each of their countries as well as figure out how to deploy troops, what little there is, to the less fortunate countries to try and help with anything they can.” Both were silent for a moment. Admiral Hackett was trying to calculate how many they haven’t heard from.

“Commander, that’s twenty-nine states that are unaccounted for. Hawaii’s loss will be mourned as well as Quebec. I can’t even begin to describe how many people we lost if the Asian countries don’t come up soon, but they were among the heaviest populated countries. We’ve lost more colonies and countries than I care to imagine. But we have to push forward and think to the future. Mourning will have to be later. As I said earlier we have suffered many losses and we need officers. I am keeping you as an Ambassador but I want to appoint you as Admiral Chief of Naval Operations. The war is over so I am stepping down as Fleet Admiral. I am sure that once the UN is back in order they will not disagree that you are the best and only candidate to lead the Alliance Navy.” He looked at her expectantly and she stared at him, her mouth gaping open.

“I’m not-”

“Do not even begin to say that you are not qualified. You have gone above and beyond the mere call of duty. You saved the entire galaxy. You deserve it. You are more than a soldier; you are a leader, Commander. Or should I start calling you Admiral?” She continued to look at him with shock written across her face. This was very unexpected. She didn’t know what to say. She believed she would get a promotion, but nothing like this and a part of her wasn’t sure she even wanted to be in the military anymore.

On the other hand, she would no longer be fighting. She would be strictly commanding, though in the back of her mind she believed that she would still find a way to go on a few missions at least. With Garrus being the new Primarch maybe this was for the best. They could find someplace that was close to both Earth and Palaven. They could have the family they talked about.

“I don’t know what to say, Sir. I’m honored.” He smiled at her.

“No, Admiral Shepard, _I_ am honored. I am honored to have seen you grow, watch you as you rise in rank, witness your incredible determination and doubtless attitude. You believed when no one else did and only you, I truly believe, could have made a team follow you into the depths of hell. You have witnessed things that others can only imagine. You will go down in all history. Now, Admiral, do you have any orders for me?” Shepard laughed, feeling a blush creeping onto her cheeks, and rubbed the back of her neck. That would take time to get used to.

“No, sir.”

“You are not supposed to call me that anymore, Shepard,” he said, echoing her words that she had said to Vega once which, now, felt like a lifetime ago. “I know that the Council is waiting to speak to you and I will let them know of your new title. I will try to get in touch with Dr. T’Soni so she can let the Normandy know as well as those on Earth so they don’t address you incorrectly. I’ll leave you to it, Admiral.” He laughed at the look on her face and severed the connection.

She took a minute, before connecting to the Council, to take a breath and think. Being an Admiral, _the_ Admiral, was a big change. “Admiral Shepard,” she said, rolling it over her tongue and grimaced slightly to herself. She had been Commander for so long that it just sounded strange to her ears. She pictured Liara telling Garrus of her new title, imaging him smiling and beaming with pride. She sighed and touched the side of her neck, near her collar bone, tracing the outline of his anima vincula marcam. The Turian words he had used hadn’t translated properly and instead translated it to Latin which, she learned, meant soul bond mark.

_She sat back against her couch in the Captain’s Cabin on the Normandy, still recovering from the party, and took a sip of water. She touched the scar on her neck and looked at him._

_“What do you call this?” He looked at where her hand was, taking his eyes off his rifle, and reached out to lightly touch the spot, an unreadable look on his face._

_“Psyceele binologon simarka,” she vaguely heard him say but her translator, in her head, said, “Anima vincula marcam commonly known in the English language as soul bond mark”. She turned off her translator and looked at him again._

_“I want to hear you say, not my translator.”_

_“Psyceele binologon simarka,” he repeated. He opened his mouth to say something else but she held up a finger while she quickly turned her translator back on._

_“Is your language always that beautiful?” He laughed and gave her a light kiss on her forehead._

_“I wouldn’t know really. I don’t consider my language beautiful at all, but maybe that’s because I’m used to hearing it._

_“I know what my translator told me, but what does it mean in your language?” He seemed to think about it for a moment, curling his fingers into her, his rifle forgotten about._

_“The closest translation I can think of would be soul bound and thus marked. Many Turians don’t believe in the soul bound tradition anymore. It’s rare to come across a Turian couple who have embraced the tradition wholeheartedly and truly believe that they are soul bound. My parents believed that they were soul bound. Ever since I can remember they were like one person. They moved together, they knew what the other was thinking, and they knew when something was wrong with the other before one of them had even said anything. It’s rare to find someone who you are willing to give you entire self too, for the rest of eternity. I never was one to believe in it, even after seeing my parents, but I know, without a doubt, that I am soul bound to you, Elizabeth.” He pressed his three fingered hand against the side of her face, thumbing her bottom lip and his cobalt eyes bore into chartreuse ones as he spoke. “When you dove into the ocean in search of Leviathan I knew, without knowing how, that something was wrong when I couldn’t feel you anymore. It felt like a piece of me was ripped away and that’s a feeling I don’t want to have ever again.” He leaned forward and pressed his hard, sandpaper like lips against her soft, petal like ones.  His hand ghosted over her hair, cupping her face with both hands and pulled back to look at her. “I love you more than life itself. I would do anything and everything for you. If you ever turned me away I would die.  My life is worthless without you. You have sunk hooks deep into me, twined your soul with mine, and I can never again take a breath without knowing that you love me and are out there, alive. You are the only reason that I didn’t give up on Omega. Seeing you again is what made me feel alive for the first time since you died. I will not lose you again.”_

_She grasped his cowl, tucking her fingers in and her breath hitched in her throat.  She stroked the scarred side of his face, memorizing every inch of his face, the azure color of his eyes, the love that filled his eyes and vibrated through him. The fate of the Galaxy rested on her shoulders and there was no promise that she make to ensure that they would all be safe, but she could make him a promise. The only promise that she could make and would have no regrets about, no matter what the cost or decision._

_“You will never lose me again.”_

 She opened her eyes and brushed away the tears from her eyes. She had kept her promise and despite how she felt, despite the pain it caused her, she would do it all over again. She missed him more than anyone could possible ever imagine and would give anything to be able to touch the side of face, caress his fringe, and kiss him again. She pulled herself away from the thought of Garrus, her soul mate, and looked at the offending blue light that kept blinking at her, reminding her that the Council wanted to speak to her about God knows what. Stepping forward she laid her fingers against the button and waited for the Council to materialize in front of her.

“Admiral Shepard,” Councilor Tevos said. _He does work fast_ , she thought.

“Councilors,” she nodded at Tevos, Valern and Sparatus. The three of them looked at each before looking back at Shepard.

“Congratulations on your promotion. It is beyond well deserved,” Sparatus said, pulling his arms behind him. Tevos nodded and looked at her.

“Admiral, we have a lot to discuss. There are things that we,” she nodded at Valern and Sparatus, “believe only you can decide. Your voice and opinions carry great weight and there are no words that we can say to give justice to what you have done for us, our people and the entire Galaxy.”

“The first matter that we bring to you is a need for a new Human Councilor and we believe that you would have the best recommendation above anyone else. Our judgment was poor when we welcomed Udina as a Councilor and we will not do something like that again. We would have extended the offer to you, but your role as Admiral, we believe, is a much better fit. Is there anyone that you can think of that you would like to elect as a Council member?” Valern asked. She thought for a moment.

He was the perfect fit. He was just and he, despite his animosity towards her for a short time, always thought about his actions. He didn’t normally do something without thinking and he was not one to make rash decisions. He had integrity and it was something he valued. _Something that the Council could use_ , she thought bitterly.

“Spectre Kaidan Alenko,” she said, inwardly grinning at the shocked look on his face when he found out. Tevos looked at Valern and Sparatus. They nodded at her and typed something into their omni-tools before looking at Shepard again.

“Very well. I believe he would make an excellent Councilor.”

“The next matter is of the Krogan and Quarians. Urdnot Wrex has requested that we give back some of the old Krogan colonies and we wish to have your opinion on this.”

“We know that Urdnot Wrex is a friend of yours and if you believe that he can keep the Krogan in check we are willing to give back those requested colonies and offer the Krogan, again, a position on the Council as well as an embassy, but only if you are positive, without a doubt, that he can lead the Krogan on a righteous path and not one of vengeance.”

“I know, Councilor, that Wrex has no plans to exact revenge. He and Bakara want the Krogan to become the species that we believe that they can be and not just mere mercenaries. I have no doubts about that and if I may, I would like to recommend Bakara as the Krogan Councilor.” Once again they looked at each other. They seemed to communicate without words, in silence, before nodding and typing into their omni-tools.

“If you believe this, then we will not doubt you Admiral,” Tevos said with a slight smile. Sparatus looked at Shepard and cleared his throat.

“Now the matter of the Quarians. We know that they armed their civilian ships with weapons in their war against the Geth and broke many articles of the treaty that they signed, but,” he paused taking a moment to look at Tevos and Valern, “given Tali’Zorah vas Normandy’s involvement with the Normandy, her loyalty to you, and her determination to secure peace with Geth we have decided to pardon them of all charges.”

“Admiral, given your strong ties to the Quarian people do you believe that they are competent and ready to be given an embassy again as well as a Councilor position?” Tevos asked, lowering her would be brows over her eyes.

“I have no doubts.”

“But what of Admiral Xen? Do you trust that she will adhere to the laws that we set?” Valern questioned. Shepard sighed and tilted her head. _Fucking Xen_ , she thought. Xen was a pain in the ass, but she listened to Shepard which was probably the only smart thing she had ever done. In her own way she respected Shepard and would be grateful that the Quarian people would be given another chance, despite her own beliefs and convictions.

“Admiral Xen would fall in line, of that I have no doubts. I believe that the Quarians, like the Krogan, have paid for their mistakes and have learned from them.”

“We trust your judgment Shepard. Do you recommend anyone for the Councilor position?” Her first thought was Tali, but she knew that Tali would never accept being a Councilor. It was difficult enough for her to be an Admiral and she was not willing to put Councilor of the Quarians on her shoulders. Koris was out of the question as well as Han’Gerrel and Xen. Her thoughts drifted to Raan and her lips turned up in a smile. She would make the perfect Councilor. She was kind, thoughtful and was willing to do anything to preserve her people. Shepard considered her a friend and believed that her thoughts and ideals could help shape the Council.

“Admiral Raan.” Valern gave her a funny look.

“Isn’t she a bit… emotional?”

“The Council is supposed to be diverse. Bring the best of what each species has to offer. Sparatus has his military background, Tevos is a smart and logical woman, and you are thinker, your people are primarily scientists. Kaidan is a man with integrity and will not make decisions quickly; Bakara is a strong woman, who will, to her utmost abilities, will ensure that the Krogan will work will other species and is not your everyday day Krogan and Raan will bring her experience with AIs to the table  and her ability to see beyond what most cannot. The Council will be of all backgrounds and will be what the Galaxy needs. I’m not saying it will be easy, but it’s in the best interest of all Galactic civilization.”

For a moment Shepard thought that they would disconnect the link but surprisingly they didn’t. They seemed to be taking in her words and gave each other those insufferable knowing looks before tapping on their omni-tools.

“You’ve made your point. We will be contacting them as soon as we are able to inform them of your recommendations. We thank you for your time. If you ever need to contact us, never feel hesitation in doing so. Council out,” Tevos said and disconnected.

Shepard sighed; glad to be finally finished with all of her vid-calls but really didn’t feel like leaving the room knowing the kind of reception she would get now that she was Admiral and not just any Admiral. She was the highest ranking officer in the Alliance which was the equivalent of General of the Army in the United States Army branch of the Military.

Reluctantly she picked up the data pad and pressed the pad on the door, watching as the green “door knob” swirled in front of her.

_Well_ , she thought, _it was now or never_. 

 

* * *

 

“Jeff, there is something I have discovered.” Joker looked over at EDI, worry etching into his brow.

“Have you figured out what is wrong?” EDI threw him a scathing look and he cringed. She was not taking the fact that she was, well, sick, very well. Tali seemed to be working around the clock to figure out what was causing her malfunction but was still at a complete loss. Liara was trying to help as best she could but there was only so much she could do.

“Every time we jump it deteriorates the Mass Effect core. When we reach Earth the Normandy will be in need of repairs.”

“How does that happen?”

“The Mass Effect core is not meant for making the amount of jumps that we need to make it back to Earth. If we are, for example, involved in an altercation with someone we will have to make an emergency jump.”

“But isn’t that why we installed the drives though?”

“Correct. However, the Mass Effect core was built for emergency jumps only and it was intended for using the Mass Relays for primary FTL jumps. Not for a continuous amount of jumps. If my calculations are correct, which they are, when we reach Earth our Mass Effect core will be completely destroyed and the Normandy will be unable to travel again until she and the core is repaired.” Joker sat in his chair for a moment taking in what she said.

“Well. Shit,” he said. “Have you told Tali and the engineering crew?”

“Of course. I just sent them a message to their omni-tools.”

“Is there anything that they can do to draw some of the power away from the Mass Effect core?” She shook her silver head and swiped her hand over the console in front of her.

“That’s just fan-fucking-tastic.” EDI looked over at him with a smile plastered to her silicone face.

“You are a very eloquent Human, Jeff.”

“Aren’t I though?”


	10. Batarians Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, anger and Batarians.

**Author’s Notes** : Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It makes me feel so good to receive feedback. :-) I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing. Bioware owns it all. 

 

* * *

 

Garrus stood in front of his minicomputer, reading through messages and sighed in frustration. Being the Primarch of Palaven was quickly becoming his least favorite job and he believed he would rather be back on Omega which was saying something. He had more dossiers, requests and congratulatory emails then he cared to read through. He didn’t want congratulations. He wasn’t elected. He was appointed.

He pushed away and looked over at a picture of himself and Shepard. She was smiling, a real smile, and standing next to him, her arm curled around his with the Silversun Strip behind them. She was pressing her body into his and she was looking up at him, her face and eyes filled with her love for him. Glyph had suggested that they take the picture before returning to the Normandy and as much as she didn’t want too, he had made her do it. His thoughts drifted to the night of the party, once everyone had either went to bed or passed out in some way or another.

_He was walking by the spare bedroom door when he heard Shepard trying to coax Tali into the bed._

_“Tali, you’re going to be fine, you just need to sleep it off,” she said, a hint of amusement in her voice. The bed creaked and he heard the faint rustling of the sheets._

_“You promise I won’t die? Am I already dead? I feel like I’m floating.” Shepard laughed softly. He leaned against the door jamb to watch her as she sat next to Tali, pulling one leg up underneath her body and pulled the sheets up over the severely drunk Quarian._

_“You’re just_ really _drunk. You really have to be careful and yes, I swear to you that you won’t die.” She looked at Tali who had closed her eyes and nodded. “I am going to check on you though, to make sure you’re okay.” There was a soft snoring and Shepard shook her head, a small smile on her face and she got up carefully, trying not to disturb Tali. As she moved, Tali grabbed her arm and peered up at her._

_“Shepard, I want you to know that you’re the best friend I have ever had,” she whispered sleepily. “Whatever happens in this war I need you to know that I have never doubted you.” Garrus saw Shepard swallow as she grasped Tali’s hand in hers, running her thumb over her knuckles in a soothing manner. “When you died it was the worst feeling in the world.” She took a deep, shuddering breath and Garrus knew exactly what she meant. “Outside of the Fleet, you and the Normandy are my family, my only true family. Promise me that you won’t leave us again?” Shepard swiped at her cheeks and smiled down at her._

_“Get some sleep Tali.” Tali shook her hand and tightened her hand around Shepard’s arm._

_“Promise me.” Shepard looked down at her for a moment, swallowing again and rubbed the side of her face. “Promise me that no matter what happens you will come back to us, to the Normandy.”_

_“I promise.” Tali smiled through her helmet, turned over and began snoring softly. Shepard sat on the edge of the bed, looking at a spot in the wall until Garrus walked over to her and touched her arm, making her jump. “I didn’t know you were there,” she whispered, standing and walking with him to turn out the lights and shut the door behind her._

_“I was just making sure you could get her to bed all by yourself.” She curled her fingers around his and tugged him towards her bedroom, casting glances at Wrex who was sprawled out the couch of the sitting area and Grunt who was passed out on the floor, letting Samara use the other couch._

_“I think I managed.” He smiled at her and slid their door shut as she walked into the closet and began undressing herself. He went to stand next to the bed, undoing the clasps on his armor and setting the pieces down gently until he was wearing nothing and got under the covers, leaning back against the wall listening as she washed her face and brushed her teeth. He still found it odd that she did that, but it was also endearing to watch her move around the room doing her nightly routine. He had come to associate the smell of mint with her._

_“You know Tali reveres you,” he said as she gargled and spit into the sink. She grunted. “When you died she was one of the first to leave the Normandy.” She appeared in the doorway with a brush in her hand, pulling it through her hair wearing an extremely oversized shirt. “Is that mine?” She colored and smiled at him, pausing in her ministrations._

_“I found it stuffed in with my gear.” He forgot about what he was saying and slid his eyes over her appreciatively. The top of the shirt hung loosely over her shoulders, coming down to the tops her breasts since it was meant to fit over a cowl. The dark blue made her eyes green eyes stand out against her tan skin, giving her an almost unnatural look. The shirt stopped just beneath her ass, giving him an excellent view of her cheeks when she bent down to put her brush back in her overnight bag. He wasn’t sure what type of panties she wore but they clung to her hips and rose up on her cheeks giving him a frustratingly amazing view of the bottom of her ass._

_He felt his blood heat up looking at her, feeling himself hardening and had the urge to throw her down on the bed and fuck her senseless. “You really shouldn’t tease a Turian,” he murmured. She jerked up and looked at him over her shoulder, taking in the lusty look he gave her. Her lips turned up at the corners and she narrowed her eyes at him and damn if that didn’t fuel the fire racing through his veins._

_“So, I shouldn’t…” she began, biting her lip and turned around slowly and hooked her finger into the band of her underwear, pulling it down to expose a smooth, curved hip. “do this?” His mouth began to water knowing, very well, what lied underneath her flimsy undergarments. He lifted his arms behind his fringe, crossing them and watched her; trying to deny the urge to stroke himself._

_Slowly she walked towards the bed, working her panties down over her thighs and tossed them to the side somewhere. She stopped, inches from the bed, and looked at him giving him the most come hither look if there ever was one. “And doing this,” she pulled up the shirt over her stomach, caressing her belly with her free hand, before sliding it down to the soft mound of hair at the apex of her thighs, caressing her clit, “wouldn’t help either?” He groaned and tightened his hands, digging his fingers into his hands._

_She licked her lower lip, biting it softly turning it a deep red, and ran her hand up under the shirt to massage her breasts. It was more than just a little difficult for him to not grab her, throw her beneath him and begin fucking her until he spilled himself deep inside of her. She bent over, giving him the perfect view of her hardened nipples, and placed her knee on the bed. His cock twitched at the look on her face._

_“Shepard,” he moaned when she grabbed the covers and pulled them down over his body to expose his erection, her fingers ghosting over his skin and plates._

_Her hand wrapped around him and his hips jerked of their own accord. Without ever breaking eye contact she stroked his length, squeezing the head of his cock and slid her hand down to her own sex, sighing when her finger found purchase on her clit. He sucked in a breath and growled at her, forcing a smile on her face._

_She leaned over and ran her tongue over the ridges on his cock, lapping at his juices and closed her eyes, letting out a quiet moan, slipping her finger between her folds. He unhooked his hands and took a hold of her hair, wrapping his fingers into the soft mass. She jerked away and slapped at his hand._

_“Oh no. Payback is in order for making me dance.” He gave her an exasperated look that melted away into a look of pure ecstasy when she clenched her hand around the base of his shaft. “No touching.” His eyes snapped shut when he felt he tongue run across the slit on the head of his cock._

_Her mouth, so hot and wet, felt fucking amazing. Never again would he be satisfied. She had ruined him for all other women._

_“Fuck,” he groaned when she sucked, pulling him deep into her throat. Her tongue pressed against the underside of him as her throat clenched around him. Her moan vibrated him and he cracked his eyes open to watch her as she fervently rubbed herself, sliding a finger into herself and back out to once again circle her clit._

_He couldn’t take it anymore. Swiftly he pulled her up and flipped her over, tearing off the shirt that looked delicious on her frame and ran his tongue against her throat growling, “Fuck payback. I have to fuck you.”_

_Her arms snaked over his back, her nails digging into his back scratching over his plates gasping when he slid his sharp teeth over her pulse point. He bent his head down and sucked a nipple into his mouth, laving it with his tongue while his finger pushed inside of her, groaning when her muscles contracted around his digit._

_“Garrus!” she cried, thrusting her hips upwards. He shook his head, nipping at her breast and wrapped his large hand around her hip, holding her down. His thumb rubbed against the meeting of her hip and the beginning of her pussy and her breath hitched in her throat, as he worked his finger in and out of her knowing full well what that spot did to her._

_He felt the rough ridge inside of her and pressed against it, pressing his thumb against her clit eliciting and high pitched moan from her throat. She was so wet for him and it drove him crazy. He wanted to make her come for him over and over again. He wanted to fuck her in every position they could._

_She grabbed his fringe and tugged forcing him to pull his mouth away from her nipples and jerked his head down to her lips, rubbing her clit against his thumb. Her mouth opened, her tongue pressed against his as her hand snaked between them to grasp his cock in her hand. He panted into her mouth, running his tongue along the lines of her teeth._

_Beneath his hand he felt her stomach muscles spasm, her insides tightening around his thick finger and drove his tongue into her mouth. She pulled away, her back arching into him as her hand stroked, squeezed and pulled at his length coming, giving into the her orgasm, crying out._

_She opened her eyes and looked at him, her breath coming out in short, sharp gasps. “I need to feel you,” she whispered, trying to guide him to her center but he shook his head denying her._

_He placed light kisses along her jaw, her neck, her chest and down her stomach pausing at her belly button to run his tongue around the strange divot. Her thighs spread despite the shaking of her head, making room for his large shoulders._

_He breathed in the scent of her arousal as he gently ran his ridged tongue over her plump bud, groaning against her. He would never get tired of her taste, her smell or the feel of her sex beneath his fingers, tongue or wrapped around his member. She could never understand or comprehend how absolutely beautiful she was to him._

_Her hips jerked as his tongue connected with her, ripping a deep, throaty moan from deep within her chest. He pressed his free hand against her mouth, to quiet her moans, and slipped his long tongue inside of her, flicking it against the rough ridge._

_Her fingers plucked and pinched at her nipples, pressing her hand against his own hand over her mouth trying desperately not to wake anyone to the noise of their nightly activities. Her tongue darted out to moisten his palm and he groaned against her, burying his tongue as deep as he could stroking her insides._

_He felt a rush of wetness against his tongue, pulling his hand away from her mouth to rub her clit wanting, no_ needing _to hear her scream out his name as she came again. Her hands gripped his fringe, sinking her blunt nails into the skin between his plates and her thighs twitched. He slid his tongue in and out of her, working her wet pussy listening to her panting and her high pitched moans. “Come for me,” he said against her wetness._

_“Jesus. Fuck, Garrus. Don’t,” she grunted out, grinding her hips against him. “fucking stop. I’m so close.” He flicked his mandibles against her and she cried out, her fingers slipping from his fringe to clutch at the sheet as her orgasm ripped through her. Greedily he lapped at her juices, sucking on her clit relishing in the sound of her orgasm reverberating against the walls of their scantily decorated room, not giving a flying fuck is the entire Citadel heard her._

_Riding out the aftershocks of her orgasm she laid against the bed, her bones feeling like jelly as he moved up her body and buried his face in her neck as his hand gripped her thigh and pulling it up to hook it over his hip, pressing his large erection at her center. “I need to feel you around me,” he growled against her neck as her sheathed himself in her warm, tight wetness._

_She wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him in deep and tightened her muscles around him, loving the sound he made as he slid out of her and pumped himself back in side of her quickly. “Fuck don’t do that,” he ground out, gritting his teeth together and slammed his hips against hers._

_“That spot.” She lifted her hips, pressing her palms flat against the headboard and whimpered in pleasure as he swelled, stretching her to her absolute limits. The pleasure mixed with pain was enough to make her want to explode into a tiny million pieces. “You’re so big,” she moaned out._

_His stomach muscles clenched to her words as he worked her. “Tell me.” He slammed into her again, bending down to take her nipple into his mouth._

_“Garrus!”_

_“Tell me, Shepard.” He stopped his movements, holding onto his last ounce of self-control, his cock pulsing inside of her._

_“The biggest,” she moaned, bucking her hips to take him deeper. “I have ever had. I love how you stretch me for you.”_

_His hands gripped her hips, as he leaned back and pistoned himself in and out of, his mandibles cinched against his face tightly, his breath coming out as pants as he locked eyes with her. She wrapped her hands into the sheets, rubbing her clit as he fucked her, her breathing becoming choppy._

_He grunted and fell on top of her, pounding into her. He heard her whisper his name against her neck before she clamped her mouth down on his neck, her teeth biting into his flesh. He couldn’t hold out any longer and slammed into her again sinking his teeth into her shoulder and came with her, as one, letting her milk his cock to utter completion._

_Her essence flooded into him, her heartbeat becoming one with his as they came together. He felt like a hundred thousand suns were exploding into a supernova inside his mind, as their orgasms collided with one another sending them into Oblivion and pure, unadulterated ecstasy._

Garrus focused his eyes on her smiling face in the picture, giving one last stroke to his cock before he came, grunting and moaning bent over the table spurting his blue seed into his hand.  

They certainly had some catching up to do. 

 

* * *

 

_“Okay, so can I ask why Garrus is the XO? I’m a Major in the Alliance Navy and I trained Biotics. I believe I am more than qualified,” Kaidan huffed sitting at the poker table with Vega, Joker and Cortez. “Was there a vote or something I didn’t know about? I would have liked a vote.” Vega made a face at him and drew a card._

_“Nah man, it’s probably because they’re bumpin’ uglies.” Joker was taking a sip of his drinking and snorted, throwing himself into some sort bizarre cough and laugh trying to keep his drink from spewing around the table. Cortez looked down smiling with a blush creeping onto his dark skin. “Does that embarrass you Esteban? Or maybe you’re jealous,” he said winking earning him a glare._

_“Bumpin’ uglies? Really Vega?”_

_“What? It’s been then saying fucking because honestly, how the fuck does that work?” Joker laughed and shook his head._

_“Who cares? He obviously satisfies her if she never gave in to your horrible advances. So he must be do something right. Maybe he’s got a really big cock.” Vega threw a balled up napkin at him. “And hey, don’t knock Garrus.”_

_“Do Turians even have those?” The three of them looked at Cortez who wore a shocked look on his face, his cheeks blushing profusely, and sputtered._

_“What? How would- I wouldn’t -Why are you looking at me?” Joker gave him an “Oh please” look, his lip turning up at the corner. “I’m not even into aliens!”_

_“So that wasn’t your copy of Fornax down in the shuttle bay, Esteban?” Kaidan looked at Vega._

_“I thought that was yours honestly.”_

_“No, I keep all my porno hidden in a very safe and secure place thank you very much.” Joker looked at him refilling his drink. “And no, I do not look at Fornax. Other stuff but not that freaky shit.” Again, they looked at Cortex expectantly who sighed presumably wishing he wasn’t having this conversation._

_“Yes they do have the,” he searched for the right words. “The expected anatomy of sorts.”_

_“So it’s different?” Vega asked taking the bottle of brandy from Joker. Kaidan, noticing Cortez’s uncomfortable look on his face, tried to change the subject._

_“I don’t think it really matters. Can we get back to my original question? How did Garrus become XO?”_

_“Shepard appointed him,” Joker said looking into his hand of cards, bouncing his leg._

_“Yeah, but why? Why not Vega or me?” Joker raised his eyebrows at him._

_“You? Seriously?” He scoffed, rolling his eyes. Kaidan lifted his hand palm up and looked at him with a confused and slight hurt expression._

_“What’s wrong with me?” Joker tightened his jaw, clenching his teeth. He didn’t really want to get into with Kaidan but it seemed that Kaidan was refusing to let it go. He knew that Shepard was willing to let go of what happened, but had never fully trusted him again and he wasn’t sure if she had ever truly forgiven him. He had never really forgiven him about his shitty attitude on Horizon. He disrespected Shepard and he had felt that it was direct insult to him. If Kaidan believed that she was a traitor then he believed Joker and Garrus were too._

_“What makes you think that she would have ever chosen you?” He narrowed his eyes and looked straight at Kaidan, forgetting about the card game. “After the fucking bullshit stunt you pulled on Horizon?” Kaidan had the decency to look chagrined._

_“I told her I was sorry. I told her that I owned up to most of what happened on Horizon. I asked her if we could bury it and forget about it. She agreed that that was how we moved past it!” he ground out, gritting his teeth together and crossing his arms over his chest, leaning back in his seat._

_“So one apology is supposed to make up for you practically accused her of treason? You called her a traitor,” he hissed, feeling his body heating up. He had kept his mouth shut around Kaidan but only because Shepard had asked him too. He was fed up with and she wasn’t here to put a stop to it. “If she was a traitor then so was I, so was Tali, and so was Garrus. You couldn’t pull your head of your ass long enough to listen because all you could see was fucking Cerberus. Well guess what? While you and everyone else fucked around, refused to search for Shepard and just decided that it was better to write her off they saved her and brought her back. I heard her try and tell you that she wasn’t just “gone” and it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t contact you, but you just walked away.” Angrily, he took a sip of his drink, the liquid sloshing around dangerously. Vega made a face and looked at Kaidan with an apologetic look._

_“I’m sorry to say this Major but I have to agree with Joker on this one, man. I was there on Mars with you. You outright accused her of still working with Cerberus and of, basically, trying to steal information and kill her ex-girlfriend. She’d had no contact with anyone, not even Garrus, and even after I told you that you still couldn’t let it go. She’d been under complete house arrest, ball and chain tied to her. The only people she could communicate with were the ones who came by her room like me and Anderson.”_

_“What was I supposed to think?” he cried angrily. “We saw, even you Joker, what Cerberus had done to their people. They turned them into husks, enslaving them to do the Thorian’s bidding. They used the Rachni!” Joker slammed his drink down on the table._

_“You were supposed to fucking trust her! To trust us! Not once had any of us ever given you any reason to believe that we would betray the Alliance or our own goddamn people. **That** is why she didn’t want you as her XO. He came onto the Normandy knowing full well what Cerberus did and didn’t ask any questions because he believed in her, trusted her. Fuck, even Tali came onto the Normandy and worked with Miranda and Jacob after Cerberus had blown up one of her people’s ships! Jack, who had more reason in the universe to hate Cerberus like a motherfucker, trusted Shepard. I never had any illusions about Cerberus but they gave me the Normandy back, brought Shepard back. I fully expected for Shepard to cut ties and bounce once she believed she had stopped the Collectors. But she chose Garrus as her XO because he was always there, never doubted her and trusted her implicitly. Something you never had the balls to do.” Joker felt his hand trembling with anger and he gripped his cards tightly, his fingers turning white. He might have fractured something but he was too angry to care. If he wasn’t worried about breaking all his bones he would have hit Kaidan square in the nose and would have felt no remorse about it. _

_“Jack’s case was completely different. They didn’t turn her into a mindless husk. They didn’t use her for some sick and twisted experiments to figure out how the Reapers used mind control. They didn’t set the Rachni lose on her and force to fight them or worse. They used her to unlock the full biotic potential in humans, no worse than what I went through,” he said trying to disprove something or prove a fact but instead made a fool of himself. Joker and Vega stared at him in disbelief and even Cortez shook his head, closing his eyes at what Kaidan said._

_“Major, you’ve got it all wro-” Vega started to say but Joker cut him off, laughing at his words._

_“So you think being tortured is anything like what you went through at BAaT? You think that keeping a little girl isolated, away from all contact at all times is in anyway similar to your training? They ripped her away from her family, just like the other children, they injected drugs into her body and forced her to fight until the death with other children. They brainwashed her. They had turned her into what she was before she came onto the Normandy. They performed more experiments on her than any one of could ever know about. I hope, for your sake, that you never say that to Jack’s face. Don’t you ever compare your training to what Jack when through. She went through fucking hell while you sat around in a nice clean place with friends and laughter. Go fuck yourself.”_

Joker was pulled out his thoughts at EDI’s voice, feeling the anger wash over him all over again. Their argument had come to an abrupt halt when Traynor had come over the com to tell Kaidan that he had received a message from the Council. Joker rolled his eyes. _A fucking Council member. Great. Now his big ass head will be even fucking bigger_ , he thought bitterly. _At least he’ll be off the goddamn Normandy_. He wasn’t sure why Shepard had recommended him and when he had asked Garrus if he knew he was only given a vague answer. He didn’t believe that Garrus didn’t have at least an idea, they were practically joined at the hip, but he also knew that they hadn’t been able to talk again.

“I sense that you are distressed, Jeff. Might I enquire as to what the cause of this abnormal behavior is?” He looked over and shook his head. Sometimes he really hated that she was a robot, but he wouldn’t trade her for anything. As strange and unnatural as it might seem to other people, he loved her and believed that she loved him as well. If people didn’t like it, then so be it. The only people whose opinions mattered to him were the ones of the crew on the Normandy, minus Kaidan of course. _She should have killed him, not Ash_ , he thought and immediately grimaced at himself.

“I’m fine, EDI.”

“Again, I must insist on calling you on your bullshit. My scans and readings are showing that your heart rate is elevated and is most likely caused by anger.” He sighed and turned his chair towards her, keeping a partial eye on the readings. They weren’t abnormal but there was something different about them.

“I was just remembering a conversation I had with Kaidan, it’s nothing really. I’m worried about you. Has Tali been able to help at all?” She was quiet for a moment, refusing to meet is eyes. He sighed and spun his chair back around, not noticing the red light that started flashing. “I’m not asking to hurt your feelings. I know how hard it must be for you, but you can’t deny that something is wrong. For shit’s sake, EDI, you’re having trouble maintaining connections for vid-coms and to my knowledge that was never a problem for you, you have forgotten about things until you’re reminded of them.”

“Jeff!” she said suddenly, her hands coming up to her console.

“No, let me finish I love you and I-”

“No, Jeff. We’ve been tagged.” He looked at the holo interface and froze. “Someone is trying to establish a connection with us.”

“Who?” he asked swiping things across and adding others, trying to figure out how he didn’t notice this. She looked at him, her eyes wide.

“The Batarians.” He froze.

“Fuck. Me.”

 


	11. Batarians Part 2 and Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Garrus, Tali and Javik investigate the Batarian ship and find something they were not expecting while Shepard deals with her own issues. 
> 
> WARNING: Very dark.

**Author’s Notes:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed on the last chapter! It means so much to me! I hope you enjoy this chapter and it’s not too dark.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, it all belongs to Bioware. 

 

* * *

 

Joker looked up at Garrus who was standing next to him, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes darting from the console to the window, occasionally focusing on his visor.  

“I repeat: this is the SSV Normandy of the Alliance Navy. We have the Primarch of Palaven on board. Identify yourself.” Joker threw his arms up in the air and sighed. “They’re not responding. They want to hail us and then not fucking respond. Typical.” Garrus looked over at EDI.

“EDI, have your scans found anything?” Her hand glided over the terminal in front of her, pressing her mechanical fingers against the screen and shook her head.

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Preliminary scans have shown that the ship is functioning without impediments. I detect signs of life aboard, but there is no way to be certain unless we board.”

“Then we go on board. Tell Tali and Javik to meet me at the airlock in ten,” he said turning his back and heading for the elevator. Joker turned around giving him an incredulous look.

“You’re going on?”

“Yeah, why?” He turned around, shrugging his shoulders.

“Um, maybe because they are Batarians and hate the Commander, er, Admiral? And oh, right maybe because it is just us out here with no one to call for back up? I mean, it’s just a thought.” Garrus gave a deep chuckle shook his head.

“We’ll be fine.”

“Yeah but- okay, suit yourself,” he said turning back around.

“But what?” Joker sighed and once again turned around to look at him.

“Nothing, really.” Garrus titled his head at him, raising a brow plate. “Fine,” he sighed. “Look I know you used to be a C-Sec officer and you’re the Primarch now and all but do you really think this is a good idea?”

“You don’t think I’m capable of handling the situation?” Garrus asked giving him a small smile, his mandibles twitching.

“No! I just have a bad feeling about this.”

“Shepard would go on board to make sure everything is okay, despite her feelings towards the Batarians.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not Shepard,” Joker snapped at him. As soon as the words left his mouth he clamped his mouth shut and closed his eyes. “Look, that’s not what-”

“I know what you mean. I’m not Shepard and I’m not trying to take her place, but I am the XO and I want us to do what the Normandy has always done. Whether or not we like the Batarians or they like us we have to make sure that everyone aboard that ship,” he pointed out the window. “is okay.” Joker sighed.

“I know, it just doesn’t feel the same without Shepard.” He swallowed and picked at an invisible piece of lint on his pants. He’d been under Shepard’s command for so long it was strange to take orders from someone else. Garrus gave him a sympathetic look and nodded, an expression flitting over his face.

“Trust me when I say that I understand how you feel. We all do,” he said softly, his voice a deep rumble. They were quiet for a few moments before Joker looked up and spun his chair around.

“Alright, enough with this pity party.”

“Another party? I don’t think I could handle another one so soon,” Tali said coming to stand next to Garrus. He looked at her and shook his head.

“Are you ready?” She nodded as he turned and glanced at Javik who was carrying his rifle, tossing it to him.

“Let’s go.”

Tali stood by the airlock and waited as Javik and Garrus situated their helmets.

“What do we know?”

“Nothing really. EDI said that there are people on board but when we tried to communicate no one answered.”

“That’s odd. Didn’t they hail us?” she asked reaching around to grab her shotgun.

“Yeah. I guess we’ll find out what’s going on when we get on.” The door shut behind them as the airlock hissed open, the door sliding upwards.

They stepped forward onto the connecting platform and carefully made their way to other side. The door to the Batarian ship opened and the emergency lights were on, bathing the area in a pale yellow orange.

“Be on your guard. I do not have a good feeling about this,” Javik said moving somewhere behind Garrus.

They moved into the corridor, behind the pilot seat and found no one. Garrus turned and motioned for them to fall behind him, gripping his rifle in his hands careful to keep his finger off the trigger. It was eerie. Emergency lighting lit up the floor, guiding their way through the darkened CIC. The only sounds they could hear were the creaking bulkheads and their own deep, even breathing.

As they moved past the map, Tali stopped and checked the message terminal on the wall.

“Anything?”

She shook her head, her eyes continuing to scan through the most recent messages. One caught her attention and motioned for Garrus. “This one,” she pointed to a message. “This is a general distress message that they tried to send right before hailing us, but the sending failed. Something isn’t right here Garrus. Where did they all go?” Her glowing eyes looked up at him and he shook his head, at a loss for any possible ideas of what could have happened.

How could they send a distress message, try to contact the Normandy and then just disappear?  Why were they so far out and away from the rendezvous point? Were they at Earth and were somehow trying to make their way to the Exodus Cluster? Why did they wait until seeing the Normandy to send a distress message? Something was very, very wrong.

“Joker. Have EDI, Alenko, Vega, Liara and Cortez secure all points of entry on the Normandy. I don’t like this,” Garrus said.

“Will do.”

“Alright, let’s get to the lower deck and see if we can figure out this mystery.” He moved towards the elevator and pressed the button to summon it. Nothing happened. “Fantastic.” He looked around for another door, but didn’t see anything.

“EDI, can you pull up schematics of this ship? The elevator is out and there are no stairs leading to the crew’s quarters.” Almost immediately his omni-tool pinged.

“I am seeing that there are ducts that run from beneath where you are standing to the next level. However, it is not meant for someone of your size, Garrus.” He looked at Tali who gave him a horrified look, stepping back and shaking her head.

“What? No! I had my fun with vents, shafts and ducts back on the Collector base!”

“You do not have a choice. You are the smallest one here, Quarian.” She shot Javik a scathing look and pointed at him.

“EDI said that Garrus is too big, she said nothing about you. If you take off your shoulder guards then you should be able to fit just fine. I am not willing to go down into a creepy, dark duct that leads to another deck without any knowledge of what happened, if anything, to the people on this ship,” she argued, crossing her arms over her chest, giving a pleading look to Garrus. He looked between her and Javik trying to make a decision.

She was the smallest, but her combat skills, in case she had to fight, were not as honed as Javik’s. Tali could hold her own so long as she had a team with her, but on her own… he wasn’t sure she’d be able to make it. Then again, on the other hand she was the tech expert. She would be able to get the elevator working again and if need be he could send Javik in after her if things got out of hand. He cast her an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry Tali, but I need you to get the elevator working.” Javik bent down and pulled up on the floor, lifting the grate and pushing it to the side. Tali threw Garrus a look that clearly said they would be discussing this later before lowering herself into the duct. He leaned over and peered down, watching as she disappeared from view.

“Okay, I’m down here. I don’t see anyone or hear anything except for the ship,” came Tali’s voice through his helmet, startling him.

“Can you get the elevator working?” When she didn’t answer he nodded at Javik who began to lower himself into the duct. “Tali?”

“Oh, Keelah,” she whispered. Javik looked up at Garrus who held up his hand to stop him.

“What is it Tali?” He felt his heart pump faster and his hands felt slick inside his gloves.

“There is blood everywhere.” Quickly Javik dropped himself into the ducts without a backward glance at Garrus, leaving him alone.

“Do you see anyone?” He was answered again with silence until Javik answered his question.

“No bodies. This is not good,” he said quietly.

Garrus crouched down and pressed his back against a nearby crate, trying to slow his breathing and his heart rate. This didn’t make any sense. They were more than just a few million miles away from the nearest civilized planet and for some reason this Batarian ship was out here doing God knows what.

He tried to sort through the information, trying to pick at the inconsistencies and continued to come up blank. How could they send a general distress message just minutes before hailing the Normandy and there be absolutely no sign of life? EDI had said… EDI. She had said there were signs of life, but not _what_ type of life.

“EDI?” he called frantically over his radio. “What life did you detect on board this frigate?”

“I couldn’t discern what type of life, only that it was giving off heat signatures indicative of life.” He cursed and thought about Tali and Javik.

“Tali, Javik you have to get up here as soon as you can. Fuck the elevator, we need to go. Now!” No sooner had the words left his mouth he heard Tali’s high pitched scream echo through the dark and empty ship.

Instantly he released the latches on his armor, dropping the heavy pieces to the floor of the ship with a loud clang and scrambling to grab his rifle as he tried to maneuver his way down the duct cursing at his ridiculously large cowl, but managing to fit however uncomfortable it might be.

“Garrus? What’s happening? Why did Tali’s life signs just drop off?” Panic slithered through him and gripped him tightly as he pulled himself out of the duct, quickly scanning the darkened area for any signs of Tali or Javik.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? What the hell is going on over there? Javik’s vitals are dropping!”

“Joker, now is not the time!”

At the end of the hall he saw Javik leaning against the wall, holding his side. He made his way over to him and crouched next to him, opening his omni-tool to apply medi-gel.

“No, you have to find Tali. It took her that way,” he said pointing a shaking hand towards the other side of the ship.

“What is it?” Javik shook his head and Garrus noticed that his helmet was missing.

“I’ve never seen it before, not even in my cycle. I’ll be okay, go get the Quarian.” Garrus nodded and took off in the general direction that Javik had told him to go, swinging his rifle into position and carefully, quietly, made his way.

He turned to look behind him when he felt a rush of air but didn’t see anything. He whipped around at the sound of Tali’s voice and sprinted towards it, moving faster now that his chest piece was off. An emergency light was flashing and it was bouncing off of Tali’s helmet as a reflection.

“Tali,” he said, nearing her body. She was saturated in her own blood, a giant gash running from her right shoulder down to her left hip and her leg was twisted in such a way that he knew instantly that it was broken. He lowered his rifle as he came in front of her but her frightened gasp made him stop and turn in the direction that she was looking.

He saw a blur and was thrown backwards, his rifle leaving his hands as his back his the wall with immense force. He lifted his head and felt his blood run cold at the sight of the creature in front of him. It was unlike anything he had ever seen before and he had seen a lot of things in his life. The animal stood taller than he did and was covered in a mix of feathers and fur. The head on the thing was larger than a Krogan’s hump and it had ears that protruded from its head on the top.

It snapped its massive jaws, shaking its head and flung saliva across the area. Its yellow eyes glinted in the pale emergency lighting as it looked at Garrus who was scrambling to pick himself up off the floor and get to his rifle.

The creature charged towards him, releasing a deep, thunderous growl and sank its claws into Garrus’ shoulder making him jerk back in pain. He kicked out at the animal, digging his boots into what he assumed was the abdomen and it relinquished its hold on him, pulling back with a whimper. He kicked it again and scanned the ground desperately looking for any type of weapon he could get his hands on.

He tried to grab some broken glass but was yanked back by his leg as the creature took a hold of him, lifting him up and throwing him at Tali. She tried to move out of the way, but he collided with her; his body searing in pain and tried to ignore her cries.

He looked behind him at the creature that was standing there, panting and drooling like a rabid beast. His shoulder was gushing blood and he was sure that his back was fractured. Something next to him glinted and he reached out, grabbing a hold of the object and relief washed through him when he realized it was Tali’s shotgun.

He screamed in pain as he felt the sharp teeth of the abominable creature sink into his leg through his armor and tried to turn his body to shoot it, but he couldn’t get the angle right. If he tried to shoot it he was likely to hit himself instead.

Tali was trying to say something but it was incoherent and he couldn’t understand anything. He looked at her. “I’m sorry I made you go into the duct,” he choked out, trying to ignore the pain that was ricocheting through his body. Weakly she shook her head before her eyes closed and her movements stilled.

The creature pulled his mouth away from Garrus and he turned, pointed the shotgun and fired. The animal screamed and blood spurted from it, spraying Garrus and the wall behind him. It stumbled back and fell against the wall, growling at him. Quickly he expelled the heat sink and fired again, trying to aim for the heart but he wasn’t even sure where it would be located.

The beast cried again and fell to the floor, writhing in pain. Again he fired and got it in the head, watching with satisfaction as the side of the head flew off and the animal stilled once and for all. He dropped the shotgun and pushed himself off of Tali.

He laid there and looked at her still figure, fighting to keep his eyes open.

“I’m sorry, Tali,” he whispered. His last thoughts before he succumbed to the darkness that enveloped him were of Shepard and her smile. 

 

* * *

 

_She was running, always running through the dark, misty forest. The whispering voices caressed her skin, their breath tickling the back of her neck. It was never ending; the forest stretched on as far as the eye could see, the ground a dark, muddy color and silent beneath her pounding feet._

_The whispers coaxed her, devoured her and she felt as if she could not escape them. There was no escaping this place. No matter how hard she tried, how fast she ran there was no end to the madness, no end to her guilt._

_Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams appeared and ran with her, her face contorted in hatred. “You left me to die!”_

_She shook her head, her breath silent even though she could feel the constant, rapid thud of her own heart beating against the inside of her chest like a caged, broken animal trying to escape._

_“You can’t run, can’t hide from your guilt,” she whispered, pressing her lips against her ear. “You were a coward.”_

_“Coward,” the whispers echoed, the wind carrying their voices between the dark, dead trees. Thane Krios stood some fifty feet away and she shouldn’t have been able to hear him, but she did. She always heard him._

_“You could have saved me.” She willed her legs to move her faster, darting between the trees. “You just stood there and let him stab me with his sword. You are no siha.”_

_“No!” It wasn’t true; there was nothing she could have done to stop the bastard Kai Leng from murdering him. His usual serene face changed, shifted, into a look of rage and he pointed a finger at her._

_“Yes! You watched as he sliced into me. You never fired, never ran to help or call out.”_

_Her bare feet pounded the ground. She dug her toes into the Earth, her hair whipping out behind her as she kept her pace. There was no stopping, no matter how much she wanted too. It was as if there was a force controlling her, pushing her forward of her own accord._

_He disappeared as she ran past him, shimmering into nothingness. Mordin Solus and Legion suddenly flanked her. Mordin’s eyes flashed in fury as Legion’s normally bright blue light turned a deep, dark red staring her down._

_“Krogan and Turian support more important than me, Shepard.” She clasped her hands over her ears, shaking her head. This wasn’t real, they knew, they understood._

_“Shepard-Commander believed peace between Creators and Geth would last, but for what?”_

_“Let me go, let me die. Less important than precious Turians.”_

_“You easily destroyed us, killed us in a fraction of a second to save your life.”_

_“Lead me to believe work on Genophage wrong! Only to push me to death!”_

_“No,” she whispered, tears cascading over her lashes and splashed on her cheeks. She wanted to stop, to quit running. She had to explain but her voice wouldn’t work. Their whispers too loud in her ears. “Someone else might have gotten it wrong,” she sobbed, remembering Mordin’s words._

_“Pointless, pointless waste of life.”_

_“You let me die only to kill the Geth.”_

_Their forms dissipated, leaving her alone again but she knew. She knew she was never alone in this forest. They were always watching her, goading her. She could feel them pressing in on her, she felt as if she was suffocating but would not die as if her body would not allow it._

_Saren Arterius ran behind her, his talons ghosting over her skin, his mouth plates pressed close to her ear. She shivered, but her pace never faltered. The leaves slapped against her face, stinging her cheeks. There wasn’t supposed to be pain in dreams. In this world there was always pain._

_“You made no difference.” His breath danced over her neck, his hand sliding over her arm, bringing her body flush with his. She squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to look at him. He waved a hand in front of them, “Look at who you sacrificed for your goals.”_

_She opened her eyes and turned her head away. His hand left her arm and jerked her face toward the small crowd, gesturing wildly. “Their deaths were in vain,” his words ripping into her, pulling a groan from her throat._

_They were lying in a pile; their bodies stacked one on top of another. Their blood mingled to create a deep, putrid color and she felt the bile rising in her throat. She tried to swallow and shook her head._

_He jerked her to a sudden halt, spinning her to face him, his hands fisting into her hair and forced her face up to his. His blue, mechanical eyes bore into hers and no matter how hard she fought she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his unrelenting gaze._

_“I tried to save the galaxy,” he growled, tugging her towards him. “But you,” he whispered, bringing his head down and scraping his teeth over her soul bond mark. “You saved no one.”_

_She lifted her hands and shoved at him, knocking him to the ground, anger slithering through every inch of her skin. “No!” she screamed. Her body started to run again, jumping over the pile of bodies. “I saved the galaxy.”_

_“Is that what you think?” He was up and following her, hot on her heels. He grabbed her arm and swung her around to him, motioning to the forest. “What do you see, Shepard?”_

_She looked past his shoulder and her stomach heaved. The scene had changed. There was no forest, not anymore. There was only death and destruction. Everyone she had ever known was little the ground, their bodies stiff and unmoving. Buildings from across the galaxy lay broken and smoking._

_In this world it was only her and Saren standing amid the ruins of all galactic civilization. He circled behind her, his whispering voice flowing over her. “The man you love is gone. The Quarian you held so dear is rotting somewhere down the road, can’t you smell them?”_

_Her nostrils flared, smelling the burnt and rotting bodies and she heaved, spewing whatever contents she had in her stomach onto the broken pavement, tears flowing from her eyes. “No, no I-”_

_“You spoke to them?” He finished her sentence and his silky laugh enveloped her, drowned her. She couldn’t breathe. “That was but a dream.” He pushed her broken form to the ground and she crawled towards Garrus’ lifeless form, throwing herself on top of him._

_She cried over him, touching his face, pulling him into her lap and rocked back and forth. “No,” she whispered, her anguish taking a hold of her. His eyes that had once held so much life, stared up at her blankly. The bright blue a now dull, milky color._

_“You failed your bond mate,” Saren goaded, bending down next to her his hand sliding over shoulder and down her back. She jerked away from him and squeezed her eyes shut at his cold, quiet laugh. He grabbed a hold of her hair and ripped her from Garrus, dragging her and throwing her down in front of Liara. “Your ex-lover you left behind.”_

_He continued this, throwing her down upon the bodies of the people she cared about most saving her mother for last. “You killed her because you are a coward!” his whisper hissed into her ear._

_She shook her head. It couldn’t be true. None of this could be true. It had felt so real, talking to Garrus on Earth and then her mother._

_“Of course it felt real,” he read her thoughts. They were always inside her head, calling her name._

_She felt herself being thrown and collided with a nearby vehicle, her back slamming into it making her dizzy. She groaned and tried to stand, but Saran stood over her whispering in fervent tones but she couldn’t understand any of what he was saying._

_He bent down, took a hold of her shoulder and sunk his talons deep into her flesh. “You failed, Admiral.” He pulled back and she felt the familiar rush of warm blood spilling over her shoulder, lifting her hand and touching it._

_“No, I saved them. I had to make the necessary sacrifices to ensure life.” She tried to move, to get away from him._

_She had to find a way out of this place or she would die here._ Would that be so bad? _A voice asked inside her head. She squeezed her eyes shut against the hot, stinging tears that threatened to erupt._ You already wish you were dead _. But she didn’t._

_“That’s why you’re a coward!” His voice ceased to be a whisper and instead became a deep, thundering bellow echoing off the empty streets._

_He dug his talons into her leg and she cried out, trying to kick him away but to no avail. “You wanted to live. To not give up anything and instead doomed an entire race to extinction.”_

_He dragged her to him, his talons sinking deeper every time she moved until his face was hovering above her speaking to her, but she couldn’t hear him. His voice was fading. The scene was disappearing._

Her eyes flew open, her hand grasping at the bond mark as Garrus’ name was ripped from her throat in a scream. It wasn’t a dream but something was wrong. Her hand stilled over the mark and her mind searched for something. Something triggered her nightmare to change.

She didn’t know how and she didn’t know why, but she knew there was something definitely wrong with Garrus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel that I must apologize, profusely, for how dark this chapter turned out to be. However, I found that it was necessary. My husband is Army and I know what soldiers can go through after being in war. It seems natural that Shepard would suffer from some form of PTSD and her reactions are those of someone who blames themselves for the deaths of people she wished she could have saved, but couldn't. 
> 
> As for Garrus and the others, it didn't seem very logical that they would be the only ones out in Space. Since I'm not fond of Batarians and I think that they are, well, stupid I decided that it would be them to find an unknown creature, bring it aboard and not take the necessary precautions. However, more WILL be explained in the next chapter. 
> 
> I am sorry if you didn't enjoy this chapter, but hopefully you did, regardless of how it turned out. I was going for something different but this just seemed the best for the plot line.


	12. Tali'Zorah vas Normandy

Garrus cracked his eyes open and groaned, trying to figure out where he was. He heard the beeping of a machine to his right and felt a cool hand on his arm. Liara leaned over him, her face lined with worry but she was smiling softly at him.

“I was afraid you would never wake up,” she murmured, fussing with the IV in his arm. Her crystal eyes looked up at the beeping monitor before sliding back to him.

“Tali,” he croaked, his throat burning. She waved her hand at him and looked over her shoulder.

“Don’t try to talk,” she said handing him a glass of water, sliding her hand under his head to help him gulp down the cooling liquid. She set the glass down with a click, her painted brows drawing down with a frown marring her smooth skin. “Tali, she,” she bit her lip, running a hand over her forehead and taking a shaky breath, tears welling in her eyes. He closed his eyes and swallowed, his heart dropping into his stomach. Instantly his mind flashed to the moment he discovered his team on Omega realizing he had let them down, killing them all. “She’s been stabilized, but I’m afraid that if we do not get to Earth soon she won’t make it Garrus. Her injuries and illness are – they aren’t something we can fix aboard the Normandy.”

His mandibles clenched tightly against his jaw and gritted his teeth. “Is,” he swallowed against the dryness. “is she conscious?” Liara’s face crumpled, fat tears escaping her eyes and rolling down her cheeks as she shook her head.

“No,” she whispered, her bottom lip quivering. She licked her bottom lip, looking over her shoulder again before turning back to him. “No, she’s comatose.” She crossed her arms over her chest, running her hands over her biceps as if she were cold. She took a deep breath, looking up before exhaling.

“Is she in pain?” She shook her head and swallowed.

“No. Doctor Chakwas assures me that she can’t feel anything.” Despite Tali’s condition, that was good news. It would be a horrible fate to be comatose yet to be in constant pain, unable to wake up but inside screaming and writhing. The thought alone was enough to turn his stomach. “However I have asked Javik, who is fine by the way, to watch over her. It’s not that I don’t trust Doctor Chakwas; I just need to know for certain. Every few hours or so he reads her and says she’s dreaming pleasant dreams.”

He raised a brow plate at her and she smiled softly. He decided not to comment, but wasn’t sure if Javik was telling the truth or only telling Liara that to make her feel better. Either way, she was alive and that is what mattered. He tried to sit up but grimaced in pain as his shoulder screamed in protest. Almost immediately Liara was chastising him. “Don’t try to move, Garrus. Doctor Chakwas did what she could but until we can get to Earth you too are bed bound.” He gave her an incredulous look earning a very stern and, if he were to be honest, quite scary look from his blue friend. “If I have too I will slap you with a stasis.” He decided not to press the issue reluctantly agreeing to not leave the med bay.

“What about Tali’s suit?” He thought suddenly. Without her suit that was a death sentence if there ever was one and he would never forgive himself.

“EDI has integrated with Tali’s suit to try and fight any infections but since EDI is still not well I should say, it’s as if she is fighting a losing battle and no matter what we try to do EDI will not respond to us. Doctor Chakwas believes that EDI is the only thing keeping her alive right now however minimal her help might be.” Tears welled in her azure eyes and she tried to blink them back.

“Does Shepard know?” Her tears dried instantly at the question, an emotion passing over her face too quickly for him to catch before answering.

 “Shepard is… aware of the situation,” she said slowly. She gave him a curious look, her brows drawn down before looking to the left of him at some interesting spot on the floor. He learned long ago that whenever Liara had that look it was not necessarily a good thing.

“What is it?” She sighed, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she was able to answer.

“Nothing I just – I’m confused is all.”

“About what?” She continued to look at him with confusion in her eyes.

“You’re soul bound to her. It’s natural that she would know about it,” she said quietly as if discussing a deep, dark secret. His mandible twitched and he looked at his hands before looking at her again.

“It’s more of a feeling. It doesn’t work like that,” he corrected her. She shrugged and her eyes widened.

“I don’t know how else to explain it then, Garrus. Turian-Human bondings are rare. There are not enough documented pairs to know how many are actually soul bound and what the effects of them are.” She raised her hands palm up and let them flop down against her thighs, sighing. “Turian-Turian soul bonding is different than Turian-Asari soul bonding so it is only logical that Turian-Human soul bonding would be different as well. Consider: Human genetics are the most diverse of all known species. Human bodies adapt much faster than that of any other species. Put a Human on Rannoch for a year and they will adapt then place them on Palaven for a year and their bodies will quickly adapt to the heat, though probably not radiation, and then drop them on Thessia for a year before sending them back to Earth.

“You give a Human a situation and their bodies will adapt. You introduce a new disease and their bodies will adapt. Give them a new drug and their bodies will counter it with anti-bodies much quicker than your or my body could. In two-thousand thirteen, in Human history, their scientists realized that their bodies were building up natural immunities to anti-biotics so they had to create new ones. Human viruses adapt, learn and grow based off of their bodies because their bodies adapted to the virus and built up immunities. How do you think that Humans took so well to space flight? They _adapted_. Their past is a litany of adaptation, often confused with evolution.”  She paused to look at him, to make sure that he was keeping up. He gave her a confused look, not exactly sure where she was going with this. She bit her bottom lip, trying to gather her thoughts before continuing.

“Are you saying that I altered her genetics or DNA?” She shook her and was quiet for a moment.

“I doubt it. To actually alter her DNA or genetics that would take years, look at the Collectors. Even with the Reapers highly advanced technology it took at least one hundred years to alter the DNA of the Protheans. I think and of course I cannot say with absolute certainty, but I believe that when you bonded with her, her body, her entire being, became tuned to yours and it is likely that your body is also connected to hers as well but there is no way of knowing for sure and extensive testing. She can feel when and precisely where you are in pain. Perhaps it even extends to happiness, pleasure, sadness I don’t know.

“I believe, and again I might be wrong, that your bond is like what Asari do when they meld with others except for the both you, it happens as natural as breathing. It’s quite fascinating really. I never had anything like that with her when we, well, were together. I wonder though,” she spoke as if she was thinking out loud, forgetting that he was lying in front of her on his bed as she perched herself on a stool. “that if perhaps given the right circumstances we could provoke it. Nothing involving pain, which would be inhumane, but maybe try hypnosis. Hm.”

As she continued to rattle on, lost in thought and speaking aloud reminding him of Mordin, he thought about what she had said. If it were true then shouldn’t he have been able to feel her pain when she was trapped under the debris on Earth as her life slowly slipped away? A nagging voice in the back of his head told him no, because for the most part she had been asleep. When she had woken he was probably unconscious, but he remembered the strange dreams he had been having feeling as if he were trapped, unable to breath and how his limbs were broken yet somehow knowing that Elizabeth had been alive even when Kaidan had questioned him about it. He had _felt_ her.

His thoughts drifted back to when she jumped into the diving mech and dove into the ocean in search of Leviathan. At some points when she was down there he couldn’t feel her at all then at other times he had felt a cold, dark feeling sweep over him. Even on Namakli and numerous missions he had to check himself for bullet wounds feeling as if he had been shot and when he found none he had thought it was strange, but he had never even considered that it was because he was feeling what Elizabeth had felt.

Putting pain aside whenever he and Elizabeth made love his orgasm was so much more intense than it should have been. Considering she had taken him on every mission and he had always been with her since they bonded it was hard to say if the feelings he had ever had were truly his own. He found it odd, however, that he had been having those feelings before she was soul bound to him but he had given her his soul and essence before going through the Omega-4 Relay so perhaps it did make sense that he would feel _her_ the entire time but she would _not_ be feeling him until now. Thanks to Liara bringing it to his attention there was no way he could deny that since they had fully bonded the feelings he had had become stronger.

“Garrus,” she said, her voice pulling him away from his thoughts and he looked at her. “Have you ever had a feeling but never understood why you had it?”

“Actually, yes,” he said slowly fully believing that Liara was in fact a mind reader.

“Really? That is-” she began but whipped around at the sound of a groan. She turned her back to him and bent over Tali’s figure doing something with her hands that he was unable to see. “Tali?” she whispered. There was no answer and Liara sighed, glancing at the monitor to check Tali’s vitals.

Garrus craned his neck to get a glimpse of Tali but to no avail only glimpsing where Tali’s legs were hidden beneath a beige blanket.

“Is she okay?” He should have never sent Tali into the duct on the Batarian ship without having all the details. Shepard would never have made that mistake and they would never be in this situation. His gut told him that they should have turned back but he didn’t listen. Liara turned back around, giving him a sympathetic look.

“She is fine. I was worried that she was waking up, but I started another drip on her IV for the pain. Javik should be here shortly to make sure that she is truly okay.” She patted his arm and opened her omni-tool. “I almost forgot. You have received more than three dozen emails while you were out. I will try to set up a network here in the med bay since you are confined to this area only, but until then I will continue mediating as much as possible. They are aware of the situation however so no need to worry.”

The door opened and Javik stepped through, his arm wrapped in a sling and he nodded at Garrus before his eyes settled on Liara a small smile pulling his lips up at the corner. Traynor was hot on his heels, peering over his shoulder with a worried look gracing her dark skinned face. Quickly she darted around him and rushed over to Tali’s bed, squeezing in behind Liara. Garrus lifted a brow plate at Liara who returned his look with an “I’ll explain later” look.

“Has she woken up at all? Her breathing is awfully shallow. She isn’t dehydrated is she? Is there anything I can do for her? Have her dressings been changed? If not, I am more than willing to do it,” Traynor gasped out breathlessly her hands fluttering nervously as she looked at Liara.

“Tali is doing well. Calm down, Samantha,” she said, laying a hand on the younger woman’s arm comfortingly. Garrus was fairly certain that there was something he was missing as he tried to jog his memory for any information that would indicate her behavior but came up blank. He hadn’t been aware that Tali and Specialist Traynor were that close, but perhaps it was one-sided. He would definitely have to ask Liara about it later.

“Her condition has not changed,” Javik said his eyes closed as he laid his hand down against Tali. “She is stronger now though then she was yesterday. Perhaps the AI is helping.” He looked up at them surprise written on his face. He tilted his head to the side, his eyes closing again as he drew his brows down. His eyes flew open in alarm. “Were you aware that your _EDI_ has integrated the Quarian into her own network? When did this happen?” Liara glanced down at Garrus before looking at Javik again confusion on her face.

“I don’t understand.”

“You mean like when Shepard went into the geth network?” Garrus asked.

“Yes, almost precisely the same.”

“What does that mean?” Traynor squeaked fear obvious in her voice. Javik tossed an annoyed look at Traynor’s back and Garrus smothered a smile. His new and blossoming relationship with the light blue Asari had not improved his people skills. She looked at Liara and pointed at her accusingly. “You said that she her condition was satisfactory.” Liara raised a perfect painted brow at her, crossing her arms over her chest opening her mouth to say something but Javik cut in.

“I do not trust machines but nevertheless this machine is helping your friend. By integrating the Quarian into the network she is keeping her mind strong and her body is responding to this,” he paused searching for the right word before his face took on a sour expression at his decision. “treatment.” Traynor turned around to look at him her anger at Liara forgotten.

“Has EDI said anything since she went offline?” Garrus jerked, not understanding.

“Wait. EDI is offline?”

“When she integrated with Tali’s enviro-suit she disabled herself from the Normandy and Doctor Eva’s body. As I said earlier she is not responding to us and Joker had been frantic with worry especially since she was not functioning correctly to begin with.”

“It,” Javik corrected, giving Liara a dismal look. She shrugged off his correction and turned back to Traynor.

The door opened and the four of them and Doctor Chakwas entered, her shoulders slumping from exhaustion and she stopped short eyeing them with curiosity her gaze lingering on Garrus with a doctor’s concern.

“I believe I said that he was to rest,” she chastised the three who were standing and they had the decency, including Javik who, surprisingly, had immense respect for the human doctor, to look chagrined. Liara’s cheeks flushed a pale azure and she looked down at her feet, finding some interesting spot on the floor.

“We came to check in on them and when I found Garrus awake-”

“Out,” Chakwas commanded, motioning to the door and giving them a stern look. “The last thing he or Tali needs is for you three to be causing them stress.”

“But I had to see if-” Traynor tried speaking but bit her lip and cowered beneath Doctor Chakwas’ glare.

“No. No excuses. Get. Out,” she enunciated, walking towards Garrus’ bed to inspect his monitors, drawing a syringe from a drawer and looked pointedly at the three of them. “Have all of you suddenly become hard of hearing? I said to leave. There will be no arguing about this. This is _my_ med-bay and you _will_ respect my authority on this matter. Now out,” she said, pushing a dark blue liquid into his IV before ushering the three of them out while Liara and Traynor threw concerned glances over their shoulders. “I will let you know when you can see them again. Get back to your duties. Do not forget that we have to get to Earth and our only tech expert is in a coma; that should be enough incentive to get your butts in gear.” Her face softened at their concerned looks and she sighed. “I understand that you’re worried, but rest assured that I will do everything in my capacity to help them.” The door closed and she exhaled in obvious relief before checking his monitors once again, opening her omni-tool and presumably recording his vitals.

Gradually he felt the pain fade and his eyes became heavy, drooping of their own accord before he drifted off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so very sorry for the long update, but lately I have been having trouble figuring how to maintain the story without jumping to the end much too quickly, so please bear with me as best you can. As always I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. :-)


	13. Speeches; Shepard's Speeches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shepard is confronted with a group of volunteers who are being worn down by the death they keep finding and Major Coats tells her to make one of her infamous speeches.

Shepard stood under a piece of debris, leaning casually against a hunk of concrete, as it drizzled; the rain washing away the blood, the little bits of broken glass, and other objects down the broken cement that was once a road.

Steam rose from the ground, whirling around her and turned the landscape into a picturesque London setting from any number of Jane Austen’s works – minus the motionless Reapers, the too many black bagged bodies and flying shuttles that whirred above her.

She’s always wanted to visit London but had never had the chance. It had been a dream of hers to bring Garrus, with just backpacks and an old fashioned camera, and explore the hundreds, thousands, of years of history that England, Scotland and Ireland had to offer and briefly she wondered if Stonehenge had survived the war. Her eyes shifted towards what had been Buckingham Palace but was now nothing more than a crater and it sickened her.

She let her eyes rise to the beat up, tilted and looking as if a strong wind could collapse it, Big Ben and remembered what Major Coats had said about hauling up there when the Reapers had attacked. She turned her head a fraction of an inch and saw him speaking to a group of volunteers that consisted of humans, Turians, Krogan and more than a few Quarians. Every now and then she would catch them watching her until the Major snapped out an order and they jerked their attention back to him.

The Major was more than capable of handling things on his own but for reasons unbeknownst to her he had requested that she make an appearance, mumbling something about “keeping up morale”. She refused at first, wanting to just rest her tired and achy form whilst wallowing in self induced pity and worrying about the situation aboard the Normandy.

When she had woken from her nightmare she couldn’t get to a QEC fast enough; pushing her startled guards out of her way and ran barefoot down the hall (not giving a thought about her scantily clad body – something Kasumi had scrounged up for her) until she reached the room, slapping her palm against the blue button and praying that it was just a nightmare.

She hadn’t understood how she knew about Garrus, she still didn’t and Liara had been short with her, not giving any answers just saying there was a “situation” and that Garrus and Tali had “sustained heavy injuries” but begged away to attend to them with the help of a frantic Chakwas calling for her in the background.

When she had called back a few hours later Traynor had answered the call, in tears which frightened Shepard, and blubbered at her about Tali. She hadn’t caught most of it but the words she did catch, words like “infection”, “severe suit rupture”, “coma”, “EDI offline” and “EDI integrated herself” was cause enough for her stomach to heave, her heart clench and left her dizzy.

She’d tried to sound comforting while enforcing her best “Commander” (Admiral now, she had to remind herself) voice, but all that did was cause Sam to lose whatever control she had, which hadn’t been much, and she made less sense then she had been, saying something about “Garrus needing cybernetics”, “had to get to Earth” and something about their soul bond, but she hadn’t caught that part.

She had never wished she could be aboard the Normandy more, but perhaps it was best if she wasn’t. All she’d do would hover in the Med-Bay, asking questions, getting angry when they went unanswered and probably crying at Garrus and Tali’s sides.

She’d asked to speak to Joker, but Sam (and Liara) had suddenly said she had to go. She had a suspicion that Joker was blaming himself about what happened and if he was, then she was going to beat the shit out him, regardless about his disease. Or maybe he blamed her for whatever was wrong with EDI, she thought, a sudden pain ripping through her.

“Admiral?” She tore her eyes away from the ground that she hadn’t known she was looking at and looked up into the Major’s dark blue eyes, lined with thick black lashes. He saluted her and she waved it off; she was so sick and tired of everyone saluting her all the damn time. “Did you want to say something to them? I think they could use hearing your voice.”

“What am I supposed to say, Coats? Keep up the good work at pulling the bodies out of the debris?” He gave her a confused look, a blush creeping onto his tanned skin.

“I-I just thought that, well, I’d heard about your speeches so…” Despite her mood, her lips turned upwards at the corners. She was famous for “all her damned speeches” as Jack had said once. She sighed and pushed away from the block of concrete, her muscles screaming at her and clapped him on the shoulder, giving him a small smile before she made her way towards the group of multi-species volunteers who were whispering to each other about her (she was a legend, a hero and savior to them), their faces lighting up and their eyes full of excitement at the prospect that she was _actually_ going to talk to them. To her surprise, she felt proud and humbled by this display.

She stood in front of them, taking in each and every one of their faces before she spoke to them. It was something she did, a habit she had gotten into doing, especially after Elysium. She had lost damn fine soldiers (they weren’t soldiers but she called them that because of how they laid down their lives for people they didn’t know), but she couldn’t remember what they looked like and that haunted her. She had never made that mistake again. She made it personal and maybe that was a weakness, downfall (“emotional baggage” her clone had said), but whenever she told the families (insisting that she be the one to do it and not some stranger that hadn’t served with, known or cared about their sister/brother/son/daughter/mother/father) she knew that it was heartfelt and they believed, thanking her for coming in person and she would hold their hand, hug them, or just sit and listen as they told her stories about them.

“You know,” she started, running her eyes across the group in front of her. “I was on Elysium when the Batarians attacked. Shore leave actually, one hell of a shore leave,” she said, giving a small smile to the few chuckles that escaped from the group. “It was hard. In their wake, the Batarians left death, destruction and chaos. I took a group, like you, and spoke to them like I am to you now. I told them that no matter what we saw, what we encountered, we needed to keep pushing forward and hold out until the Alliance could get there.

“I was honest. I am not in the business of lying, in fact I suck at it or so I’ve been told. I told them that we’d lose people, we wouldn’t be able to save everyone and we might have to sacrifice civilians just to save others, but I had confidence in them. I _knew_ , without a doubt, that they could do it. I saw it them, I saw the fires burning in their eyes as they listened to me,” she paused for a moment, shifting her weight and tried to read the expressions. Some looked confused as to why she was telling this story, others were intrigued and others looked like they wanted to cry (mostly the females of the bunch).

“You have that same fire. I see it in you; I feel it radiating from you. I know this is hard. Every damn day you’re finding more bodies, adding them to the lists that I have to look over at the end of duty hours. I can see the strain, the wear-and-tear of the death weighing on you, and the worry that you’re going to find someone you know, a child,” her voice broke and she cleared her throat, turning away to pace in front of them; the words tumbling from her lips, she was unable to stop them and the strange thing was that she _didn’t_ want too because this, speaking to them, felt _good_. It reminded her of why she fought, why she joined the Alliance, and why she had strived to survive through everything she had ever endured which was a hell of a lot if she honest with herself.

When she looked at them again, the absolute reverence that emanated from their eyes, she felt that maybe she had, for the first time, chosen the right path when faced with the choices on the Citadel. She noticed now, the people gathering around her to listen to what Shepard was saying.

In that moment she realized that they needed her. They trusted her, believed in her and suddenly her nightmares had no meaning, the whispers were wrong. She _hadn’t_ failed. She had succeeded; Anderson was right after all.

She looked around the crowd and her back straightened. Her gaze caught that of her friends who had meandered down and worked themselves in. The smirk on Wrex’s face, the grin splitting Jack’s face, the fist hammering of Grunt, the tears streaming down Kasumi’s normally composed face, and the proud look that graced Miranda’s sharp features pushed her on. Jacob nodded his head, Samara’s head bowed with a small smile and Zaeed had his arms crossed of his chest, his lips pulling up at the right side.

“This,” she waved her arms around her. “this is the cost of war, but we have to push on. Do we forget the ones who died? Never. Do we forget, ever, what we were fighting for? No. It hurts, it’s crushing, and I want to rip them apart, piece by piece, but know that we won. We fought tooth, nail, and talon,” she cast a glance at the Turians who puffed out their chests. “for this. All of us, even those who we find who have lost their lives, fought to keep our humanity, our lives, and our freedom.

“The ones we find fought harder than we did. They banded together before we asked them too, picked up arms that many of them have never used, and gave their lives for us. We honor them. We thank them. We _owe_ them our lives. When we find a body we shouldn’t feel sadness, we shouldn’t feel loss, but we instead should feel pride. They fought hard, against the odds, against the impossible. _We_ are standing here, speaking to each other now, because of _them_. So what do we **_DO_**?” she cried, unable to contain herself any longer. She was speaking to everyone. She turned in a circle, looking at everyone.

“Hold the line!” called a group of Salarians.

“Praise them!” the Asari cried.

“Honor them!” the Turians rumbled out.

“Remember their sacrifice!” the humans screamed.

“Yes! We will not forget them. We will not mourn them. Instead we will pay homage to their death by working together and setting them free. We will personally send them to Heaven, to the Spirits, to the Goddess,” she said, running her eyes along the faces that watched her. “You know what you have to do for them. So let’s do it. For the fallen!”

With a cry from everyone, they turned and hurriedly ran to their posts and positions, clamoring around each other to help. With pride exuding from her pores she watched them, smiling and believed, for once, that Coats was right about her speeches.

“Shepard,” Wrex said, touching her shoulder. “I missed your speeches.” She smiled at him, rubbing her arms and blushed.

“Makes me want to fight this fossil,” Grunt ground out, jerking his thumb towards Wrex, who shot him a dubious look.

“Listen junior, what have I said about --”

“Damn Shepard. I thought maybe you had gone soft, but fucking A. That’s your best speech by far.” She rolled her eyes at Jack.

“I didn’t make _that_ many speeches, Jack.”

“Sure,” Jack rolled her eyes.

“It was beautiful Shep.”

As Jack wound her arm around Miranda’s waist, pressing her mouth against her ear (a fact that Shepard still found a bit odd, but if they were happy then who was she to say anything?) and whispered something in her ear, causing Miranda to blush and look at Jack with sheer adoration, Shepard found a small bit of happiness that dampened her worries.

She smiled, a genuine smile that she hadn’t felt herself capable of, and believed, truly believed, that things on Earth would be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, REALLY hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. I know it's short, but I felt that it captured Elizabeth really well and it was needed. Please leave me comments. They keep me going!


	14. One More Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Chakwas loading her body with painkillers it is hard for Tali to stay focused on the present with her integration with EDI, so she flits between her past with Traynor and present with EDI.

** (Present – 1 day post attack - Batarian ship) **

Everything was familiar, yet different. Everything looked the same, yet slightly disproportionate. Everything was smooth, yet the edges were slightly blurred.

Perhaps if you had never seen the Normandy you wouldn’t have noticed, but she noticed. She stood in front of a console, running her ungloved fingers over the edge of the counter, watching as it warped and bent in time with her movements.

Her brows drew down over her eyes in curiosity, fascinated with the object. She felt light, like a bird, and giddy. She felt like her movements were in slow motion and it was odd, but hardly disconcerting. Whatever was happening, it was good. There were no worries here, no pain, no suffering.

“Tali’Zorah,” EDI said, her body seeming to appear next to her out of thin air, her smooth, slender face breaking out into a smile.

“What is this place?” Her voice sounded foreign to her ears without her face mask, no longer warbled and mechanical. She inhaled and smelled the metal of the Normandy, the recycled oxygen, and a brief whiff of a light, fresh scented perfume. That was odd. EDI didn’t wear perfume and to her knowledge she didn’t either.

“We’re in my network. This is how I see the Normandy or how I would see it, perhaps from your eyes, assuming I was organic.”

“It’s not seamless. The edges warp, bend and blur when I touch them.” EDI shifted her blue eyes downward as Tali spoke, watching as her fingers touched the edges and nothing happened.

“I believe you are experiencing slight hallucinations from the pain killers Doctor Chakwas has you on.” She shook her head and giggled at the light headed feeling, forgetting what EDI had just said although it was probably important.

“You’re really pretty EDI. Can I-can I touch your hair?” EDI raised a dark blonde eyebrow at Tali and smiled, her rosy lips parting and showed large white teeth. Tali reached her fingers out to touch the soft, flaxen colored hair that flowed past EDI’s shoulders, admiring her tanned skin and thin figure, albeit ridiculously tall.

“Is this – this human form – how you see me Tali?” EDI murmured, her head tilting to the side and her cobalt eyes filling with curiosity. Tali gave her a confused look, her jet black brows drawing down over her silver eyes.

“Of course. I’ve never seen you as a machine. Well, maybe in the beginning but now this is how I see you. This tall, elegant human woman is who you are to me, not your shining platform. I prefer you this way. You’re human to me, not an AI. Does-does that make sense?” EDI gave a light, chiming laugh and her cheeks darkened.

“It does. Do not fret Tali.” She laid a warm hand on her arm and gave her stern look, as one might look at a child. “But we have work to do.”

“Work? But I like just being here.” EDI shook her head, her hair waving and touching her face.

“No, Tali. We have to get you better and fix me. Do you remember what happened?” Tali grimaced and closed her eyes, sliding her hands up her arms.

“Yeah, I remember.” The effects of the drugs were wearing off and she felt a twinge of pain, but ignored it. There is no pain here, she reminded herself. No worries. But EDI was going to make her work. She didn’t want to; she just wanted to stay here, in the peaceful place with the human version of EDI.

“I took disconnected myself from the Normandy to be here with you, to help you get stronger, but until you are strong the Normandy cannot get to Earth, do you understand?” Tali gave her a startled look.

“Why would you do that? We need to get to Earth, EDI!”

“You would have died. Am I to let my squad mate, crew member, and friend die?” EDI asked, fixing her with a defiant look, her azure eyes sparking.

“I would willingly give my life; I did, to save anyone aboard this ship. You cannot make that decision.”

“I can. I was given the freedom when Jeff unshackled me and do not forget that you brought me back. A life for a life and I fully intend to repay you for what you did. Now do you want to get to Earth or not?” EDI crossed her tanned arms over her chest and gazed at her.

Tali wanted to argue. She wanted to scream at EDI for being so damn caring, but she didn’t. How could she? EDI saved her life and for that she was eternally grateful. She was angry, but humbled. So instead she sighed, popped the bones in her neck and rubbed her face. “Okay, I get it,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Explain why we can’t get to Earth while you’re disabled.” EDI gave her a bright smile, clearly proud of whatever she had done.

“I disabled the jump drives before I went offline. To my knowledge, the crew has yet to figure it out. I also encrypted the data. Not even Dr. T’Soni will be able to crack it.” She stared at EDI, her mouth partially gaping at the smug look on EDI’s face.

“Remind me never to piss you off. I can only imagine what you’d do.” Then she remembered what EDI had said earlier. “Wait, how am I supposed to fix you from here? I don’t even know what’s wro – er, well, why you’re sick,” she quickly corrected, seeing the dark look and narrowing of EDI’s eyes.

“You do,” she softened and raised a slender finger, lightly touching Tali’s temple. “It’s all in here. You just need to think Tali’Zorah. I can’t tell you,” she added, seeing the look on the Quarian woman’s face. “since I don’t know, but I know that you do. Once you know then you can fix the Geth and even Legion.”

“Legion? We could potentially get Legion back?” EDI’s lips turned up at the corners, her brows going upwards and she nodded.

Inside her mind was screaming a thousand different praises, but outwardly her face split into a grin. On Rannoch she had asked Shepard how strange it was for her to be mourning a Geth and now, with Shepard’s response, she felt ecstatic that she could get Legion back. He, she had admitted to herself a long time ago that she envisioned him as a Quarian male despite what she had said to Raan, was a good friend to her and had done almost as much, if not as much to help her people, as Shepard had.

She felt herself growing tired and light with EDI fading out of view and before she was completely out of it she heard herself promise EDI something.

* * *

 

** (Past - 9 weeks post Citadel party) **

_“Tali?”_

_She smiled up at the intercom, hearing the slight lilt to the voice that she had come to learn was an “English” accent. At first it was strange that she would call her over the intercom or even come to visit her, especially when her feelings for Shepard were so strong but Elizabeth had just smiled and said that she approved but now it was a welcome distraction._

_It had started after Shepard’s party in her apartment on the Citadel and now it felt as natural as breathing even if she did had to duck her head in embarrassment at the looks she received from Ken and Gabby._

_“Traynor,” she answered, biting back a smile and feeling more than a little devious._

_“I_ believe _I told you to call me Sam.” She could almost hear the frown in hear her voice and she laughed, picturing her dark skinned face turned sour. “Either way,” Traynor pushed on. “I heard that we might get some shore leave on the Citadel for a few hours and I was curious to see if you would be up to having dinner.”_

_She paused, her fingers over the console and considered her offer for a moment. It was a big step in their newly established relationship to which they hadn’t yet put a name. Were they friends? Lovers? Girlfriends? She wasn’t sure and wasn’t entirely positive that she wanted to put a name to whatever they had._

_“Sure, I’d like that. It’d be nice to get away from these diagnostics.”_

* * *

 

**(Present \- 3.5 weeks post attack - Batarian ship)**

 “EDI, I could really use your help,” she said, looking at the AI core that simulated the real one. It seemed like days since she had seen the real one and EDI had told her that it was three weeks and five days since she had been awake aboard the Normandy.

“I’m afraid that I cannot assist you.” She threw her head back in annoyance at the blonde woman with an exasperated sigh.

“You _can_ but you are refusing too. A little nudge would be helpful.” EDI ignored her as she expected and she continued to stare at the core, her mind coming to a blank abyss of useless information. Deep down she felt it gnawing at her, goading her, but she couldn’t reach it.

EDI claimed that she didn’t know and despite her frustration she was inclined to believe her. If she did know then why wouldn’t she just fix herself? Why go through all of this trouble? She sat back on her feet and gazed at the wires spilling from the wall like noodles, rubbing a hand over her face and through her hair, twisting it and tossing it over her shoulder.

There was nothing, no visible sign of damage. No charred ends, no split cables in need of splicing. There was just a big ole pile of nothing. If she could get her hands on a Reaper then maybe she could get some answers.

“EDI, can you hack into Liara’s terminal and get all the information on the Reapers that she has? Post-war I mean,” she asked, looking up at the tall human form. Suddenly EDI looked nervous, her eyes shifting down and to the left, her brow wrinkling.

“I do not suggest that we do that.”

“Why not?”

“I am the only thing keeping you alive, Tali. Without me integrated, fully, into your suit and without you inside my network I am uncertain if you’ll survive. Your body is stronger, but not strong enough to be without me and until you are, you’re comatose.”

Tali dropped her eyes to the floor and stared. She remembered that EDI had told her that she was helping her get stronger but the impact of those words weren’t felt until just now.

“It’s that bad?” she whispered, running a trembling hand over her top lip, wiping away the sweat that was beading there. The silence was all the confirmation that she needed.

She sat there for a moment, filtering through all of the emotions and fighting a losing battle with the painkillers that were starting to blur her vision. Damn Chakwas and Liara, she thought as she settled on an emotion.

She would be damned if she would die in a coma without having fixed EDI and the Geth. Her people needed her, Traynor needed her and most importantly she didn’t want to die, not like this; it was just insulting. If she was going to die she wanted it to be fighting at Shepard and Garrus’ sides. That was how she was supposed to die, not from a damn infection because of a stupid suit.

She grabbed a screwdriver and jammed it into a screw that was holding the entire AI core together and looked at EDI, shaking her head to try and rid it of the dizzy feeling. “I’m going to make this right.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

** (Past – 10 weeks post Citadel party) **

_Since the sushi place was still under construction due to Shepard’s clone, Traynor had suggested a nice dextro-levo restaurant near the Presidium. She hadn’t even known about it until Traynor had bounded into engineering and excitedly showed her pictures that she had pulled up on her omni-tool of the restaurant as well as a copy of the menu stating, “And we can share this appetizer! It’s friendly for both of our systems! Isn’t that wonderful?”_

_In person it was much nicer than the pictures had portrayed. It was dimly lit, with old-fashioned wrought iron candelabras on the walls complete with dark red, intricately designed candles. The waiters wore suits and the floor was made of a light marble that clicked every time she took a step. As she walked up to the wooden podium, the Maitre-D greeted her with a smile gracing his handsome human face._

_“Good evening,” he greeted his voice deep, rich and warm.  “Are you meeting someone or are you here to dine alone in one of our private areas?”_

_“I’m meeting someone.” He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head and smiled._

_“Name?”_

_“Tali’Zorah.” He laughed and shook his head._

_“No, not yours. The one you’re meeting.”_

_“Oh, um, Samantha Traynor.” He looked down at the display and nodded, motioning her to follow him._

_“Is this a first date? You seem nervous.” She laughed and nodded, wringing her hands together._

_“You could say that.”_

_“Ah. Don’t worry  I will make sure that any friends of Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian are more than taken care of. You are, of course, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy, correct?” She gave him a startled look and he laughed again. “Shepard and Garrus visit here often whenever they get the chance and she speaks very highly of you and who could forget the famous Quarian who helped bring down Saren and the Geth?”_

_She felt her cheeks heat up and was thankful for her mask. “Oh, well. Thank you.”_

_“It’s an honor to serve anyone who is aboard the Normandy. Ah, here we are. Enjoy your night,” he said, winking at her as she slid into the booth in front of Traynor and walked off, pausing to speak to the waiter who was headed their direction. Based on the look of the waiter he was just told that he was waiting on Commander Shepard’s crew and friends._

_“So, what do you think?” Traynor gave her a nervous smile, her hand flitting up to her hair._

_“It’s really nice,” she said, reaching for the drink menu, her eyes scanning and trying to find something familiar. She settled on a tropical Turian beverage, hoping it was better than the brandy that Garrus tried to hide from her, but she was good at find alcohol she had learned, much to Garrus’ dismay._

_“It’s not too much is it? If it is then we can go somewhere else, it’s no big deal. I’m sure there are other dextro-levo friendly places around.” Tali smiled and shook her head, feeling some of her nervousness melt away._

_“Sam, its fine. I really like it.” The waiter came up to them, fidgeting with his omni-tool and blushed when he looked at Tali._

_“What’ll you be having tonight? Would you like to start with an appetizer? I strongly suggest the asari dish, Spiratchio, as it is both non-toxic to dextro and levo based people. If you’re into alcoholic beverages I have gotten awesome feedback on the Turian drink, Chiraska; it is a blend of fruits native to Palaven with a mix of Turian Vodka, Gin and Rum,” he said, nervously looking at Tali and shifting his weight. Traynor’s lips pulled up at the corners and Tali ignored her, nodding her head at the young human male._

_“That sounds great. We’ll take that and I definitely want to try that drink.” He gave a small smile and turned to Traynor who didn’t even bother to look at the menu._

_“I’ll have a Tasty Tankard with double Irish Cream and whipped cream on top, thank you.” He punched the order into his omni-tool and nodded, saying he’d have their drinks in just a few moments. “I think he likes you,” she said, hiding her smile behind her glass of water. Tali rolled her eyes, something she had learned from Shepard. “Anyway, I’m really glad that you agreed to have this date with me.” She reached out a small, dark hand and squeezed Tali’s._

_“Me too.”_

_After that they had fallen into easy conversation, swapping stories about their childhoods and just enjoying the company of one another while eating. Once they were done they decided to talk a quiet walk around the Presidium before heading back to the Normandy._

_As they walked, stopped to admire the large Krogan monument Traynor slid her arm around Tali’s waist and leaned her head against her shoulder. Tali reciprocated the act, her heart beating faster and looked down to find Traynor looking up at her, her eyes curious with a smile playing at the edges of her lips._

_“What?” Traynor shook her head and bit her lower lip, bringing up her other hand to touch Tali’s hood._

_“I just wonder what you’re skin looks like and how your hair feels, that’s all.” For a minute Tali was quiet, wondering what she should say._

_“Once we get back onto the Normandy I could show you.” Briefly she wondered if she should tell her about the night she spent with Garrus and Shepard, but decided that since it was before her relationship with the human woman at her side she would ignore it for now. Traynor pulled back, worry lining her face._

_“Wouldn’t you get sick though?”_

_“Not if it’s for just a minute, I’ll be okay.” Traynor seemed satisfied by that and nodded, happily resting her head against her shoulder again._

_“Then I’d really like that.”_

_Tali smiled and grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together and tugged her towards the rapid transit, brushing away the nervous butterflies that were dancing in her stomach. This was definitely the best date, ever._

* * *

 

** (Present – Real Normandy; 5 weeks post attack – Batarian ship) **

“How is she?”

“Still comatose but Chakwas and Liara say that her vitals are strong and her body is fighting the infection. I can even see the visible healing of her injuries. She’s going to be fine, Shepard,” Garrus said, leaning back against his bed and shifting the omni-tool so he could see Eliza better.

In the five weeks that Tali had been out of commission the Alliance as well as the Hierarchy and all volunteers had been able to get the majority of coms working across the major home planets and a few colonies. Hackett had said that they were close to getting a few of the Mass Relays working.

“How’re you, Garrus? I’ve been worried sick and I hate being stuck here while you are light years away, in the middle of space with no way to get home.” His mandibles twitched and he sighed, rolling his healing arm.

“I don’t think I’ll be very useful in a firefight anymore,” he looked away, clenching his mandibles close to his jaw.

“You’re Primarch now, I don’t think you’d have been doing much fighting anyway,” she said, her voice softening, trying to light the mood. He glanced at her and smiled.

“Perhaps, but it doesn’t make it any better. I’ve been fighting for Spirits only know how long. It’s the only thing I know how to do and not being able to have your six anymore is just-I don’t like it.” She smiled at him and flashed him her new, shiny rank before bringing the omni-tool back up to her face.

“Hey! Don’t forget that I’m an Admiral now and my job consists of zero firefights so I don’t need anyone at my six, unless we’re in the bedroom and I’m assuming that you’re okay in that respect?” He laughed and shook his head. “Do you know how long it will take Liara to crack EDI’s encrypted data on the jump drives?”

“No. Liara’s been pounding away at it for weeks and hasn’t even made a chip in the encryption so we’re stuck here until EDI comes out of hiding.” Shepard frowned, her brows drawing down over her eyes and turned at Wrex’s voice.

“Okay well keep me updated. I need to go. Duty calls,” she sighed and the omni-tool shifted at her movements.

“Will do. And Shepard?”

“Yeah?

“I love you.” She smiled and blushed.

“I love you too Garrus.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

** (Present – 10 weeks post attack – Batarian ship) **

“EDI?” Tali said, shifting her body as she fiddled with the wires.

“Yes?”

“I know what’s wrong.” She pulled herself out of the AI core and looked at EDI. The problem was complicated yet simple but she could do it. After weeks of running diagnostic after diagnostic, wracking her brain for any answers and getting so frustrated that she had just about given up, she knew, without a doubt what was wrong and was angry at herself for not figuring it out sooner. “I have to warn you that it will be unpleasant, but once you’re back you’ll be one hundred percent EDI.”

“How unpleasant?” EDI’s face crinkled in worry.

“I don’t know, but you have to trust me.  Do you trust me?” EDI nodded and Tali took a deep breath before sliding into the AI core again.

This was it. It was now or never, she thought and went through the process, pulling here and there, shifting objects and wires then suddenly  EDI was gone and she was sitting up in the Med-Bay, gasping and looking around in confusion as Garrus, Liara, Traynor and Chakwas gathered around her bed speaking all at once.

She waved her hands, coughing. “EDI,” she croaked from not having used her actual voice in so long.

The lights of the ship blinked off and on, the consoles flickered and the sound of the engines was gone. The only thing left was the sound of everyone’s ragged breathing until the lights came back on and they felt the familiar hum of the engines of the Normandy.

“I’m here, Tali.”

The people in the room looked up around as EDI’s platform spoke and back to Tali, not understanding what was going on.

“How are you feeling?”

“I am perfect.” Tali gave a weak smile. “Shall I jump us?” EDI’s platform smiled at her.

“How many will it take?”

“With me at one hundred percent and my Reaper upgrades, just one.”

“Do it. Take us to Earth EDI.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry it took so long for this update to happen but I'll admit, I struggled with this chapter and so many times I got angry and just closed the damn thing saying that I was finished with this project. However, I finally sat down, took a deep breath and then the words just started pouring. So I HOPE that ya'll enjoyed it. :-) 
> 
> Also, I wanted to say that yes, I based EDI's human form off of [Tricia Helfer](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1065454/?ref_=sr_1) who does EDI's voice, just in case there were any questions about who it was. Not to mention she is super hot, especially in BSG... that red dress... omg. 
> 
> I have to thank BlackStarAura, CReed, Anonymous, GarrusLover, omega12596, Anonismyname, Heart (Emirae), Verdandi73, KabiViolet, Waenhir and jeanette for commenting! You guys are AWESOME and keep me writing, especially with the feedback. I <3 all of you! 
> 
> Also, I want to thank ULT1M4T3, BlackStarAura, KabiViolet, Heart (Emirae), corvie, bluesnowdrop, and SilverWolfQueen for bookmarking; ya'll are fantastique! Merci beacoup! :-) 
> 
> And to omega12596, Ravennecessary, Mordinette, worstcommander, Heart (Emirae), KabiViolet, Verdandi73, ULT1M4T3 and BlackStarAura and the 7 (unknown) others that left me kudos... fuck yeah, ya'll are the SHIT! <3 
> 
> Seriously, ya'll are all AWESOME and I thank you so much. If it wasn't with your support (all of you) I probably would _not_ have continued this and just tucked my tail and went into hiding, so thank you. :-) 
> 
> Now I _want_ (do I use italics too much? oh well!) to suggest that you go and check out the following authors because their work is **BEYOND** amazing... 
> 
> [omega12596](http://archiveofourown.org/users/omega12596/works)’s DA stories will make you want to play the games and not to mention that her ME fic is amazingly complicated, sweet and sexually delicious. 
> 
> [KabiViolet](http://archiveofourown.org/users/KabiViolet/works) is a fantastic writer! I love EVERYTHING she has published. Her Elizabeth Shepard series is one to be applauded as it is more than just what one hopes for, but it is just, ah. There are no words for it. :-)
> 
> [Mordinette](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordinette/works)’s works are just unbearably sweet. I love all of them and my favorite (in case you care to know) is Serendipity. I highly suggest you check it out. :-) 
> 
> [Heart (Emirae)](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Emirae/works) is awesome. I was thrilled when they filled my KinkMeme prompt. You need to check out their work! :-)


	15. ETA: Five Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few moments are shared between couples before hitting Earth.

He sat on the bed; his legs crossed at his ankles with his arms behind his head and watched her work, typing away at her terminal with the occasional mutter beneath her breath and a tilt of her head to work the kinks out of her neck.

He found it oddly relaxing to just watch her in silence and not to mention how aesthetically pleasing it was either. If she caught him her cheeks would flush, her eyes would flutter in embarrassment but she would smile and bite her lower lip which he had learned was a gesture she only did for him.

Upon his joining the Normandy he hadn’t thought very highly of the other races that graced the ship. During his cycle they were primitives; the humans lived in caves and wandered restlessly, searching for answers being the ever curious species they were, the Turians were just beginning to have a spoken language, the Salarians had yet to evolve to walk on two legs, and the Quarians had not even learned how to light fires, but had mastered the art of depicting their lives on stone.

 It was interesting, however, that his race had taken such a liking to the Asari. At the time he had chalked it up to the fact that it was because they were an all female species, but now that he had time to learn, understand, them he knew it was for different reasons. They were a patient people; they never rushed headlong into something without serious thought but they did live for over a thousand years so for them time meant something else entirely.

His people had tried to uplift them and bring them forward, but the Reapers put a halt to that. It seemed, however, that some of what his people had done carried over into this cycle such as their mastery of biotics and logical thought. He remembered that even with all the influence they had in the Asari lives they had struggled with writing and he, now, felt ashamed of his words to Liara almost a year ago.

On Earth he had told Shepard that he would return to Eden Prime and join his people, but Liara had changed that. When Joker asked him if he wanted to stay the look on her face was enough for him to shake his head and not to mention he had grown, despite his best attempts, to care for Normandy and her crew; even that damned AI which he would never openly admit to anyone.

“You’re staring.” Her voice was quiet and if it wasn’t for his training he probably wouldn’t have heard her. His lips turned up in a small smile, his eyes narrowing slightly.

“And you said you’d only be a few minutes,” he retorted, his deep flanging voice carried softly across the room. Her cheeks deepened in color, a dark blue, and instantly he felt aroused by the sight, knowing that the rest of her turned that shade when they were alone in her bed, pressed together and sharing themselves with one another in the most intimate and trusting ways.

“ETA to Earth is 2 hours. Fucking finally,” Joker’s voice crackled over the intercom, startling both of them. She glanced at Javik from the corner of her eye.

“It seems we have a little while.”

“So it seems.” He let his eyes travel over her body slowly, taking in every detail of her form. She turned away from the console and made her way to the bed, but stopped at the foot to give him a flirtatious smile. “You’re taking too long,” he growled and leaned forward to grab her arms and pulled her on top of him, smothering her laughter with a deep kiss.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Upon Traynor’s entrance into the Med-Bay Garrus excused himself, albeit limping and leaning slightly towards the left, and Tali rolled her eyes, trying to suppress an amused smile. Over the last few days he had questioned, endlessly, her about her relationship with Sam. It had been quite annoying, but considering they were both “confined” to the Med-Bay they had not much else to discuss since Chakwas had given her express orders (and for being the kind, patient woman that she was she sure could make you cower under intense glares) they were to let the rest of the crew, mostly Liara, handle their business with their people.

Sam tossed a concerned glance at Garrus’ back as the door shut behind him. “I didn’t intend to make him feel as though he had to leave,” she said apologetically, her eyes darting over Tali’s form as if checking for new injuries or any sign of problems in regards to her health, as she perched herself on the edge of Tali’s bed.

“Don’t worry about that bosh’tet; he just acts like, well, Garrus,” she said laughing, interlacing her three-fingered hand with Sam’s five-fingered one and bringing her knuckles to her mouth to press a light kiss against them. With EDI’s help, along with Chakwas and Liara, she was safe to go without her mask and enviro-suit, a debt that she could _never_ repay them but she would try dammit.

She felt Sam’s hand on her cheek and looked at her, feeling her heart swell and her stomach dance with the intense look that graced the dark human woman’s features. Her eyes fluttered shut when Sam slid her fingers through her ebony hair, stroking it lovingly. “I love you, Tali,” the English accent laden voice said. Her eyes opened and she stared at her, her eyes going wide. “Shit. I-I just blurted that out, I didn’t mean – well, I mean it, obviously, but I-I just mean that I didn’t want to say it without, fuck. This is not how I imagined this going. At all.”

She raised a light skinned hand towards Sam’s face, forcing her to look at her, a small smile playing at the corner of her lips. “I play for keeps.”

Sam groaned and buried her face in the blankets on her abdomen. “She told you about that, did she? God, I feel like a fool. You must think horribly of me.”

_You should tell her._

No, that’s private. 

_Come on, you silly Quarian. You know about her proposition._

Different circumstances require different actions. And I had sex with Shepard, she didn’t. 

_All the more reason to tell her._

Go away.

_No._

Yes. 

_Make me._

You really don’t want me too, bosh’tet. 

_Going, going. Don’t blow **OUR**_ brains _out on account of your –_

“Not at all,” she reassured her, trying to convey her meaning through her silver, luminescent eyes while ignoring the stupid miniature figure of herself sitting on her shoulder. It would be hypocritical of her to be upset that she had tried to seduce Shepard when she, herself, had physical contact. “I understand. But Sam,” she nudged her, asking, silently, for her to look at her. When Sam turned her head enough for her to see the dark chocolate brown she smiled. “I love you too.”

The look on the human woman’s face made her body burn with heat, her heart pound against her chest and her breath catch. The look that Sam was directing at her was something she had only observed from afar when Garrus or Eliza looked at each other. She could never compete with that; what they shared was true love and only a dummy would stand in their way and was something she had learned the difficult way, but was truly happy for them.

Sam leaned forward and pressed her lips against her light purple ones softly, a smile playing at the edges of her mouth. “Good, I would be upset if come to find out you had other options.” Tali laughed a soft chiming sound without the warbled effect of her helmet.

“ETA to Earth is one hour people. Get your party hats out,” Joker’s voice crackled over the intercom.

“Thank the ancestors,” Tali murmured, playing with the ends of Sam’s short dark hair.

“It’s been a long time waiting. I can’t wait to see the look on her face.” She gave her human a confused look and Sam broke out into a face splitting grin. “We decided not to tell her. Garrus wants to surprise her when she least expects it. Her mother and Hackett will also be among the shore party.”

“Keelah, she is going to die from happiness.”

It would definitely be worth it to see the look of shock, happiness and sheer unadulterated joy on Shepard’s face.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“30 minutes,” Joker mumbled to himself, fidgeting in his seat from the barely contained excitement. It had been too long since he had seen Shepard and he wanted, no, _needed_ her aboard the Normandy. It wasn’t the same without her and he felt out of sorts without her coming to bullshit with him. Garrus had tried to fill the void and though he would never admit it he was thankful for that.

He might not have liked Garrus four years ago, but the Turian with the stick up his ass had finally won over his affection and he would, if need be, die for him which isn’t something Jeff took lightly. The only other’s he would die for were Shepard, Tali, Liara and Wrex. Oh and definitely Chakwas, she was a badass. EDI was a given, but someone would be hard pressed to take EDI considering she was installed aboard the Normandy and after the stunt with the clone their security had tightened. Whenever they had shore leave Shepard would make sure that guards were posted and rotated out.

When he finally saw Shepard he wanted  to give her a bone-crushing hug then yell at her for almost killing herself just to save the galaxy, but he would refrain from the yelling. Bone-crushing he could handle especially with Chakwas being nearby.

“I am looking forward to seeing Shepard again,” EDI said, flipping through the console settings with a smile.

“You and me both, babe.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kaidan sat in his room, looking over a message from the Council when Cortez entered. He closed his omni-tool and smiled at the darker skinned man.

“I guess you heard Joker’s last announcement.”

“I did,” he said as Steve threw himself down on the couch next to him unceremoniously and sighed, running a hand over his face before scratching at his goatee.

“Jesus. It feels like forever since I last saw her talking to Sophie, the little mech dog, down in the shuttle bay. She loves that damn dog.”

“She loves dogs. She told me once that she wants to have a real one on the Normandy. That would be a sight, wouldn’t it?” Steve laughed, leaning his back against the couch.

“Only Shepard would be able to get away with it. It’d be nice though, having a warm, furry creature around that you can play with, love on and just talk to when you need to. Maybe a Lab or a Golden.”

“Nah, she needs a Labrador/Shepard mix. I had one once, they’re amazing animals. Husky/Chessy works too, but they are a pain in the ass as puppies. They grow up to be big babies once their older.”

For a few moments they sat in silence imagining Shepard with a little puppy on the Normandy, watching her laugh when it licked her face or holding it in her arms and stroking its head, crooning to it when it wanted her attention.

Kaidan leaned his body against Cortez who snaked his arm around the other man’s shoulders, squeezing lightly.

“It’ll be great to be back on Earth,” Steve said, tilting Kaidan’s face up to his and placing a kiss on his lips.

“That it will,” he conceded before looking up at the ceiling, hearing Joker’s excited voice.

“ETA is five fucking minutes until we land. Gonna be one helluva party, people!”

Kaidan and Steve smiled at each other.

On that they could agree. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! This definitely took some time with a lot of contemplation of how I wanted it go, but I am happy with it. I decided to stick with "normal" Canon with this, sort of. In the games Shepard always has her LI in her quarters to share a moment before the storm and I felt it was fitting that I did it here. 
> 
> As many of you may have noticed I have updated how many chapters this will have and alas, it will be ending next chapter. Do not be sad though, it had been a good long run and I am thrilled that so many have enjoyed it. :-)


	16. This Was Their Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Normandy has landed and it is time, long past due, for Shepard and Garrus to have a reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must thank flyingphoenix51, Ninargh, omega12596, Ravennecessary, Mordinette, worstcommander, Heart (Emirae), KabiViolet, Verdandi73, ULT1M4T3 and BlackStarAura as well as 12 guests left kudos on this work. Ya'll have been amazing and I can't express my gratitude. 
> 
> I have to give a shout out to BlackStarAura, CReed, Anonymous, GarrusLover, omega12596, Anonismyname, Heart (Emirae), Verdandi73, KabiViolet, Waenhir and jeanette for commenting. Without your feedback I am not sure I would have continued this. :-) So many <3's to all of you!

Exile  
It takes your mind again  
Exile  
It takes your mind again  
You've got suckers' luck  
Have you given up?  
  
Does it feel like a trial?  
Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?  
  
Exile  
It takes your mind again  
Exile  
It takes your mind again  
Oh, you meant so much  
Have you given up?  
  
Does it feel like a trial?  
Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?  
Does it feel like a trial?  
Now you're thinking too fast   
You're like marbles on glass  
  
Vilify  
Don't even try  
Vilify  
Don't even try  
  
You've got suckers' luck  
Have you given up?  
Does it feel like a trial?  
Does it trouble your mind the way you trouble mine?  
Does it feel like a trial?  
Did you fall for the same empty answers again?  
  
Vilify  
Don't even try  
Vilify  
Don't even try  
Vilify...

 

Joker glanced over his shoulder at the tall shadow and smiled inwardly. Garrus was dressed in his best from fringe to toe and had even gone without his visor. Joker had to admit that he looked pretty damn snazzy for a Turian.

All seven foot plus of him stood near the airlock, casually leaning against the door jamb with his arms crossed in over his chest and one foot cross over the other toeing the ground. His top was a rich cream colored tunic with the same blue coloring as his markings with quarter sleeves and he paired it with ebony trousers and what one could only surmise as Turian dress shoes. His mandibles fluttered every now and then against his jaw, his eyes darting around the windshield of the Normandy.

Tali followed behind him, leaning on Samantha for light support and Joker had to hide his look of surprise. He’d always thought that Tali was attractive even if he couldn’t see her face but damn. Sam or one of the other girls on the ship must have done her hair because he didn’t think there was a way for her three fingered hand to be able to French braid.

She had foregone her suit and instead was wearing a tight fitting dark purple top that showed her shoulders and cinched at the waist. Her bottom half was covered in loose fitting black flowing pants and she too had a Quarian equivalent dress shoes.

“How do I look?” Tali whispered to Sam who cocked an eyebrow at her and gave her what could only be classified as a lascivious smile to which Tali blushed profusely and shook her head. “Remind me to buy Liara something stupidly expensive.”

Of course; only Liara could have gotten those specially made and tailored items for the aliens on board the Normandy and Joker wondered what she and Javik would be wearing to greet Shepard after almost thirty weeks of not seeing her. He didn’t have to wonder long however as EDI, Liara and Javik made their way to the others.

Liara had ditched her Shadow Broker outfit for a dark blue dress that flared at the hips and flowed like wisps around her ankles. The top was strapless and Joker hoped that she didn’t cough because then all of Liara would be exposed. He caught Javik’s glare and immediately smiled at him and winked. It was hard to take him seriously when he was dressed in a similar outfit to what Garrus was wearing. It was very unJavik-ey.

Liara apparently had even fixed EDI up with an outfit too he noticed when she sat next to him in her seat, ignoring the look of appraisal from him but smiling nonetheless, pleased that he liked her new clothes.

“How soon Joker?” Garrus rumbled.

“As soon as we’re in the port we’ll be good to go. She has no idea?”

“None. I told her we would be here in a week.”

“Nice. The look on her face will be priceless. Does anyone else know?”

“Everyone but Shepard. Any word from Hackett and her mother?” Liara chimed in, looking out the window.

“Here and waiting. They were able to use a Relay, bastards.” They chuckled and shifted, eager to get off the Normandy and step foot on Earth to surprise Elizabeth. “Bring us in EDI.”

The Normandy slowed before coming to a halt and when they heard the familiar sound of the docking port hitting the outside, the smiled and turned to wait for the airlock to open.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Admiral Hackett,” Garrus greeted the older man, sticking his hand out in the Human gesture.

“Primarch Vakarian.” He took his hand firmly and shook it in an up-down motion quickly before letting his hand drop to his side. Garrus looked at the woman to the side of the Human male and instantly recognized her features.

“Admiral Shepard,” he said and stuck his hand out.

“Garrus Vakarian, it is a such a pleasure to finally meet you, sweetie,” she said and ignored his hand but instead leaned up to give him a warm hug. “I’ve heard so much about you from Eliza.” For a moment he wasn’t sure what to do, but hugged her back feeling a bit shocked by the warm welcome. She pulled back and took his hands in hers. “And please, dear, call me Hannah.”

“She’s told me a lot about you too.” She quirked a brow at him that strongly reminded him of the woman he loved and her had to suppress a smile.

“All good I hope?”

“Of course,” he laughed and turned towards the others behind him. “Have you met the rest of the crew?” She shook her head and smiled at the them warmly.

After all the introductions were over she looped her arm through Hackett’s who gave her a loving smile then looked back at the crew of the Normandy.

“How about we go surprise her? It’s been years since I’ve seen her and I’m dying to see my daughter.”

As they made their way towards the building Shepard was staying in Hannah turned towards him with a frown on her face.

“This may sound funny and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, sweetie, but I think we should save the best for last.” Garrus looked down at her, his mandibles fluttering in confusion and she laughed at the look on his face, placing a hand his arm. “She’s going to be looking for you the whole time, more than everyone else because she loves you.”

“Great idea!” Tali exclaimed, visibly bouncing on the balls of her feet, her pants jiggling in time with her movements.

“I totally want to make Shepard think that you’re not here, you know as kind of payback for making us think that she was dead. Just sayin’,” Joker piped up, smiling like a dumbass.

Part of him wanted to say no but the other half of him wanted to be completely alone with her so he could hold her, kiss her and caress her skin. That part one out and nodded reluctantly. “Okay, sounds good I guess,” he scratched his head. Hannah patted his arm and with a smile she was tugged away by Hackett who was just as eager to see Eliza followed by the rest of the Normandy crew with Garrus trailing behind them, planning out what he was going to say to her.

It had been almost seven months since he had held her in his arms, since he had ran his hands through her hair, and trailed his mouth over her throat. Seven months since he had watched her walk in front of him, since he had heard her voice in person, since he had eaten any meal with her.

He was nervous, he was overjoyed. He was unsure, he was doubtless.

He patted his pants pocket, feeling for the velvet black box that held a silver ring with two diamonds flanking the blue sapphire in the middle to match his markings. With all of his research he had stumbled upon the Human tradition of giving a ring to the woman to mark her as his and though he had already asked her to be a “one Turian kind of woman” he wanted to make it official by both his culture and hers. She wasn’t the most feminine woman he knew but Tali had said that she would love it.

On their last shore leave at the Citadel he had asked Tali if she would go with him since he needed a female’s opinion and when he had seen the ring he knew it was what he wanted. Tali had agreed, commenting on how it matched him so he had bought it, paying a hefty one thousand credits for it, but he would have spent all of his money if he had too.

He heard Jack say, “Fucking finally. I suck at this.”

“What?” Shepard said and he closed his eyes, letting her throaty voice wash over him.

“Nothin’. You’ll see in a minute. I gotta go. Don’t go anywhere or I’ll hit you a shockwave.” The door opened with Shepard’s laugh drifting out and the crew, including Hannah and Hackett, hurriedly moved to the side hoping to avoid Shepard seeing them, shushing each other. Jack strode out then smiled at them, something that they were all getting used to. “Jesus fucking Christ, I thought I’d have to chit-chat with her all damn day. Good to see you guys all in one fucking piece.”

To everyone’s surprise the first person she hugged (hugs – from Jack?) was Tali commenting on how “fucking hot” she was. Tali rolled her eyes and smiled at her. Jack turned to EDI and smirked at her. “Like the sexbot look.” Joker glared at her and she laughed, waving him off before jerking him (albeit lightly) to her in a soft hug. “Your snarky attitude is the shit, you little crippled fucker.” Joker snorted and pulled away with an embarrassed look on his face. “Vakarian! Damn have I missed your dry humor, buddy.” Garrus found himself pulled down into a tight hug, with her hand patting his back and he reciprocated the action, shaking his head. She noticed the odd looks and shrugged after she pulled away. “Blame the bubbly butt cheerleader.”

“I heard that, Jack.” Miranda walked around the corner followed closely by Wrex, Grunt, Samara, Kasumi, Zaeed and Jacob.

“Garrus!” Wrex, Grunt and Zaeed cried while Kasumi darted with Samara following at Tali smothering her in tight hug and conversing in hushed tones with her and Samantha over her appearance and hair. Jacob greeted Kaidan, Steve and Vega while Miranda and Jack crowded around EDI, Joker, Liara and Javik. The Krogan’s punched him in the shoulder and he laughed.

“Took your sweet time, Turian.”

“Didn’t think you’d ever get here.”

“I had faith, sort of,” Zaeed said greeting him with what Shepard called the “bro-hug”.

After about fifteen minutes of well deserved reunions amongst the different crews, Hannah and Hackett palmed the door and entered. Each time the crew entered the room Shepard practically squealed. Finally it was Garrus’ turn to enter and he turned to towards the door with an encouraging smile from Tali.

He took a deep breath and pressed his fist against the door.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When he entered she was turned towards the window, her back towards him. He let the door shut behind him and quietly leaned against the wall, drinking in the sight of her standing merely five feet away from him. It would only take him a few strides to reach her, turn her around and crush him to him, but it wasn’t time yet.

It seemed that whatever Wrex had been feeding her had helped. She looked healthy and normal, not at all how she had looked when he had seen her for the first time after the battle on Earth through the QEC. Her hips flared out and her waist was still small but he could see the weight she had gained.

Her hair was longer, he noticed. It came to almost her shoulder blades in golden red waves and he longed to touch it, but he wanted to just _look_ at her.

At least when she had turned herself in to the Alliance for destroying an entire Batarian system he had an inkling that he would see her again but when she shoved him and Tali aboard the Normandy telling him that she would always love him before taking off for the beam and Harbinger he didn’t know, he had no idea if he would see her again alive, whole and in front of him, warm and breathing.

She sighed and tilted her head, her shoulders slumping; now it was time. “What’re you thinking about?” he asked, his voice rumbling through the room. He knew what she was thinking, but he wanted her to look at him, wanted to hear her voice.

It was as if time stopped and they were in slow motion when she turned, first her head, then torso then her hips followed by her legs and she sprinted at him. He caught her, his arms curling around her back, his face burying in her hair, breathing in the scent and he couldn’t control his sub-vocals as they cried in joy.

He pulled back to cup her face, thumbing away the happy tears that streamed down her face and swallowed at the hard lump in his throat. Most didn’t think that Turians could cry, but they were wrong. She wiped his own tears away, tilting her head up and he captured her mouth, moist and pliant beneath his own barely pliable, leather like ones.

She opened her mouth under his, her soft, rose like tongue sliding into his mouth and he knew that this was what heaven was like. Her cool slim arms slipped around his neck and she pressed herself against him, molding her soft Human body against his hard Turian one.

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, her eyes looking over his face while her fingers traced his blue markings. “I saw everyone else, but when I didn’t see you I--”

“That was your mother’s idea,” he amended quickly.  She laughed and kissed him again, squeezing him tightly.

“Remind me to kill her later, but right now I need to feel you against me, to know that is real and not just a dream.” He tipped her head back and sucked on her pulse point, growling at the sigh that escaped her parted lips.

He walked them backwards towards her bed, tugging her shirt out of her pants and running his hands over her smooth abdomen, relishing in the softness of her, the warmth of her skin against his hands. He pulled at the hem and she lifted her arms, letting him pull it over her head and throw it to the side, his mouth descending to the tops of her breasts pressing heady kisses against the soft swells of flesh.

His fingers jerked at the button on her pants and he pushed them down over her hips, before stepping back and memorizing her every curve, mole and freckle. He didn’t have long since her hands reached out and undid the fastenings on his tunic, pushing it over his shoulders; her hands caressing every inch of plates and flesh that she revealed and her mouth kissing every part her hands hadn’t touched.

“Eliza,” he moaned, his deep voice reverberating off the walls. Her nimble fingers played at the top of trousers, dipping in and out quickly. He unclasped her bra, pulling it off her shoulders and down her arms his eyes feasting on her breasts taking in the light pink of her areoles and the hardened peaks of her nipples.

He dipped his head down and ran his tongue over the textured nipples, gripping her hips when she moaned. “Garrus I need-”

He pushed her back onto the bed and stripped himself out of his clothing as she peeled her panties off and then he was atop of her, his mouth at her neck running his tongue over the scar he left while her hands scrambled to find purchase on his shoulders, her hips tilting up to meet his erection.

He slid into her and buried his face in the crook of her neck, groaning as he placed her legs on his hips. Her eyes fluttered shut, her breath coming out in a fast exhale and her body clench around him. When she was ready he pulled out until the tip of him was inside of her before thrusting back inside, sheathing himself with her wet warmth.

He lifted away from her and her legs slid down with her feet planted on the bed, her hands squeezing and kneading her breasts as his finger found her clit, rubbing around it in circles before softly applying pressure to the swollen bud of flesh with a filed talon.

Unable to contain himself he pulled out of her, much to her dismay if her frustrated cried were any indication, and kissed his way down her body, swirling his tongue inside her naval breathing in her natural and arousal scent.

He slid a finger inside of her to coat him in her juices before running the appendage over her folds, stroking downwards and dipping into her before pressing against her clit. He nipped at her thigh, encouraged by her breathless sighs and licked at the abused flesh, kissing his way up her thigh to the junction that connected her hip to thigh.

Her hips lifted in a silent plea and he obliged, running his tongue along her lips and pulled them apart to give special attention to the engorged, glistening bud nestled at the top of her labia. He flattened his tongue, laving at the pink bud, closing his eyes when her hips lifted against his face, silently begging for release.

It had been so long since he tasted her, felt her pussy around his finger as his rough, blue tongue danced across her clit and sucked on her lips, pulling them into his mouth.

When her body went rigid, her cunt clenched around his fingers and he lapped up every drop of her, trying, desperately, to memorize the taste of her against his tongue and the spasmodic tightening of her pussy around his finger.

He needed to feel her orgasm around him and he pulled away, letting her hands coax him up her body until he slid inside of her, tossing his head back.

Feeling her orgasmic tremors around his cock was almost enough to send him over the edge, but he wanted to feel her come around him, milking his cock to completion.

He thrust in and out of her, pulling her left leg around his hip while pushing her other leg up towards her chest, snapping his hips back before slamming them against her, getting lost in her breathy moans and his name tumbling from her Human lips like it was life line to pull her away from the dangers of the open sea.

“I love you,” she whispered against his neck before her mouth found his mandible, her wet mouth sliding over the scarred one and sucking diligently. His movements stuttered for a moment at her proclamation before he found his rhythm again, breathlessly uttering the same words to her before sinking his teeth into her neck.

She cried out in a mix of pain and pleasure as her orgasm ripped through her, her body clenching around him as she moaned his name pushing him into oblivion before her blunt white teeth sunk into his hard flesh, bringing him to the highest depths of ecstasy.

The heat of their combined orgasm, twining with one another through time and space, sent shocks like a supernova exploding through their bodies, radiating into one another before they finally fell and settled in the burning afterglow of their love making.

After he caught his breath he cupped her face in his large palm and placed a soft kiss on her lips, both of her cheeks, her lids and back to her lips.

“I love you more than anything, Eliza.” She smiled up at him, her lids heavy with their post-orgasmic love making.

“I know you do,” she whispered, her hand gliding over his face. He pulled away and groped for his pants. She laughed at him, asking him what he was doing but he just smiled, as he found what he was looking for.

He pulled the black velvet box out from his pocket, curling his fingers around it and flopping back onto the bed near her side watching as she turned to him, throwing a curious look at his fisted hand before looking back at him.

“I,” he cleared his throat, propping himself up on his elbow. “I wanted to this properly, but I can’t wait.” She quirked a brow at him, her arm sliding around his waist. He opened his hand and let her take the box.

When she opened it, her face fell into a shocked look that not even Commander Shepard could have hidden and he smiled.

“Will you be my wife?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

** Epilogue **

****

 

His shuttle touched down as he grabbed his bag and paid the man for his services as the door opened. He hopped out, eager to get to inside and greet his wife and kids. It had been a week since he had seen them and he was bursting at the seams to hold them in his arms.

He and Shepard had talked about Turian-Human babies, but had been ever doubtful that it would work so they had approached Liara asking if she would help them. She had agreed wholeheartedly and they had conceived two beautiful human baby girls.

Jane had Garrus’ blue eyes and his affinity for sniper rifles, even at a young age while Caelia had inherited her mother’s green eyes, freckles and thoughtful expressions.

It wasn’t until the girls were older that Eliza had confessed that she wanted a Turian baby and that was how they had ended up with David and Cleobis. They had searched for a surrogate Turian mother until his sister had almost slapped them both saying that she was more than willing and Liara had once agreed to be a bridge between the two Turians and Human.

He opened the door to their house on Aite and was rewarded with cries from his children screaming that he was home as their little hands and arms engulfed him, almost toppling him but he laughed and kissed each of them on top of their heads, smiling as Eliza stepped out of the kitchen tossing a towel over her shoulder.

“You’re early,” she said, crossing the space and giving him a light kiss on the lips.

“I couldn’t stay away for long,” he replied as his kids darted off to their playroom in a fit of happy giggles that their father was home.

“Good thing too. They were getting restless.” He raised a brow at her, his mandibles flaring in a grin.

“You’ve handled a full crew. Surely you could handle a few children.” She shrugged and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. He caught her waist in his long arm and turned her towards him, sliding his hand into her hair while giving her a long kiss. She pulled away with a blush and a promise in her eyes that they would have time to themselves later.

“Sure, but that was years ago.”

He laughed and nodded, understanding her plight but knowing that her words were just that. Words.

This was their heaven and it was a damn good one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it comes to an end. Maybe the end wasn't what you were hoping for, but I hope you still enjoyed it nonetheless. 
> 
> It's been a good, really good, long run with Elizabeth and I thank each and everyone of you for being so damn supportive of this story. :-)


End file.
